I feel...a loss

[Ryu (non-working password]

Well first I have to wait for the copyright to be sent. They said it should be here in the next couple of months.
Then my next step is to just put it out there. I have an editor who has read something of mine in the past, and a close friend who is an author, but I think what I'd really like for the story is to show it up on the screen. The only problem is that I can't see any actors portraying the characters, and I am bending towards maybe some kind of animation, or computer graphics. Adult animation is not a concept here in the states, but people are catching on a little bit. I really don't want to get ahead of myself though. It's no where near ready as of now.

Thank you for the compliments.

Ryu

[Ronin]

You GO Ryu!!!

Being a full-time writer is tough. I tried it for a while. A lot of work, for little financial pay-off. After exhausting my family's patience, along with my meager savings, I had to put my writing dreams on the back-burner for a while. Plus, I am not as good yet as I would like to be.

However, I have a lot of accumulated material floating around now that I need to polish up and send out. I heartily encourage you to do the same.

Also, your story sounds a bit like Final Fantasy VII. That's a compliment, not an insult. Maybe you could hook up with one of the video-game companies? I think interactive fiction is going to make a big splash in the coming years. Heck, I may even look into that myself...

[Ryu (non-working password]

Ronin, the similaritiest just keep multiplying don't they??

I never knew you wrote! Perhaps you can give me some pointers on getting it out there.
Actually I have given thought to the game market. The "genre" of my story is probably the same kind as the late final fantasies, or "Dune" or something of that nature. I've always been very interested in those types of stories. Though I hope mine really holds a unique aspect to it. There are a lot of inner workings and moral lessons I want to kind of mask within the action.

How did you go about doing it, Ronin?

[Ronin]

Poorly.

I didn't really get into the marketing aspect of it, which is what I should have done first. I just sort of poured myself into it, trying to write an epic novel, similar in scope to yours (different plot; that would be too similar).

I also had a lot of short stories built up over the years that I sent out to some literary magazines. They were rejected. I think I got a little discouraged at that point. Also, my family and girlfriend (at the time) were getting on me about "getting a job", and I realized I just wasn't going about things the right way. I kind of burned myself out after about 8 months.

What I have, is 100 pages of novel that need to be edited and essentially re-written. There are a lot of things I need to do to flesh the story out and really put a unique stamp on it. Writing is hard work!! I guess I thought it would be all fun and games, like when I was younger. Maybe when you're just doing fun genre stories, but when you try to write with depth it can be exhausting, and the emotional support you get from loved ones can be a bit inconsistent. Plus, I am hard on myself. I don't just want to be good; I want to be great. And that takes time.

Don't let this deter you. Write in your spare time and start sending stuff out. You might want to start with short stories to get the inevitable rejections out of the way. When you actually do get something published, it will make your novel easier to sell, because your name will already be out there.

Some time, I will take my own advice and try again. I'm only 27, and still have time to become the next Hemmingway.

[Gargoyle]

I'll relay to you a little truth known to who is commonly refered to as the greatest writer of the American West, Louie Lamour.

He was a young man traveling the world (read his "Education of a Wandering Man) and decided to kick his heels deep in the Arizona sand and begin his vocation as a writer.

He wrote his best, and he was rejected...and rejected...and rejected...and rejected...and rejected...and rejected...

"I knew it would be tough breaking into the business, but I never knew it would be this difficult!"

This, said by who is now a legend in a genre, the same man who wallpapered his one bedroom appartment in the desert with his rejection slips.

--------

If what is in your writing you believe in, if what is in your writing is as much you and more than you as the body which propels the ball of art into volleyball play, thrust up and ready to bang into the world-play, then I promise you, the message will eventually get out, your voice heard.

Be absolutely sure that what you wrote is needed, and you will be its untiring advocate. I know enough about you to notice a determination and a consistancy, and your idealism is exactly the antidote to a cynical world, one which only wishes to be a child again, and believe...

[Ronin]

Gargoyle:

That is very encouraging!

Right now I am learning computers, but I don't think the writing bug has left me yet. Plus, I still have lots of unpublished material.

Did you write that last part, or was that Lamour? Either way, it was cool.

How's your bro coming with his work?

[Gargoyle]

That was me, though I was relating L'Amour's story.

I brought in the imagery of water out of memory of Joyce's Finnegan's Wake. He likenened the stream of consciousness to the path of water.

Ronin, if you believe that your life is precious, that your perspective is worth remembering, how can you not feel the river tugging your ankle in the shallows, begging you to enter that kayak, thrilled to steer with rush of oar towards the deep of the roaring river...?

I've read your posts, more than you know, and whether or not you have curried favor with my brother or not has little do do with my lifted eyebrow at your writing style and your voice that's worth hearing.

I wonder what you'll pull up from the ground with the artists lifting hands... I wonder if, when you're 70 years old, if you will look back on your days and say, "I gave all I had to make meaning in this strange world that I will leave all too soon."

I wonder the same thing about myself.

[Ronin]

Gargoyle:

You ask tough questions.

An idealist...yeah, that about sums me up. And I have come to realize through some very difficult experiences that I am a fighter...maybe not a real-life, get-in-the-ring and sock the guy fighter, but a fighter in spirit. I don't like to quit, EVER. I may not live up to your brother's ideal of courage, but I think I come pretty close.

For the record, I think very highly of both you and your brother, in terms of the way you express yourselves, and what you mean to this Forum. I like the way that you personally make many of the same points as Pit, without managing to irritate everyone under the sun. Of course, since that is his objective, I guess he is doing well. I think that he and I have had some memorable battles, even though we don't exactly see eye-to-eye. He is taller, for one thing.

As for my making sense of the world... >sigh<. Just when I think I am getting somewhere the rug is usually yanked from under me. Losing my girlfriend (in the dating sense) has been extremely painful for me, but also educational. I guess I am surviving, though it doesn't always seem that way. Right there is a story that would take forever to tell, even if someone wanted to hear it (I'll spare you ). Undoubtedly it will find its way into whatever medium I choose to express myself. I have learned that it is possible to love someone so much that you lose sight of what is best for yourself. I have also learned that it is possible to survive ANYTHING if you allow yourself to.

Right now, I try to keep going with my studies, prepare myself for a future career in a variety of possible fields, and to be the best person I can possibly be, EVERY SINGLE DAY. That is my quest. To make a difference, in a positive way, of every person I interact with, even if it is just holding a door open for someone or smiling and saying hello instead of just grunting. I try to do good things for people, without looking for thanks or reward, just to say "I did my best for so-and-so". It is exhausting, but I don't know any other way to live.

I have no choice but to keep fighting. This is who I am. Hopefully, I am on the right path.

[Edited by Ronin on 12-09-2000 at 03:57 AM]

[Bau13]

Ryu: the stuff i write is mostly rock stuff...but I do play ALL types of music...so writing other styles is not difficult for me..

[Gargoyle]

Ronin:

That was an awesome post.

An idealist...yeah, that about sums me up.

Count me in that list. The problem with idealists, as I've lived out the role and seen them personally, is that the input from the world fuels cynicism.

Lies, half truths, the pettiness that demands we succumb to their tactics, most of what this world has to offer, prima facie, is damaging to the ideals, the better that takes the nips from coyote's, like the forebearing bear.

This morning I got up and flipped on the TV. I turned it to PBS, and saw a "motivational speaker". Immediately wondered, "ok, what does this guy want me to buy?"

But he relayed stories and wisdom. I was amazed at what he had to say, not because I was witnessing a charismatic figure...more to the point, I listened to a man who told human stories, with a method, a purpose, a focus.

His last name was Dyer.

He wrote of four pathways to enlightenment:
1. Discipline
2. Wisdom
3. Unconditional love
4. Surrender.

I will elaborate on my memories on my Saturday morning.

1. Discipline. Whatever we wish to achieve requires practice, continual practice. Michael Jordan, for all his natural talent, was the first to appear to practice and the last to leave.

2. Wisdom. The way, we need better ways to practice, we need direction, and how better to learn the way than reflect on a man's entire life and struggle, seeking the same thing we seek - enlightenment. It's what Covey would describe as climbing your corporate ladder, your spiritual ladder...with the ladder on the correct building. Wisdom, the assimilation of correct principles, this lighthouse allows our ship to recognize and steer clear of the shallow shoals.

3. Unconditional love. Dyer relayed a story that was as touching as it was profound. A mother's daughter had a type of diabetes which required constant attention and treatment, and since she was at home, their insurance company in their corporate wisdom saw it fit to declare the child not worthy of coverage, since she was at home and, therefore, clearly well enough. The child might have died at any moment, slipping into an irretrievable coma. The mother had to administer six times per day orally insulin. One day, her daughter felt herself slipping into Coma...she squeezed her mother's hands and said, "Don't ever leave me!".

Her mother said, "I promise I will never leave you, and a promise is a promise."

The girl didn't die, and her mother never left her side. Dyer was reading this in a magazine, between the bouts of writing for his next book. One of the rare times he turned on the TV was after he finished reading the article, and there was an expose on this woman and her daughter, the woman reading to her daughter from a book analyzing miracles.

It was Dyer's book.

Something profound was aplay, and Dyer contacted his network of friends to get this woman's phone number. He got it, he called her and arranged a meeting.

When his wife and he knocked and entered the house, he spontaneously burst into tears, as did his wife. He recognized that he was in a presence...

When Jesus Christ walked into a villiage, that presence alone summoned a transforming agent, alive in every cell in our body, and something powerful and healing occured - the balm of unconditional love.

After that meeting, Dyer wrote a book which hit the best seller list, all of the proceeds and profit going to that family who was in terrible debt.

4. Surrender. The wise man speaking was not always so wise. He said that he is like a camel - he wakes on his knees, he goes about his day, and he's back on his knees before sleeping...all that, without requiring drinking. He was an alcoholic.

As his last pathway, he described a surrender to something more than you, something enormous and living outside of you.
Call "God" what you will, but there is a powerful play, a river that rages right outside our door... and it aches for our running, our leaping out on the surfboard to ride it out.

[Ronin]

Gargoyle:

My life is day-to-day at this point. My depression level goes up and down. I am not usually suicidal, but some days it seems like it would be nice. What keeps me going, at least in part, is the ideal of courage, part of which you and your brother are so good at articulating.

Like Ryu, I have always been fascinated by the samurai, not simply because they were killers, but because they were soldiers with a conscience. Bushido was a fusion of Buddhist, Taoist, Shinto, and martial virtues. The duty of the samurai was to protect Japanese society, the farmers in particular since they provided what everyone else needed to live. The Bhagavad-Gita ("Song of God") speaks also of the warrior's duty to protect. The god Krishna instructs the reluctant warrior Arjuna to put aside his feelings of sympathy for his corrupt family members, and fight to regain the kingdom which has been stolen from him. Because it is his duty to his people.

If we are warriors, and who here does not perceive himself that way, then I believe it is our duty to protect and honor the society in which we live. This is my philosophy, and I try to apply it to every area of my life. I try to see myself as a willing servant to those who have need of me. Sometimes, occasionally, someone takes advantage of this to hurt me, but the pain is usually fleeting and I learn who can be trusted and who cannot.

I have learned a lot in the last year, an incalculable amount in the last six. I still haven't figured out exactly how to put my knowledge to use. I find that people naturally do not want to be told how to live their lives, so I try to set an example and be consistent about it. I don't smoke; I drink moderately; I try not to back-bite people; I give advice when asked. I try and fail to stay out of petty Internet squabbles. I try to be virtuous. It is damn hard. I tend to think that the only things worth doing are damn hard. Some days I wish I were not so morally righteous, but I might as well wish to be six inches taller. I think if people as individuals try harder to be good to those around them, the problems of the world will be dramatically reduced. I think all the great religious figures have preached this.

It is my fond hope that I can add my voice to the chorus.

[Ryu (non-working password]

"some days I wish I was not so morally righteous."


Ronin,
This is proof that you are on the right track. Not because it is wrong to be moral, but because it is extremely hard. That quote means that you contemplate yourself, your values, and the world around you. That is a blessing, and is something you should hold onto. It is easy to follow what everyone else does, or the "pop culture" attitude about issues in our society. What is hard is to face that, and yet keep yourself on track to the code of honor you believe in, and the honest examination of yourself, your values, and how they relate to others. If it counts for anything, I think you are on the right track, and I have not seen that in the majority of people I know. That is why I only keep a few close friends around me, and treasure when I see a woman with high morality.
Don't ever let anyone make you think that what you believe, and how you are trying to live is wrong, worthless, too hard, stupid, etc etc. There is one fact you can't dispute. The world doesn't move forward on mediocre people. It takes a certain flame to get things going. Without the people who hold fast to ideals, charisma, morality, compassion, and empathy, we would have all died out long ago. So don't sweat the small stuff
Day by day is the right way. Keep your goals and future in your mind's eye, but don't forget to live in the now. Feel how great it is to see nature, to talk to people who share the same ideas with you.
Bushido always spoke of the right and wrong.
"But to be thus unstable and make no distinction between right and wrong is contrary to reason, so that anyone who understands this distinction and yet does what is wrong is no proper samurai, but a raw and untaught person. And the cause of it is small capacity for self-control. Though this may not seem so bad, if we examine into its origin we find it arises from cowardice. That is why I maintain that it is essential for a samurai to refrain from wrong and cleave to what is right." - Daidoji Yuzan, samurai advisor, 16th century Japan.