My kitty cat is a great MMA fighter:

[jread]

Here's why:

Every day when I come home from work, I have some play time with my 2-year-old calico, "Daisy". Yesterday I paid attention to here while we were play-fighting and I've come to the conclusion that cats are Mixed Martial Artists......

I started off by sweeping my hand across the floor in front of her, then back and forth. She would slap at me and hit my hand almost every time. Cats have incredible striking speed and accuracy! You are hit before you even know what happened. They can also strike equally well with either paw!

After a bit of this, I ball up my fist and shake it in front of her... this is when she traps my fist in a clinch that would make any Muay Thai fighter proud. Both paws wrapped around my fist, claws locking it in tight, then she pulls it close to her for the attack (with teeth instead of elbows and knees, of course). I have to say that her clinch was good and she attacked me as soon as she got me into it.

I broke free from the clinch after I got tired of her teeth in my knuckles, then I took my hand back and went for the takedown. Grabbed her on the side, flipped her over on her back, then excecuted my super "tickles" technique. I now had the upper hand.... or so I thought...

Truth is, cats are most comfortable fighting on their back... she was the one with the upperhand, not me! She had me just where she wanted me.... she had all her weapons now.... paws, feet, and teeth! She wrapped her arms and legs around my whole arm, then started chewing me up! I lifted up my arm but she was still latched on..... she was going for the submission!! I tried to flip her over and she just twisted her body and spun around right back into position. I broke free, she clinched my fist, pulled it towards her, then on her back she went for more attacks.

I eventually shook her off and we went back to cuddling up on the chair and watching a crappy movie on Showtime, but I gained a new respect for my 6-pound furry friend. Cats can strike, clinch and grapple with the best of them. Just imagine if she was about 200 pounds instead of 6!!!!

I think I may talk her into teaching her deadly art to humans. I'm sure that for enough cans of tuna, I could get in on all the secrets

[gracilva]

Pussies do have great submission skills.

[Crabpuff]

You got that right, I have seen countless guys submit to pussies, though it does not not work on everyone many have fallen to their submission skills.

[bettybizkit]

jread~

that was hysterical! ROFL. loved ur post! i just watched this old kung fu movie i found on dvd this weekend, called snake in the eagle's shadow. there's this scene where this kitty fights a snake, and i was like, OMG, little kitty! but he kicked ass once the kitty was on his back, and had the snake in his guard. anyways, hilarious post

[MrPoopy]

I agree. Cats can strike and grapple pretty well. Cats won't fall for the same tricks that a dog will fall for. I used to grapple with my 100 pound lab for hours at a time. I had submission moves modified to work on him and discovered new, never before seen moves. Cats and dogs both have similiar joints, but none of my moves would work on a cat.

[Crabpuff]

Yeah well I have seen a monkey mess with a tiger, hit and run, tiger had no chance. Just goes to show a good monkey can beat a pussy any day

[MrPoopy]

Come on now. I don't believe a monkey can take a tiger. Was this a little monkey or was it a chimp?

[Crabpuff]

I'm sorry due to my ignorance I kind of assumed almost every kind of monkey chimp, baboon are all considered monkeys. But here see for your self my many doubters http://www.hugi.is/hahradi/bigboxes....51208&f_id=929

[jread]

That monkey is a badass!!

[Crabpuff]

but remember monkeys can not beat tigers

[bewing77]

One difference between the cat and dog is the extreme flexibility. A cat can flex it's spine as much backwards as it can forwards. Imagine grappling against someone with that ability

Generally speking, humans are quite physically inept relative to our size (but of course, our brain allow us to create tools that make us much stronger). An average chimp or orangutang would probably be a serios challange in the octagon and have you ever tried to take down a 200 pound maverick without a rope, or tried outrunning a dog (excluding your average lapdog)..

[Scryden]

That monkey should compete in some UFCs. After single-handedly beating two tigers, one measly human shouldn't be too difficult.

[avelocci]

Jread, would you say that your kitty is a south PAW? Get it SOUTH PAW? Huh? Anyone?...Anyone? (Joke followed by akward silance.)

Sincerly,
Andrew Velocci

[Ikken Hisatsu]

ornagutans have ten times that strength of an average fully grown male. they would KILL anyone in a fight, imo. short but damn they have some range with those arms.