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A psychoanalysis of Tez
Don't worry, this won't take as long to read as Tez's "magnum opus" about Joe Manco, easily the most frightening self-portrait of obsession that I have ever read.
Tez:
A lonely, frustrated individual residing on a cold and rainy island off the coast of Europe. Undoubtedly a product of the British public school system, Tez grew up introverted and shy as a result of his scrawny, malnourished physique, and strange obsession with his own anal orifice. Perhaps a lack of proper toilet-training led to this malady. Whatever the case, Tez was able to achieve some measure of success in life through his mastery of computer science, although self-esteem was still elusive. Eventually, he married an attractive woman and settled down, but still something was missing.
That is, until he found Mousel's Forum, an oasis in the desert of his psychic life. There, Tez was able to obtain the friends and socialization that he so desperately needed growing up, but was deprived of by cruel headmasters in leather bondage gear. He began to feel like...a man. Even his chest-size increased to a respectable 16-inch diameter. Until, the Bad Dog came.
The Bad Dog was mean. He was nasty. He didn't give Tez the respect he so richly deserved. In fact, he didn't care about Tez's opinion at all! This so hurt and offended Tez that he felt compelled to lash out, to challenge the Bad Dog on every conceivable subject, even those he knew nothing about. Strangely, no one sprang to Tez's defense. Didn't they see the Bad Dog was, well, bad? Didn't they share his pain? No. They cared not. And bitterness and loathing began to consume Tez, eating him away inside, until, finally, his fragile persona shattered into many pieces. The music-lover: Beatle. The analyst: Sleevesleep. The all-around asshole: What's inside a girl. And many, many more.
We have yet to see all the many faces of Tez. But one thing is certain:
None of them will ever manage to be interesting, or relevant to Mixed Martial Arts in the slightest way.
Tez:
A lonely, frustrated individual residing on a cold and rainy island off the coast of Europe. Undoubtedly a product of the British public school system, Tez grew up introverted and shy as a result of his scrawny, malnourished physique, and strange obsession with his own anal orifice. Perhaps a lack of proper toilet-training led to this malady. Whatever the case, Tez was able to achieve some measure of success in life through his mastery of computer science, although self-esteem was still elusive. Eventually, he married an attractive woman and settled down, but still something was missing.
That is, until he found Mousel's Forum, an oasis in the desert of his psychic life. There, Tez was able to obtain the friends and socialization that he so desperately needed growing up, but was deprived of by cruel headmasters in leather bondage gear. He began to feel like...a man. Even his chest-size increased to a respectable 16-inch diameter. Until, the Bad Dog came.
The Bad Dog was mean. He was nasty. He didn't give Tez the respect he so richly deserved. In fact, he didn't care about Tez's opinion at all! This so hurt and offended Tez that he felt compelled to lash out, to challenge the Bad Dog on every conceivable subject, even those he knew nothing about. Strangely, no one sprang to Tez's defense. Didn't they see the Bad Dog was, well, bad? Didn't they share his pain? No. They cared not. And bitterness and loathing began to consume Tez, eating him away inside, until, finally, his fragile persona shattered into many pieces. The music-lover: Beatle. The analyst: Sleevesleep. The all-around asshole: What's inside a girl. And many, many more.
We have yet to see all the many faces of Tez. But one thing is certain:
None of them will ever manage to be interesting, or relevant to Mixed Martial Arts in the slightest way.
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