true stories.

[Tant01]

Yesterday I was nearly hit head on by a guy in a white ford station wagon, maybe a mercury? He was drifting into the opposing lane as he tried to use his cell phone right in front of me!

Does DEFENSIVE driving count? I'll tell you one thing. Those airbags go off and I'm going temporarily INSANE. They can call it road rage or murder but I'm going "Garland" on their ass.

No shit.

[Garland]

true story- I'm so poor that I can't afford a new punching bag...so I had to duct tape phone books to a tree...

[treelizard]

true story- I'm so poor that I can't afford a new punching bag...so I had to duct tape phone books to a tree...

Poem I found yesterday:

The State of the Economy by Louis Jenkins

There might be some change on top of the dresser at the back, and we should check the washer and the dryer. Check under the floormats of the car. The couch cushions. I have some books and CDs I could sell, and there are a couple big bags of aluminum cans in the basement, only trouble is that there isn't enough gas in the car to get around the block. I'm expecting a check sometime next week which, if we are careful, will get us through to payday. In the meantime with your one-dollar rebate check and a few coins we have enough to walk to the store and buy a quart of milk and a newspaper. On second thought, forget the newspaper.

[Tom Yum]

true story- I'm so poor that I can't afford a new punching bag...so I had to duct tape phone books to a tree...

That's ok. Let's start a thread about cheap training methods? Cheap diets?

Been there, bro.

[treelizard]

http://www.rosstraining.com/articles/lowtechhigheffect.html

[Garland]

That's ok. Let's start a thread about cheap training methods? Cheap diets?

Been there, bro.

I would NOT suggest the phone book thing...everything I hit it with (knees, elbows, forearms, fists, shins, feet, insteps) hurt like hell...and are pretty badly bruised.

How the fook do those kyokushin guys do shit like this???
I've been SLAMMING strikes into this thing (except for my shins, I go about 75%...I don't want to cripple myself). My hands are all cut up and bleeding and shit. In order to keep motivated, I drew one of the old waiters at the restaurant with a speech bubble "water tables white boy!"...that's kept me going.

I dunno...maybe if I keep going my bones'll get stronger...I doubt it...that wolff's law thing seems fishy...but there's no alternative right now for me...
it's the phone books, the bare tree...or somebody in my family.
somethings gotta get hit- the phone books are the best option for me at this point.

[Garland]

...true story...today I ate a cheeseburger at a greek restaurant...

I've been fighting to keep it down all day.

[Garland]

Post Script -
They did not have the audacity to press charges for the damage to their vehicle. I'm sure this was inspired by the Police officer's statement, which went something like, "You stupid Motherfuckers! You brought that on yourselves, and I have no pity on you at all! None!"

I love our city's police force...

Glad to hear it! Our society is too fucking litigious...it's getting to the point where if a guy tries to rob your home, you get sued for drawing a gun on him!

Glad to know the cops somewhere are doing their part.

[Garland]

I had a pretty good one the other day, but it's only good from the story point of view. As an example of "what to do" it's awful. Just absolutely abysmal in every way. Still, if I can't embarrass myself here, what's the point of being a member?

We have had a ring of illegal Mexican immigrants ripping us off on a weekly basis.

They've all been good leads, based on the list, and so we took to profiling (yeah, that's right - I said it, we're profiling) in order to catch the ones we don't know by name.

They had a getaway car positioned for a quick exit, but it stalled, so now I'm dealing with this prick and his chola girlfriend (as well as two others who were waiting in the car) sitting there in a stalled car.

I wanted these buggers out of the car, so I resorted to the race card. I started calling them every racial name I could think of. I wanted the guy to get mad enough to get out and try to fight - I really did.

I pulled out my handcuffs and commenced to breaking any piece of glass I could reach. I smashed the back windows and windshield, and kicked off the driver's side mirror before he finally got the car started and took off.

I don't know if all that will come to $500, but it made me feel a little better, and it made the car easier forthe cops to find.

I later learned that several (read: dozens) of mall patrons had called the cops on me for screaming racial epithets at these "poor shoppers" and smashing up their car.

I guess I'm glad so many people took an interest in protecting the four of them from little old me (?),

(yes, I would have tackled/hit the chick),

jail, and possibly to La Migra for an "interview" and a hearing.

the God of War was smiling on me that day, and it all worked out.

JESUS CHRIST!!! ... I feel like giving you a hug. Thanks for your candor...This story makes me smile on the inside.

It's in the language you tell the story that makes this one a particular gem... if you don't mind I abridged my favorite passages...

[jeff5]

Okay, guess its time to share. Here's my one street fighting experience.

This happened around 10 years ago now. At the time I was training mostly in Boxing, Kickboxing, some JKD etc.

Some of my employees and I were walking back from dinner. One of my employees somehow got into a fight with a guy. (As I looked back on the incident I think this moron caused it actually) Well this guy had several friends. So they wind up getting aggressive and starting to jump in. Meanwhile myself and a couple other guys who work for me are trying to stop the fight.

Well before I know it, this dumb ass comes to try and hit me. Now let me extrapolate on that a bit. When I say "try to hit me", this idiot took like a jumping step at me and cocked back his arm. He was so slow and telegraphic (to me), that I was able to see it, and hit him with a full right cross. I remember him falling back, but I don't know if he was back in it or out of it after that.

After that it was kind of a blur. Even right after the fight I didn't remember much. All I remember is his buddy hitting me from my right side, then I started to go wild and throw punches etc. I don't remember much of that part at all.

Next thing I knew, me and about 4 or 5 guys were falling down into someone's gang way. I got up, they got up, then they all started to pound on me. The only thing I could do at that point was a boxers double cover so that I didn't get my face beat in. Then after a few seconds, they ran away.

Again, I don't remember much, but I must have done something to these guys for all of them to start beating on me. Also, I went to go pick up my keys and one of the guys was standing there. I was like its cool man its over. He was like GET AWAY FROM ME JUST GET THE **** AWAY FROM ME!!! I was like...what did I do lol.

So that's about it. I got a bit of a bloody nose, a headache the next day, but no bruises or serious injuries.

I think I learned a few things. First, I don't try to stop fights. I'm either in a fight or out of it. If I'm out of it, I call the cops. If I'm in it, I go full bore. Period. Second is that multiple attackers is a fairly difficult scenario. I'm confident that against one, untrained individual, I could handle myself pretty well. Start adding people and the difficulty ramps up pretty quickly.

What's funny is that after the fight happened I was like I should have done this, could have done that, and wasn't really sure that I used my trianing. But when I really looked back I think I accounted for myself fairly well, and I actually did use a lot of the techniques I learned. Its just that the fancy schmancy stuff kind of went out the window, and I pretty much relied on basic attack and defense. (big suprise I know =P)

That's my story for what its worth!

[jeff5]

Good question Mike. I think more sparring would definately help. Also training situational awareness and multiple attacker scenarios.

[WildWest.]

Jeff,

Good call. You don't need too much sparring though as how long does a street fight last?? Certainly not a 3 minute round. The "sparring" you should do needs to be alive, without all the heavy bag gloves crap (MMA type are sweet though) and realistic. Use dialogue as an instigator too. Having your training partner yelling at you "are you looking at my girlfriend you muthafucker!!!!!!!" helps a hell of a lot in replicating real life situations.

There are many more layers to this but I am but a novice in RBSD so I'm sure Mike can help you a hell of a lot more than me.

[Garland]

"are you looking at my girlfriend you muthafucker!!!!!!!"

To this you respond by rolling your eyes, and saying, no sweetie...I was looking at you...ditch the whore and let's have some fun.

Or just straight up sucker punch the chick. And drag mr. Iwanna beaman
out by his greasy ass hippy hair and pretend to ride him like a pony at a kid's show in front of his drunk friends...to show off for your more hardcore, drunk and armed friends.

[Garland]

true story...

it's really, REALLY fucking hot today...
and I feel like a latino on May 6th.
and I am currently sweating alcohol out of all my pores...
whilst praying to the porceline god.

[osopardo]

true story- I'm so poor that I can't afford a new punching bag...so I had to duct tape phone books to a tree...

Wow! you can afford duct tape?!? I usually hold the phone book up with one hand and hit it with the other....