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First some back ground I am a 30 year old black male from the deep south 249, 33 percent body fact a total geek high voiice and scared of his own shadow. Raised by my mother mostly and very little clue what a man is. a lot to share i know but i think it best that i let the full picture be shown for the best advice. As a child i was even more shielded because of sevre asthma. so i grew up rarley leaveing the house as my mother didn't wnt me to. so now i am a thirty year old tying to grow up and be a man, since i finally relized that i am the worst mouse i have ever seen. I want to change an am iin the process of doing it i have atarted body for live and am loseing weight, i am taking lessons to deepen my voice and studying the manorisms of men like avery brooks, lawrance fishburne, james earl jones, denzell washington, john amos, and forest whitaker to learn the movements, mannerisms and gestures of true black alpha males. while trying to notice and eliminate. the feminine gestures that come from being raised by a woman.
my question to this forum comes from a critcal piece of self confidence that i must learn but have no real clue how. at first i thought it was aggression but i now know its more than just that. there is a song by a rapper named bonecrusha called "neva scared." It basically tells me the truth of what i am trying to become i have to find away to control my fears of fighting confrontation bigger guys and such. yes this is about a girl one i proably will never get. but the problem will come up constantly and the later i start the harder it will be to change. Women don't want a weak scarred man, they want a protectot who is confident in this physical abilites. i need to learn how to do this. As youths in black communities fighting is encouraged and taught. If you look at dave chappelle's season 2 dvd you will see that charlie murphy's attitude is like the one i want for my self. His stems from when he was young, if he was getting in a fight outside his building his mother would hang a belt out of the window and yell " you better beat his ass or i am going to beat yours," even in my neighborhood thousands of miles away it was common that if kids of any age got into a fight the loses family would take him back day after day untill he won. so my question is how do i duplicate this in my 30 year old like make it so the fear of street fighting is not in me and eliminate the fears inside.
my question to this forum comes from a critcal piece of self confidence that i must learn but have no real clue how. at first i thought it was aggression but i now know its more than just that. there is a song by a rapper named bonecrusha called "neva scared." It basically tells me the truth of what i am trying to become i have to find away to control my fears of fighting confrontation bigger guys and such. yes this is about a girl one i proably will never get. but the problem will come up constantly and the later i start the harder it will be to change. Women don't want a weak scarred man, they want a protectot who is confident in this physical abilites. i need to learn how to do this. As youths in black communities fighting is encouraged and taught. If you look at dave chappelle's season 2 dvd you will see that charlie murphy's attitude is like the one i want for my self. His stems from when he was young, if he was getting in a fight outside his building his mother would hang a belt out of the window and yell " you better beat his ass or i am going to beat yours," even in my neighborhood thousands of miles away it was common that if kids of any age got into a fight the loses family would take him back day after day untill he won. so my question is how do i duplicate this in my 30 year old like make it so the fear of street fighting is not in me and eliminate the fears inside.
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