How to deal with a flake?

[fcokeefe]

Here is a brief history,
A couple of months back I was working with a couple of guy's. We would get together and train, there was a kickboxer, a submission grappler and me (some where in between). Well, I was starting my own m.a. school and my time was very limited to when I could train with my friends. As soon as I wasn't there every workout I started to get the "dude, your flaking out. I can't trust you to be there". To no availe I tried telling them that I would be there just give me some time to get thing straightend out. Well time has past and I am back to work out, but my buds are flaking out now. One bud just bought a house and he say's he is setting up, the other, well I could tell you if he ever returned my calls. Do you good folks think that I should drop these guys or keep trying to get the group back together? Any thoughts at all would be great.

[Thai Bri]

I think the onus was on you to be there, and you weren't. I too have been to a class where the instructor didn't show every now and again. I ended up being "taught" by snotty teenagers.

I don't think you should drop these guys. I think they should drop you. And guess what? I think they have.

[eXcessiveForce]

once the pattern of working out is broken and it is no longer habit people fill the time with other things. Often you will never get them to give up the time they used to spend on working out because the stuff they have put in that time slot is now too important to them.

Maybe if you stay on them and keep trying you might get them to work out again but it's gonna take a while I figure.

[fcokeefe]

clarity on my part

Thai Bri,

I was not the instructor for the group. It was just a couple of guys getting together to workout at someones house. A side note: I DO NOT miss classes for my students, my students come first, last, and everywhere in between. They pay me to be there and I will be damn sure that I am there, that was one of the reasons I missed the workouts. I never hid the fact that I was going to open a business from them. They new I hated my last vocation, I worked with them.

You are right that it was my obligation to be there, I did make a commitment. I am wrong for not trying to diligently reschedule each and every workout (oh, they are pissed at me for trying to reschedule the ones I did) and I have apologized to them for that and missing the workouts that I did miss. Nuf said on my behalf.

[Burton]

I think you should always be looking for new people in a training group. People move on in life, so have a steady stream of newcomers and you will eventually find a few who are lifers.