The Brutality of it...

[EmptyneSs]

What are you trying to tell us?

nothing we dont already know.

[bOoRadley]

Oh okay, you busted me...I'm a gay man, I'm steeped in gayness...in fact I'm employed as fluffer for the gay adult film industry! There now it's out in the open...pheeeeew, I feel so much better!

Now I can just sit back and wait for the flood of private messages from all the macho closet cases on this site who want to roll around on the mat with me

[SamuraiGuy]

First of all... PM SENT!!!!

(That was a joke, dont get too excited).

Second of all, Jackson Square is in Canada, close to where I live, and no one is waiting around the Bicycle rack, but there are people who get stabbed in the throat by complete strangers in the middle of the day there (this actually happened, someone just randomly stabbed someone in the throat). And many other things like that.

its that Canadian governemnet of mine promoting violence, and yeah.. must be it...

[Sagacious Lu]

Second of all, Jackson Square is in Canada, close to where I live, and no one is waiting around the Bicycle rack,

I was referring to the Jackson Square in the French Quarter in New Orleans. There are always (or at least there were before Katrina, now I don't know) a bunch of gutter punks hanging out there. Boo misunderstood my post though, I used to hang out with sometimes; that's actually where I met my ex-girl friend

[treelizard]

Why would you treat two guys waiting to cross the street as a threat? Why would you assume they were going to talk to you? Why would it be bad if they did want to talk to you? It sounds to me like they were waiting for you to pass so that the road would be clear for them to cross. Even if they did want to talk to you why wouldn't you assume they just needed directions, or the time of day, or something similarly harmless and mundane?

Okay, Lu, I have to tell you about this really funny thing that happened to me today that reminded me of your analysis. I was driving home after going out for breakfast when I realized that I was finally beginning to master the art of driving stick after a week and a half of wanting to bang my head against the dashboard. I mean I was able to consistently start from a complete stop without going too slow and stalling or too fast and squealing. I was so excited about this that I decided to test it out and see if I could stop and start smoothly ten times in a row. So I pulled up on my street, stopped, started, stopped, started, stopped, started, and then I see this woman who obviously was getting uncomfortable by me being there.

I mean it was kind of funny because if it wasn't for the fact that it was, like, 10 AM, I could totally relate to her, after all the memories of getting followed by cars going very very slowly, so I figured if I just rolled down my window and told her I was learning stick she would laugh at me and understand. So I rolled down my window and this woman got in a stance. I kid you not. She like got in her martial arts stance. As if that's going to protect her from a 2-ton vehicle (if I had any intent of causing harm) not to mention any of the weapons I could be carrying... I mean if she felt so threatened, why didn't she run away instead of standing there in a stance?!

I was about to tell her I was just trying to learn how to drive and she put on her best tough voice (obviously scared of little ol' me ) and said, "Go ahead" as if a car stopping in the middle of the street and talking to someone on the sidewalk is sort of like bumping into someone in the hallway.

My explanation of why I was starting and stopping fell on deaf ears, so I just ignored her and kept "driving" for a few more minutes... *sigh*

So yeah, I know what yer talking about!!

[Sagacious Lu]

So yeah, I know what yer talking about!!

LOL... Every now and then you see people like that that are just wound way too tight. It's a little insulting when someone is afraid of you like that, but mostly it's just funny. Then again the first time the buzzer on my new drier went off I was taking a nap and it startled me badly enough that I charged into the laundry room with a ball-bat in my hand before I realized what it was... which is more than a little silly when you think about it

[treelizard]

LOL... Every now and then you see people like that that are just wound way too tight. It's a little insulting when someone is afraid of you like that, but mostly it's just funny.

I wasn't really insulted, I just thought, who the hell taught her self-defense? Doesn't she know it'd be more effective to run in the bushes and take cover than to attempt an MA stance against a moving vehicle? I mean, really!!

Then again the first time the buzzer on my new drier went off I was taking a nap and it startled me badly enough that I charged into the laundry room with a ball-bat in my hand before I realized what it was... which is more than a little silly when you think about it

That IS funny--that poor drier! What did it ever do to you?

[treelizard]

P.S. I forgot to say that if people ran into the bushes whenever I drove my car down the road, I probably *would* be offended. lol

Oh and also, I forgot to say, that she got home safely, so she did the right thing.

[Sagacious Lu]

P.S. I forgot to say that if people ran into the bushes whenever I drove my car down the road, I probably *would* be offended. lol

Oh and also, I forgot to say, that she got home safely, so she did the right thing.

Well, yes, and I don't mean to brag but I did successfully stop the unruly household appliance from assulting me in my easy chair

[treelizard]

Must be all that martial arts training! Time and money well spent!!!

[Tom Yum]

LOL... Every now and then you see people like that that are just wound way too tight. It's a little insulting when someone is afraid of you like that, but mostly it's just funny. Then again the first time the buzzer on my new drier went off I was taking a nap and it startled me badly enough that I charged into the laundry room with a ball-bat in my hand before I realized what it was... which is more than a little silly when you think about it

Its silly indeed, but when someone's stalking you that's another matter.

For instance if I see someone parked in my parking lot who I know for fact holds hostilities, I tend to think that's a good indication that I need to take action whether it be legal, documentation or personal protection.

Boar, Mike and Darrian all dudes who've been to hell and back seem to take the avoidance first policy when it comes to violence and I think that wisdom speaks volumes.

But what do you do otherwise?

[treelizard]

Its silly indeed, but when someone's stalking you that's another matter.

For instance if I see someone parked in my parking lot who I know for fact holds hostilities, I tend to think that's a good indication that I need to take action whether it be legal, documentation or personal protection.

Boar, Mike and Darrian all dudes who've been to hell and back seem to take the avoidance first policy when it comes to violence and I think that wisdom speaks volumes.

But what do you do otherwise?

The problem with always thinking that your neighbors and household appliances are about to attack you is that you are always very very tense. Not only will this cause all kinds of health problems and emotional problems, it's also very draining energetically, not to mention the fact that it will hurt you in a fight. You need to have a relaxed awareness. If you cannot be aware and relaxed at the same time, you've got a lot of work to do. Trained fighters (in sports--boxing, MMA, etc.) look very relaxed even when they're getting hammered... I'm not sure how many arts teach this but it's always something I look at when I'm sitting in on a dojo. Are people tense, or relaxed? You fight how you train... Of course I think you need to be able to both be relaxed and be explosive, but I'm always amazed at how much emphasis there is in so many different unrelated arts on this. Like in Muay Thai when they say your leg needs to be loose during your blocks, as one recent example... Ninjutsu does a lot on this too--the most advanced stance is the open stance, they teach. It's good stuff. The difference between breaking a board and (trying to) break a hose.

[treelizard]

Also I was going to add that there's a difference between thinking, "Hmmm, that's odd!" when there's a car in the middle of the street, and between getting into a stance. If your adrenaline is rushing because of something that's not even a real threat, that is a problem. See the book On Combat.

This is something that I've struggled with in the past and had to work on really gradually... one trick I played with myself was when some bum came up to me I'd try to figure out whether or not they were gonna ask me for change or ask me for my number, and then sort of learn to read from body language or subtle energy (for lack of a better term) what kind of "feel" there was to the approach. Afterwards I'd analyze the situation as critically and analytically and unemotionally (detached) as possible and this improved my ability to pick up on factors I may not have noticed before. The goal was to move away from "OMG THAT MAN IS FOLLOWING ME!" to "Wow, that person's walking around kind of funny. Wonder what's going on. I'm going to make space and see...oh wait, is that a cell phone? No wonder he's pacing around like that."

I try to look at accident scenes and figure out what happened before I got there. I'm not convinced of my explanations but that kind of analytical thinking is EXACTLY what is called for in a real life encounter.

I was getting followed once while walking home from work late at night (flat bike tire and no patch kit at work) and because of practicing this I was able to make good decisions that put me in a more strategic position (tactically), whereas if I had just panicked, I'm pretty sure I would have just ran (and both the ways I could have "run" home were very bad strategically--one was an underpass/tunnel (no way to cross the street) and the other was by a very busy street where it would've been impossible to cross the street or get anywhere as well with all the speeding cars going by. I was on foot and Dude was on a bicycle so both of these locations were really bad choices.

I remember once upon a time getting in bike tug-of-war with some crackhead when I almost walked out into the middle of traffic trying to get away. I was tunneled out.

Something about FMA seemed to help me with these types of situations...

[treelizard]

One more thing is that I think like Lu said (or whoever it was) bad guys can really smell fear and the more you are afraid (that's the universal YOU not referring to any person) the more you will be a target or manifest the types of situations you are pretending that you are trying to avoid (when in reality you probably want them to repeat over and over again so you can get whatever "comfort" you can out of your victim mentality and repeating cycles, etc...

In addition, if you think the guy on his cell phone or your washing machine are threats, you will likely be focusing on them and not see the REAL threats if there are any.

Also if you think everyone is out to get you, you will likely alienate a lot of people who could be your friends. And I've seen mostly women do this, yelling "BACK OFF" at the guy who just wants to say hi. Etc.

[Garland]

If that type of aggressive approach alienates people...Bas Rutten must not have many friends.

(this is funny...Bas is such a joke-ster.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNXRInrSSVU&search=nhb