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Our teachers can't read and all our children are mentally retarded from the abysmal schools. The lakes and streams are clogged with industrial polution. Citizens mow each other down in the streets all day with machine guns. Baptist preachers are burning witches in the town square. The Texas Department of Corrections keeps its ovens running night and day burning political prisioners convicted on the flimsiest of evidence.
Our people live in squallid shacks and subsist on moldy pizza crusts thrown out by the billionaires who run the evil Big Corporations. Privilidged white collar frat brats run down disadvantaged inner-city children for fun in their BMW's. The millions of racist militia members here ride into the country each night and burn down the houses of minorities.
Our senior citizens must raise pit bulls to sell as meat to get enough money to buy the precious medicines they need to survive. Our policemen are all running drug and prostitution rings when they aren't profiling out-of-state motorists to beat up.
Oh the humanity!
Please pray to the Good Lord above for all of us poor souls living down here in the Hell that is known to the rest of the world as TEXAS.
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