The Karatekas Have Taken Over The Asylum.

[CHOKE UK]

I have over the years had many an occasion,
whilst attending Various Karate Schools,
where I have unfortunately experienced,
what can only be described as "self-defence" gone mad.

For clarity I shall describe just a few examples.

I mentioned in an earlier post,
being constantly reprimanded for hitting the punch bags hard !

Also whilst I have been sparring...........

Being told to "drop my guard"!

Being rebuked for catching kicks,
when the person incorrectly performing the kick was told that he was doing it ok, and that I was in the wrong.

Told not to throw combinations.
(one big punch, then get out)

Not allowed any contact in one school, whist sparring ????
(if you accidentally touched your opponent, you had to stop appologise and bow)!

After sparring with a black-belt karateka,
and beating him several times,
he replied "yeah but you werent doing proper moves" !
Where was the kata????
Kata really does work, so practice long and hard.

The list goes on and on................
but what are your stories of these instructors of lunacy???


Perhaps there will be enough material for a good joke book,
what will they call it ?

The comedy of errors ?

Raiders of the lost "art"
and the dojo of doom ?

Josepth and his amazing technicolour "belts" ?

GET - Kata? (Starring Michael Cain).

The Great "self-defence" scandal ?

Nightmare on "any street" ?
(1001 ways to get beaten up)

Any more ideas....?

[Great Sage]

In a knife defense drill, I accidently stabbed the instructor with the wooden knife. He then proceeded to tell me, "...you attacked me wrong."

[CHOKE UK]

Great Sage,
snap !!!!

Yes I have had that one too.

I was used for the instructor to demonstrate a knife attack.

And I walked up to him and simply stabbed him,
unfortunately it was only a wooden knife.

He asked me to repeat it,
and guess what?
the same thing happened !

Infront of the whole class,
he just kept asking me to repeat it,
and each time I got him.

In the end he said "no, you are doing it all wrong " !

And replaced me with one of his black belts and guess what ?

It worked.

So if he gets in a knife fight with one of his s black belts, then he'll be fine !

More stories for yet another film in the making?

"The BLADE-runner."
(unless confronted with one of his blackbelts) !

[platinum_angel]

i think the most of us have had our fill of karate lol.

[Turing]

Loads of stories

My neighbor has been taken Karate for 7 years. I have no formal martial arts training. I beat him up by tickling him It's so funny. I have taught him that he has wasted his time. I said Dan how many years have you been taking Karate. He said 7, Jaime, guess how many years of my life I have wasted? LoL He takes it like a good sport though. Noogies (sp?) are also rather effective on the tough "black belts."

[Tom Yum]

Once had an instructor of another style ask me to kick him. So I threw a push kick at his thigh and rocked him back 2 feet. He asked me to do it again and the same thing happened, I did this two more times and he gave up; he kept trying this leg trap kung fu technique, but couldn't pull it off. I was kicking him about 60-70% of my power.

he then asked me to hit him. I said "how?"

He said anyway you can. So I threw a jab, cross, feinted a left hook and turned it into a shovel hook that connected. He barely blocked the jab, the cross hit him off angle and the shovel landed right below his left rib.

He said he was out of practice. I threw the same combo again and he still couldn't pull it off. I slowed down the third time and he then hit me with a palm strike in the gut. Once he figured out what I was gonna do, he finally hit me.

I don't think all traditional ma's are like this, but there are many.

[CHOKE UK]

There seems to be a pattern appearing............

keep your replies a-comin'.......

I think we'lll eventually have enough to start a......

"carry-on" series..........

Maybe .....Carry-on up the "kyber-pass" of karate?
( please note "kyber-pass" is cockney rhyming slang)

Or carry-on kata?

or carry-on camping-it-up ?

[lssanjose]

I'm not a fan of rehearsed or given hits. They're afraid of looking bad.. that's all.

[crazyjoe380]

I dropped a dog on a Karate guy and knocked him out..


True story.. suckas for faint punches..

[Nick]

...

Damn, I'm so lucky to have found the instructor that I did. From all these stories, it seems like it's next to impossible to find a good Karate instructor.

Later...

[Guest]

Funnily enough I don't think it wold take much to make Karate one of the best self defence arts.

Firstly, train the specialised hand strikes (palm heel, knife hand, finger jabs etc), knees, elbows and low kicks.

Secondly, train in a more fluid manner, forgetting traditional blocks.

Thirdly, hit pads and bags to develop power.

Fourth, forget Kata and walking up and down the dojo.

Fifth, definitely forget that "we don't hit first" nonsense.


Then it could be worth something.

[platinum_angel]

but then of coarse it wouldn't be karate would it.

[brokenelbow]

Oddly enough

Funnily enough I don't think it wold take much to make Karate one of the best self defence arts.

"Firstly, train the specialised hand strikes (palm heel, knife hand, finger jabs etc), knees, elbows and low kicks."
Check, also traditionally conditioning of these tools was mandatory using makiwara, sheafs of grass tightly wrapped in canvas and rope, plunging spear hands into buckets of sand to strengthen and toughen the fingers. And yes they did hit heavy bags.

"Secondly, train in a more fluid manner, forgetting traditional blocks."
It's called tai sabaki and it's something that gets forgotten these days. As for traditional blocks, I'm guessing you mean the basic down block, high blocks, etc., even shotokan and TKD contain very practical ones. Why they don't get taught here in the states more I'll never know.

"Thirdly, hit pads and bags to develop power. "
See first above about conditioning.

"Fourth, forget Kata and walking up and down the dojo."
Kata are just fine, not understanding or just going through the motions is a complete waste of time.

"Fifth, definitely forget that "we don't hit first" nonsense."
That's not all karate. Many intercept just fine.

"Then it could be worth something."
Well then I guess it's worth something.

[CHOKE UK]

Originally posted by platinum_angel
but then of coarse it wouldn't be karate would it.

Exactly !

Oh and dont forget to give it a change of name too !

[Lizard]

These mostly seem to be variations on "You're not attacking right". If you are going to make karate practical for self defence you mustn't forget to include some proper ground fighting and grappling. I think it should be called "How to beat the shit out of people". As a practitioner of Muay Thai I also don't like the idea of dropping your arm to belt level when performing a move. Broken elbow what do you mean by practical blocks?