Do grapplers make for poor lovers?

[GuardMaster]

Just wondering how you grapplers out there rate yourself as lovers. Do you think a fighting mindset and a sexual intimacy mindset can mix? Do you spend more time thinking of how to break someones arm than bring your woman to orgasm?

Seduction is indeed a time consuming practice like any other. Most women in my opinion would probably be a little intimidated by a martial artist/grappler whose mind is on how to win fights. Unless she's a teeny bopper chances are the thought of you blowing up at a stranger because he comes on to her might make her even more apprehensive about forming a love/lust relationship with you.

Now its key that a great looking bod is a huge factor in being a sexual magnet, but that can simply be attained by workouts at the gym not m.a. Also I'm talking about forming a relationship with the beauty of your dreams not some average looking woman hopping on a bus.

How many men here consider them superb lovers, devoting similar or more amounts of time to the pursuit of womanly orgasms, romance, and love as they do to their m.a. goals. Being such different pursuits its hard to believe one can actually help the other.

GuardMaster

[duchman]

A little girl and her mother were walking through the park one day when they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl said, "Mommy, what are they doing?"

The mother hesitated, then quickly replied, "Um, they're making cakes."

The next day they were at a zoo and the little girl saw two monkeys having sex. Again she asked her mother, "What are they are doing?"

Her mother replied with the same response: "Making cakes."

The next day the girl said to her mother, "Mommy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the living room last night."

Shocked, the mother asked, "How do you know?"

She said, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."

[Maui Jim]

Hell No! we make better lovers because we know more positions, have more endurance and flexibility. Gee with that much flexibility .......wait O yea I'm staying home today ! LOL

[Edited by Maui Jim on 01-05-2001 at 02:01 PM]

[Robbie]

I've never had a complaint from any of my girl friends.

[Ryu (non-working password]

Since it is a serious question, I'll try my best at a serious answer. (by the way Duch, that was just plain gross. )

I really do not think that the mindset of a warrior or fighter should at all reflect his mindset with a woman except in a positive way. Fighters, in my opinion, should strive to love, protect, and cherish their significant others if nothing more that from the deeper understanding of our own mortality then others perhaps.
If you are talking about physical things, then yes positions, flexibility, endurance, and both gentleness and strength can deliver pleasure to your spouse, etc. However I do not believe people are "born" lovers, and sensual technique has to be learned just like any grappling move. Many guys have no clue about foreplay, intimate games, or where and in what order a woman's body should be aroused, etc. I don't want to get too in depth here, because on a guy's forum this will get lots of giggles I'm sure.
But seriously, a fighter should, in my opinion, be the epitome of all aspects in life. That should be fighting, protection, maturity, empathy, decision making, compassion, love, and yes sexual technique.
Men and women are made up completely different in that aspect, so in order for the woman to achieve her highest point of pleasure it's important for the man to know exactly what she likes, what she doesn't, how to do the things she likes well, spend a lot of time on foreplay, and above all communicate. Communication is the key in my opinion. That and being able to last more than 10 mins

Though I do not want to make myself to sound like some person who sleeps around a lot. I do not.
But I figured the question was looking for a real answer.

This is mine, in my most humble opinion.

Ryu

[Shrimp]

The girl of my dreams IS some average looking woman hopping on a bus.

Actually, I think grappling/ma makes me a better lover in every way: intensity, stamina, flexibility, (physical) sensitivity, patience, etc.

Plus, I believe rolling increases my libido. When I get out of class I can think of only two things:

1. Devouring some dead animal's carcass

2. Ravishing some female

Really.

Fighting, feeding, f*cking: they're all tied together, and have been as long as there have been people.

[Underdog]

How you fair with a woman depend, amongst other factors, by the place where you live; i.e. the sum of the social and cultural valours and the even religious ones.

I can talk about southern Italy, and here the fact that you are a somewhat fighter can only scare a woman or make see you as some weirdo; I've learned the hard way to keep my sht wired real tight; but one thing that I have noticed is that the vast majority of women are attracted by CONFIDENCE, even if this is a huge bluff (you'll get caught later, but faking confidence work in short term), also they are VERY attracted by how DANGEROUS you are. I've met women that told me they were sexually aroused by badasses, and I mean the real ones, the ones that you read between lines they are, not the showoffs.

As for physical traits, here an athletic body is vastly ignored, but a pretty face is an absolute must. You can fare real well with beer belly and a baby face, actually the vast majority of italian women love some belly on their men. Bodybuilders are absolutely puked over and derided by women (generally, not as a rule) .

As for relationships between MA and lovemaking I see none. They are two disctinct activities with differents purposes, they don't overlap.

For what concern sentiments however, have suffered because of fighting, be it for real or in competition, having endured and conquered pain is a huge asset for putting STABILITY in a relationship.

If you have dared to watch in real ugly places, you will hang to your love with superhuman strenght, protecting her and basically thinking about her disdaining yourself, and THAT friend is the ultimate women magnete....

[Badger]

No complaints from my wife......

she just gets mad when I try to put a lock on her afterwards.




-Badger

[duchman]

Yo underdog, dud you get my e-mail?

[Underdog]

Yeah, I did.

I predict we two will do serious kickass here when you'll get more info, duch.

I have one thing to straighten up here, he, he, heee...

[dan downard]

O.K. what are you two fereners plotting?
You guys are up to something,GIVE.

[duchman]

Dan,
what's are "fereners"?
you sick ****! LOL

[Peter E]

When I’m at it, I tend to be too preoccupied to think about anything else, so who cares if you’re a grappler. The only problem I have is when my girlfriend surprise hugs me from behind. My brain starts to switch back and forth between training mode and sweet loving mode. She cuddles on and I think “DON’T choke her! DON’T armbar her!”

Come to think of it, maybe she would enjoy it…

[darkyellowsky]

Are you all serious?

Now not to knock on anyone but do you all realize that you are giving serious answers to a very dumb-ass question. I'm sorry but it is just too funny.
I couldn't possibly think of any time where I was with a girl about to "stick it," but instead had an even more serious desire to put an arm bar on her. LOL! If any of you are having these feelings I suggest cutting down on the training and spending more time with your women. or with yourself if need be. LOL!

[Ryu (non-working password]

No one is serious with the "I have to try not to put a lock on her" stuff...

The actual question was more about sexual technique, which is a serious question.


Take care,
Ryu