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A few of the recent threads here and on other forums have gotten a great deal of ideas and concepts swimming in my head so I felt it best to write them out and share them. I understand that we all view things from diffrent perspectives here and that is why this is a discussion board. I thought I would put them forward for the forums to view so that we could get diffrent perspectives on these things. If the whole world saw everything the same way it would be a very boring place. So instead of just talking about what to do IN a fight I decided to think on what to do to AVOID a fight, since a fight won without fists knees and kicks is much better for all than one that lands several people in the ER. So with out further ado here I go..................................................................................................
The first step in any SD situation should be to attempt to deescalate the encounter. I have had this idea on my mind for quite awhile and have decided to start a thread on people's ideas of how to deescalate an SD situation or defuse it so it does not come to blows.
First and foremost let me point out that awareness in the most important tool in any situation SD or otherwise. You should always be aware of your surroundings and the people around you.
Second some SD situations are unavoidable and cannot be stopped with anything less than violence equal to the violence perpetrated by the assailant. Such as a mugging, a home invasion, or a rape.
Now as noted above awareness is a key ingredient in any SD situation, If you are aware of what is going on around you, you can be prepared for most altercations. If you are in a parking lot make sure to be aware of the cars around you. Don't daydream or stare at the ground while walking. The fact that there may be moving vehicles around you alone should be enough for you to pay attention.
The time of day does not dictate when altercations will occur. Muggings can happen any time of day. People have been kidnapped in broad daylight. So awareness is a full time job.
Most situations have precursors before the attack. Such as the examples we have heard of people harassing you in a club or other public place. You have to remember that you really have no idea what your assailants is willing or ready to do to you. Most situations start with verbal abuse and "smack talk".
Remember as a civilized adult talk is just that talk. People can say whatever they want to you. Most of the time talk serves two purposes for an assailant.
1. It helps them to ramp themselves up, or "pump" themselves up to attack you. Kind of like self motivation, getting geared up for the fight they hope to provoke.
2. It is meant to intimidate you and disarm you. They hope to get you angry so you will throw the first punch at them. This will cause problems for you since verbal abuse is not seen as a good reason to attack anyone, especially by Law Enforcement. Saying
'He was talking about my wife/girlfriend, or momma" is not going to put the Law on your side should you attack someone. And throwing the first punch without being threatened with a weapon or attacked by Lawful definition is assault.
The initial response to someone "talking smack" should be to ignore them and attempt to remove yourself from the situation. This does not always work in that some assailants are persistent and will follow you.
Let me clarify here that leaving to a place with less people in it i.e. going to your car in a parking lot. Is a bad idea. People are less likely to attack you when others are around. Just walk away but never let your assailant out of your sight. Turning your back is never a good idea in a potentially volatile situation.
This does not always work however. If attempting to remove yourself from the situation is not an option or the assailant follows you, then your next step should be to seek the proper help. In clubs and bars it is always a good idea to approach security and advise them of the situation. You have to do this professionally because security doesn't care who started it and it is always going to have two sides to any story. Saying things like "Hey man this mutha fucka came up and started talking shit to me now he won't leave me alone....."
Or "I'm gonna knock this asshole out if you guys don't do something first." Are not ways to endear yourself to security.
Things like "Excuse me Sir I was just over there minding my own business having a drink with some friends when this gentleman came up and began verbally harassing me. I have no problem sorting out what is going on with him however he seems extremely irate at the moment."
Also offering to leave the club while security keeps the assailant under a watchful eye so that you can make it to your vehicle safely is a good suggestion and normally accommodated by security in most clubs.
If on the street it is a good idea to find the nearest LEO or an establishment where you can reach one from. This in no way makes you less of a man or a "pussy" as the term is used. This makes you an intelligent human being.
Another way of handling a situation before it becomes violent is to try and verbally assuage the assailant. Using words to disarm an assailant is I feel one of the safest forms of defense you have just behind awareness. It's called being the bigger man. Let's say you are out somewhere and a guy feels that you have been "eying his girl" which seemed to be very common when I was bouncing.
Comments like "Get over yourself man. she doesn't look that great" or "F*ck off who'd want to look at that skank" are not methods to avoid physical confrontation.
Things like "I apologize if you thought I was doing that Sir, you obviously have a lovely lady there,but I was just staring into space."
or "I apologize if it seemed that way but I would never disrespect another man by doing that." Using a polite and friendly tone when saying these things can usaully provide someone with the information that you are NOT looking for a fight. If the situation continues to escalate which it may being that some people just like to start fights for the hell of it you may still have a chance to cancel out the argument with talk.
Saying things like "I'm sorry I'd rather this not turn physical" or "We both really don't want any trouble, we're all here just trying to have some fun." are examples of things to say in these situations.
Some situations are going to escalate no matter what you say or do into a physical confrontation. There are unfortunately people who go out just to pick fights. It's a matter of personal judgment as to when something is going to come to blows. Remember though throwing the first punch can paint you as an assailant in most SD situation. Law enforcement in most states do not warrant verbal abuse as means to attack someone. There is a very gray area in that respect however and once again I understand that if someone feels cornered or in trouble you must react to a situation. Being in front of a judge is better than being in front of THE judge.
However in these situations it has been pointed out by various members on this forum that body language and posture of your assailant can tell you what may be coming. Awareness of these things are keys to help you react to an attack. If someone throws up their "set" or takes a stance or guard I feel that ius enough to tell me how committed he is to wanting physicality and there fore I will react to this with a defensive movement. Defensive doesn't necessarily mean guarding from an attack sometimes the best defense is a good offense. Just like in chess if you open with the wrong piece it may not take an opponents piece off the board but you may have just set yourself up for a loss with that one move. Most of us here train and can understand that concept without elaborating. Besides that's why we have threads and not posts that no one can reply too.
Now these are all just general concepts and a vague shading of ideas and situations. It is good to think through and train for many types as well as discuss them. That way when the pop quiz comes in the real world you are already prepared to deal with it. It's hard to get the answer from someone else when a gorilla is breathing down your neck.
It is always better to try to avoid a confrontation rather than provoke it. People can say what they want about your character and "bravery" but many brave people have been killed in the street for not handling something in a logical and sensible way. If you make it home alive and in one piece evryday I count that as a victory more so than if you arrive home via the ER. Some situations cannot be avoided but we all know fighting is violent and harmful to everyone involved and avoiding the situations we can makes us all better martial artists and fighters.
The first step in any SD situation should be to attempt to deescalate the encounter. I have had this idea on my mind for quite awhile and have decided to start a thread on people's ideas of how to deescalate an SD situation or defuse it so it does not come to blows.
First and foremost let me point out that awareness in the most important tool in any situation SD or otherwise. You should always be aware of your surroundings and the people around you.
Second some SD situations are unavoidable and cannot be stopped with anything less than violence equal to the violence perpetrated by the assailant. Such as a mugging, a home invasion, or a rape.
Now as noted above awareness is a key ingredient in any SD situation, If you are aware of what is going on around you, you can be prepared for most altercations. If you are in a parking lot make sure to be aware of the cars around you. Don't daydream or stare at the ground while walking. The fact that there may be moving vehicles around you alone should be enough for you to pay attention.
The time of day does not dictate when altercations will occur. Muggings can happen any time of day. People have been kidnapped in broad daylight. So awareness is a full time job.
Most situations have precursors before the attack. Such as the examples we have heard of people harassing you in a club or other public place. You have to remember that you really have no idea what your assailants is willing or ready to do to you. Most situations start with verbal abuse and "smack talk".
Remember as a civilized adult talk is just that talk. People can say whatever they want to you. Most of the time talk serves two purposes for an assailant.
1. It helps them to ramp themselves up, or "pump" themselves up to attack you. Kind of like self motivation, getting geared up for the fight they hope to provoke.
2. It is meant to intimidate you and disarm you. They hope to get you angry so you will throw the first punch at them. This will cause problems for you since verbal abuse is not seen as a good reason to attack anyone, especially by Law Enforcement. Saying
'He was talking about my wife/girlfriend, or momma" is not going to put the Law on your side should you attack someone. And throwing the first punch without being threatened with a weapon or attacked by Lawful definition is assault.
The initial response to someone "talking smack" should be to ignore them and attempt to remove yourself from the situation. This does not always work in that some assailants are persistent and will follow you.
Let me clarify here that leaving to a place with less people in it i.e. going to your car in a parking lot. Is a bad idea. People are less likely to attack you when others are around. Just walk away but never let your assailant out of your sight. Turning your back is never a good idea in a potentially volatile situation.
This does not always work however. If attempting to remove yourself from the situation is not an option or the assailant follows you, then your next step should be to seek the proper help. In clubs and bars it is always a good idea to approach security and advise them of the situation. You have to do this professionally because security doesn't care who started it and it is always going to have two sides to any story. Saying things like "Hey man this mutha fucka came up and started talking shit to me now he won't leave me alone....."
Or "I'm gonna knock this asshole out if you guys don't do something first." Are not ways to endear yourself to security.
Things like "Excuse me Sir I was just over there minding my own business having a drink with some friends when this gentleman came up and began verbally harassing me. I have no problem sorting out what is going on with him however he seems extremely irate at the moment."
Also offering to leave the club while security keeps the assailant under a watchful eye so that you can make it to your vehicle safely is a good suggestion and normally accommodated by security in most clubs.
If on the street it is a good idea to find the nearest LEO or an establishment where you can reach one from. This in no way makes you less of a man or a "pussy" as the term is used. This makes you an intelligent human being.
Another way of handling a situation before it becomes violent is to try and verbally assuage the assailant. Using words to disarm an assailant is I feel one of the safest forms of defense you have just behind awareness. It's called being the bigger man. Let's say you are out somewhere and a guy feels that you have been "eying his girl" which seemed to be very common when I was bouncing.
Comments like "Get over yourself man. she doesn't look that great" or "F*ck off who'd want to look at that skank" are not methods to avoid physical confrontation.
Things like "I apologize if you thought I was doing that Sir, you obviously have a lovely lady there,but I was just staring into space."
or "I apologize if it seemed that way but I would never disrespect another man by doing that." Using a polite and friendly tone when saying these things can usaully provide someone with the information that you are NOT looking for a fight. If the situation continues to escalate which it may being that some people just like to start fights for the hell of it you may still have a chance to cancel out the argument with talk.
Saying things like "I'm sorry I'd rather this not turn physical" or "We both really don't want any trouble, we're all here just trying to have some fun." are examples of things to say in these situations.
Some situations are going to escalate no matter what you say or do into a physical confrontation. There are unfortunately people who go out just to pick fights. It's a matter of personal judgment as to when something is going to come to blows. Remember though throwing the first punch can paint you as an assailant in most SD situation. Law enforcement in most states do not warrant verbal abuse as means to attack someone. There is a very gray area in that respect however and once again I understand that if someone feels cornered or in trouble you must react to a situation. Being in front of a judge is better than being in front of THE judge.
However in these situations it has been pointed out by various members on this forum that body language and posture of your assailant can tell you what may be coming. Awareness of these things are keys to help you react to an attack. If someone throws up their "set" or takes a stance or guard I feel that ius enough to tell me how committed he is to wanting physicality and there fore I will react to this with a defensive movement. Defensive doesn't necessarily mean guarding from an attack sometimes the best defense is a good offense. Just like in chess if you open with the wrong piece it may not take an opponents piece off the board but you may have just set yourself up for a loss with that one move. Most of us here train and can understand that concept without elaborating. Besides that's why we have threads and not posts that no one can reply too.
Now these are all just general concepts and a vague shading of ideas and situations. It is good to think through and train for many types as well as discuss them. That way when the pop quiz comes in the real world you are already prepared to deal with it. It's hard to get the answer from someone else when a gorilla is breathing down your neck.
It is always better to try to avoid a confrontation rather than provoke it. People can say what they want about your character and "bravery" but many brave people have been killed in the street for not handling something in a logical and sensible way. If you make it home alive and in one piece evryday I count that as a victory more so than if you arrive home via the ER. Some situations cannot be avoided but we all know fighting is violent and harmful to everyone involved and avoiding the situations we can makes us all better martial artists and fighters.
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