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When I met the BJJ Brothers
It seems that every one of these cage fighting no-rules guys are always walking around trying to act tough. My physique and street rep always draw attention to me, so there always seems to be some MMA guy trying to prove himself.
Quite a few years ago, I was lifting in my gym, and was told about some South Americans giving jujitsu lessons in the aerobic room. I go to check it out. The people giving it were all brothers by the last name of Gracie along with their dad. I didn't have a shirt on and I could tell the Gracie's were sizing me up. I knew when they said they were going to demonstrate their techniques on someone they would pick me. My chiselled rock hard body always seemed to make MA masters try out their punches on me for some reason.
Anyways, the main guy (Horse or Hoyse or something like that) wanted me to try to prevent him from tackling me and taking me down. I was like "Hey man, you can't weigh more than 170 pounds; you are going to get yourself hurt with those spaghetti arms." I was just kidding around with them, but they all wanted to try and act macho. I am standing there and he does some kick to me knee and then charges in trying to tackle me. I underhook his arms and kind of shoot my legs back to block him. I finally push him away and he gets angry. I hear the old man start yelling in some language that I don't understand and it starts to make me kind of angry (I rage easy) because I can't understand. The Horse guy is like "One more time. This time for real."
I am definitely pissed now so I invite him to try. I planned on showing him what for real was. He did the kick into the dive tackle again, but this time I grabbed him around the waist and lifted him up and power bombed him hard on the mat. I heard a moan from him as his eyes rolled back. He was out cold. I stand over him flexing (I was raging so flexing just comes natural to me) and all of a sudden I feel someone grab around my neck. It's the guy's old ass father! I was raging, but I have my limits, so I merely grabbed his head and snapmared him over my shoulder, cracking him down on his ass. I guess I did it a little to hard as fell over moaning. The other brother (Henso? I think was how he had introduced himself) punched me from the side, but he punched like a girl, and I just grabbed his arm and kicked him in the stomach and then head butted him. He went down lying on his stomach and I reached and grabbed his ankles and began spinning around. I timed the release just right and he went flying into the wall where crumpled to the floor.
The people around looked in awe. I grabbed Horses Gi and wiped my mouth. I told the people, " Look, Mixed Martial arts are good for little weaklings and there are some benefits to them, but there is not a mA invented that can overcome strength, street fighting knowledge, and rage. Get big, strong, and learn how to do some moves. You won't ever have to pay a dime to some sensei to teach you something." With that I left the gym. That night I picked up a Colombian hottie that I stuck it to all night in celebration of my punking out those guys. I have heard those Gracey guys have gone on to have some success in the fighting world, and they can keep having it, just as long as they don't cross paths with me again.
Quite a few years ago, I was lifting in my gym, and was told about some South Americans giving jujitsu lessons in the aerobic room. I go to check it out. The people giving it were all brothers by the last name of Gracie along with their dad. I didn't have a shirt on and I could tell the Gracie's were sizing me up. I knew when they said they were going to demonstrate their techniques on someone they would pick me. My chiselled rock hard body always seemed to make MA masters try out their punches on me for some reason.
Anyways, the main guy (Horse or Hoyse or something like that) wanted me to try to prevent him from tackling me and taking me down. I was like "Hey man, you can't weigh more than 170 pounds; you are going to get yourself hurt with those spaghetti arms." I was just kidding around with them, but they all wanted to try and act macho. I am standing there and he does some kick to me knee and then charges in trying to tackle me. I underhook his arms and kind of shoot my legs back to block him. I finally push him away and he gets angry. I hear the old man start yelling in some language that I don't understand and it starts to make me kind of angry (I rage easy) because I can't understand. The Horse guy is like "One more time. This time for real."
I am definitely pissed now so I invite him to try. I planned on showing him what for real was. He did the kick into the dive tackle again, but this time I grabbed him around the waist and lifted him up and power bombed him hard on the mat. I heard a moan from him as his eyes rolled back. He was out cold. I stand over him flexing (I was raging so flexing just comes natural to me) and all of a sudden I feel someone grab around my neck. It's the guy's old ass father! I was raging, but I have my limits, so I merely grabbed his head and snapmared him over my shoulder, cracking him down on his ass. I guess I did it a little to hard as fell over moaning. The other brother (Henso? I think was how he had introduced himself) punched me from the side, but he punched like a girl, and I just grabbed his arm and kicked him in the stomach and then head butted him. He went down lying on his stomach and I reached and grabbed his ankles and began spinning around. I timed the release just right and he went flying into the wall where crumpled to the floor.
The people around looked in awe. I grabbed Horses Gi and wiped my mouth. I told the people, " Look, Mixed Martial arts are good for little weaklings and there are some benefits to them, but there is not a mA invented that can overcome strength, street fighting knowledge, and rage. Get big, strong, and learn how to do some moves. You won't ever have to pay a dime to some sensei to teach you something." With that I left the gym. That night I picked up a Colombian hottie that I stuck it to all night in celebration of my punking out those guys. I have heard those Gracey guys have gone on to have some success in the fighting world, and they can keep having it, just as long as they don't cross paths with me again.
I bask in the glory of my Internet Celebrity....
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