an essay on anger and fighting

[Blue Wave Gym]

please note I'm not trying to be negative or make ma look bad but I'm wondering if the way I feel about this subject is far out or common.So take it with a grain of salt

I hate therefore I am
by Blue wave gym
I hate therefore I am, I hate when I wake in the morning, I hate when I'm brushing my teeth,I hate when I lay my head down at night to go to sleep, I hate pretty much 24/7, I hate what is and what could have been and what was,I hate, I hate everything that's happened and everything that's going to happen, I hate, but most of all I hate me, I hate what I've become, I've lost all perspective and clairity years ago, ther is nothing left of me but anger hatred and rage, I hate, I try to pretend to have "feelings" and sometimes I do but usually they come out all sideways and I don't know how to deal with them or life in general,I have been hardened by my experiences in life and cannot find happiness or peace no matter how much I try, I hate, a furious anger continually burns in my heart and head, the only way to get the hate out is to train for my opponents destruction, If I had my way I'd fight untill near death then have someone take my out back shoot me like damaged goods I am, by the way did I mention I hate the only time things make sense to me in when I'm staring accross the ring at my enemy knowing that on this day he'll damage me and I'll damage him. Everything else in life but the fist will betray women, family, friends, work, country, it doesn't f****** matter anyways, everything but the fist that is.And in case you weren't paying attention did I mention, I hate. The only satisfaction is dealing out fist fulls of pain, then everything is right with my world and I can find some calm.When my opponent is busy enjoying life I'm hating and waiting to destroy him, I pay life back 1 punch at a time, 1 opponent at a time,1 day at a time, no one and nothing can take the things I've done in the ring away from me, my deeds stand for all time, oh and btw did I mention I hate, only when I have completely destroyed myself through ring combat will I be satisfied and a even the I'll still hate, so long as my body draws breath I'll hate, even in the afterlife I'll hate, I hate and there's nothing I can do about it, so be it, untill theres nothing of me left, even the my memory will still hate.My spirit spits on everything and even then I hate, even when I achive victory I still hate,

have a nice day guys, I fell much better now, I think I'll go train now
sorry if I upset anyone, just venting

[Ahoym8e]

counseling could help you.

I am not kidding.

[Blue Wave Gym]

thanks

counseling could help you.

I am not kidding.

but actually I was half kidding/venting, kinda,what's a good nonviolent way to rid one's self of anger, does any body know? I realize being mad about "life stuff" all one's life is f***ing stupid and nonproductive, but haven't some of the fighters on here started fighting to channel their anger/aggresssions into positive directions
and then kinda went overboard with the whole thing? any feed back would be respectfully appreciated, I'm not trying to turn this thread in to a shrinks couch but I'm interasted in the psyhcological aspects of keeping aggression in daily life in check and only releasing it at the proper time to acheive a balance that's good for ones mental health. btw how do you guys deal with the hurting peole aspect of fighting without becoming a sadist/ liking it too much.

[Bjjexpertise@be]

You didn't put enough angst into your "dark gothic poem".
Let me show you how it is done:

Whirling Twirling Darkness
Like the darkness within my soul eating at my heart
The fly
My soul
The fly
Whirling Twirling Darkness
Like angst filled hatred plunging into the depths of space
The fly
My soul
The fly
Whirling Twirling Darkness
Like Lamps over a dark and gloomy defiled heart
The fly
My soul
The fly
Whirling Twirling Darkness
Heart of darkness
Greatest movie ever.

[Tant01]

but actually I was half kidding/venting, kinda,what's a good nonviolent way to rid one's self of anger, does any body know? I realize being mad about "life stuff" all one's life is f***ing stupid and nonproductive, but haven't some of the fighters on here started fighting to channel their anger/aggresssions into positive directions
and then kinda went overboard with the whole thing? any feed back would be respectfully appreciated, ...
btw how do you guys deal with the hurting peole aspect of fighting without becoming a sadist/ liking it too much.

Go climb a rock. Seriously. Humans are soft targets, thin skinned and easily crippled. If not a rock then go hunt a pig with a knife/ spear. You just need to get out and try something new. I'm not telling you to jump out of a perfectly good airplane or trust your life to string and silk but falling is fun, landing is the scary part.

Can't do anything that fun forever so eventually you'll need a plan to deal with your tendency to inflict trauma. It's the civilized thing to do.

I got in a bit of trouble with our justice system once a long time ago. Sitting in a cell can give one pause to consider life's value without freedom. The value of the life and quality of life of another is as valuable as our own. At least in the eyes of the court.

Do whatever you do for the right reasons, not out of hate. You should deal with the violent felon with love and compassion for his soul. Just as you deal with your opponents in the ring. By demonstrating his weakness with superior skill are you not teaching him? This is the proper attitude to win. Your victory was not from the spawn of hatred at all but patience and virtue. Your goal not to kill or maim but to inspire, yes? Inflicting trauma is just one of many tools you can use to properly educate the less informed or common thugs...




The following is a fictional example. Any similarity to any known case involving any real person is purely coincidental and unintended.

What do you tell a Jury and Judge in court when you are asked why you shot him (there)

I shot him in the (pelvic girdle) because...


I thought he was wearing body armor?

I fixated on his weapon and shot low by reason of my poor marksmanship skills under stress?

I wanted him to stop screwing my (young) daughter?

I was pissed off?

I knew it would cripple him instantly?

I wanted him to die a slow painful death?



Now think about LOVE....

[SamuraiGuy]

Hmmm from I your little essay I gathered... you like to hurt people, and hate all the time that your not doing it....

When people say they like to hurt people there is something wrong with them, its like that Jeremy Horn guy who is soon to fight Chuck Lidell. "I fight because I like to hurt people"....

I think people who say that are just fooling themselves, if he really wanted to hurt people, wouldnt he just be a serial killer, or torture people, or even join the army... I mean in a war youd hurt alot more people than in MMA.

I love MMA but I dont fight because I like to hurt people, I like it cause its the ultimate form of competition, inflicting pain on the opponent is part of it, and I dont mind doing it, if your doing it cause you like to hurt people.... you need help.

Thats my opinion on it anyway.

[aseepish]

Heart of darkness
Greatest movie ever.

You're thinking of Apocalypse Now. But then again, Whirling Twirling Apocalypse doesn't have the same kind of ring to it.

[BadgerFu57]

I sense your chi is out of balance and that your Zhoo Zhitsu is in disharmony. My suggestion is to eat lots of fruit and sodomize the pig.

[Bjjexpertise@be]

aseepish I was thinking the same thing when I was writing that part.

[BadgerFu57]

When people say they like to hurt people there is something wrong with them, its like that Jeremy Horn guy who is soon to fight Chuck Lidell. "I fight because I like to hurt people"....
.

It is possible that it's just marketing. Lidell is the UFC's poster boy right now.... Jeremy Horn is kinda ugly and would make a great "heel". So by making him look evil, everyone hates him and wants Chuck to beat him.

[Ahoym8e]

It is possible that it's just marketing. Lidell is the UFC's poster boy right now.... Jeremy Horn is kinda ugly and would make a great "heel". So by making him look evil, everyone hates him and wants Chuck to beat him.

Yes, straight out of the WWE.

[Ahoym8e]

but actually I was half kidding/venting, kinda,what's a good nonviolent way to rid one's self of anger, does any body know? I realize being mad about "life stuff" all one's life is f***ing stupid and nonproductive, but haven't some of the fighters on here started fighting to channel their anger/aggresssions into positive directions
and then kinda went overboard with the whole thing? any feed back would be respectfully appreciated, I'm not trying to turn this thread in to a shrinks couch but I'm interasted in the psyhcological aspects of keeping aggression in daily life in check and only releasing it at the proper time to acheive a balance that's good for ones mental health. btw how do you guys deal with the hurting peole aspect of fighting without becoming a sadist/ liking it too much.

The level of hate you expressed for yourself and everything around you is cause for concern (or should be for you). It is not normal. Many people experience happiness just randomly, and it is pleasant and enheartening. If you are incapable of experiencing this, it may be due to chemical imbalances in your body, etc. There is help for that (meds, counseling). Constant hate will make your life dysfunctional, make you unable to maintain normal relationships with family, friends, women etc., and you will end up in a downward spiral.

to answer your question though, the high of winning is offset by the crushing low of getting my ass kicked. Even when I win I might still get hurt: crank my shoulder, get my face mashed, break fingers, whatever. I get tired of that and reign myself in, pursuing MA's that have more of a technique aspect (BJJ for example), or do things outside of MA, like read books, or build race cars, or focus on getting promoted at work, whatever. It all makes me happy.

[SamuraiGuy]

"It is possible that it's just marketing. Lidell is the UFC's poster boy right now.... Jeremy Horn is kinda ugly and would make a great "heel". So by making him look evil, everyone hates him and wants Chuck to beat him."

Actually at one point Chuck said he likes to fight cause he likes to hurt people and knock people out too lol.

Although I see your point, who in their right minds would want chuck to beat Horn, I hate chuck.... punching a guy after he slips makes him "the best light-heavyweight in the world"... bullshit..

[BadgerFu57]

by best light heavyweight in the world they mean the best in the UFC. Everyone knows Pride has better fighters.

Vanderlai by stompage.

[bbbb]

Is...?

hate O.K.?

I hate ....... and it effect's my whole life. But, I can't stop hating them.