"I don't hit girls"

[Ryo]

Hello.

I’ve been taking TKD for the past two years, but have recently switched to a more advanced class. Instead of beating up small children, I am now surrounded by my peers. However, this has presented some problems.

The other students don’t always take me seriously.

They all seem to have morals about “not hitting girls” (which I can understand...outside the dojan). However, it’s extremely frustrating during sparring practice when they refuse to hit me or (almost worse) barely touch at all. Sparring becomes a game of “tap tag” in which I put forth full effort and am returned with lame half-attempts.

Despite how many times I’ve asked them not to go on easy on me, they still do. Anyway I can convince them to spar against me as an equal?

[EmptyneSs]

my first advice is to leave tkd. thats ur 1st problem right there. but other than that, when it comes time to spar the only thing u can really do to make people respond harder is to fight harder.hit em hard and furious to the point were they will need to fight back harder or face being beaten up instead.

[Tant01]

my first advice is to leave tkd. thats ur 1st problem right there. .

That was not her question....


Ryo asks "Anyway I can convince them to spar against me as an equal?"


You are not equal, you are a female so you have the advantage of being the "opposite" sex. Try sparring with other girls? They won't have that problem.

[gregimotis]

my first advice is to leave tkd. thats ur 1st problem right there. but other than that, when it comes time to spar the only thing u can really do to make people respond harder is to fight harder.hit em hard and furious to the point were they will need to fight back harder or face being beaten up instead.

Yes, I'm going to have to agree... Unless someone is much better than his/her opponent, the only way to prevent an aggressive opponent from beating you up is to become more aggressive yourself. In other words, give them a choice: "either hit me enough to back me off, or get used to getting chased around the ring by a girl" -of course, put a smile on your face and don't act like a jerk while you do it - you don't want a death match after all.



You should also discuss the problem with your instructor for two reasons:

Firstly, it's going to hold you back from improving, and if your instructor doesn't take that seriously then you may need to find one who will.

Secondly, he may not be aware of what's happening. You don't want him to mistake your new strategy of increased smack-down as poor sportsmanship.



Lastly (gulp) - I don't know about your gym, and I'm not trying to start trouble with the TKD folk on this board, but: TKD (I studied TKD at three different gyms over four years) has a lot of pretty mediocre schools in the U.S.. You may be one of the many martial artists who have outgrown the McDojo scene with it's super-light sparring and 'This technique is too dangerous for us to really practice' attitude. It might be time for you to find something a little more hardcore.

[Yuri]

Kick their ass and they won't go easy on you anymore. If it's not allowed in the dojo, invite them somewhere to spar, and kick their ass there.

[Ryu (JKD?)]

In all seriousness, just bring the topic up with your partners and your instructor. You'll all find a way to handle it. It's an applaudable moral for men not to strike a lady. It should be an important moral to society, however this is training, and they are (supposedly) helping you to defend yourself against those who will hit a lady.
So some clear communication I think is the key.

[koto_ryu]

In all seriousness, just bring the topic up with your partners and your instructor. You'll all find a way to handle it. It's an applaudable moral for men not to strike a lady. It should be an important moral to society, however this is training, and they are (supposedly) helping you to defend yourself against those who will hit a lady.
So some clear communication I think is the key.

A good misplaced low kick once or twice to their nuts might convince them to go a bit harder on you as well

[Ryo]

I'll bring it up again. Thanks for all the advice.

[EmptyneSs]

u just need to beat on them more. once u pop em real good a few times, they will get over not being able to hit a girl real fast. knock em around and dont feel bad because women need to fight harder than men do when thay are attacked, so u will be getting the most from your training. also, if u really want to spar and learn to fight well and efficiently, leave tkd and join a kickboxing gym that lets u spar often.

[Whispers]

also, if u really want to spar and learn to fight well and efficiently, leave tkd and join a kickboxing gym that lets u spar often.

Why the knock on TKD sparring? Why not ask her about how her school spars before assuming they don't go full speed or full contact? And why the assumption that you can't learn to fight efficiently or well with TKD? Their have been numerous people on this site and others who've stepped forth with personal stories about how they've successfully defended themselves using TKD.

I understand there are alot of mcdojo's out there in TKD, karate and kung-fu, but there are good schools as well, just as there poor kick boxing schools. This women doesn't seem to come from one of them. notice how what she said implies that they were using full and heavy contact when sparring in her basic class and she didn't encounter a problem with people not going full speed until the advanced class. That leads be to believe that they're training and hitting realisticly so more than likely tae kwon do isn't her problem, her male peers lack of respect is.

And Mame, if this is the case and them not being willing to go full speed/power is the only issue, just hit them until it hurts. I used to have a problem going full contact with women, until my instructor put me up against a women half my size who left me limping for about a week. After that first blow not getting hit outweighed my culturally ingrained bias.

[gregimotis]

I understand there are alot of mcdojo's out there in TKD, karate and kung-fu, but there are good schools as well, just as there poor kick boxing schools. This women doesn't seem to come from one of them. notice how what she said implies that they were using full and heavy contact when sparring in her basic class and she didn't encounter a problem with people not going full speed until the advanced class. That leads be to believe that they're training and hitting realisticly so more than likely tae kwon do isn't her problem, her male peers lack of respect is.

Well said. I suspect that most of the anti-TKD feelings on this board are really anti-McDojo. It's a shame that TKD (and Kung-fu for that matter) has been so badly abused by profit-over-substance schools and semi-competant instructors.

[EmptyneSs]

the reason i said that was because kickboxing type sparring is much less restricted than tkd. kickboxing type sparring were u go for rounds and can strike anywere, anyway u want is much better than point sparring, or not being able to hit certain places.

one of my good friends is a 2nd degree blackbelt in tkd, and after 13 years of training and teaching tkd, he walked into my mma school, saw how we train in boxing and muay thai for like 15 minutes, and ended up quitting his job and training in tkd so he could join my gym a few days later.

[Ryu (JKD?)]

A good misplaced low kick once or twice to their nuts might convince them to go a bit harder on you as well

True.

Ryu

[Maven]

If they don't hit girls...ask them if they mind getting beat up by them.

[Garland]

Where do you train???!
That's proposterous. One of my ex-girlfriends used to be a kyokushin and muso-kai practitioner, and her whole dojo would wail on her despite the fact that she was a girl, even to the point of having her shoulder dislocated.
Whenever I train with girls, I treat them no differently than anyone else...okay...that's a lie. I always focus on the opponent's chest and hip area to tell where a strike is coming from, with a female opponent I usually suspect that they'd get a bad impression from this. Grappling is also a little akward, but, hey...if I'm going to feel comfortable getting that close to a guys ass going into a shoot or a takedown...also feels awkward, but there's less of a chance of the guy getting a wrong impression.
I will trade blows with a girl in sparring, but I won't try and actually fight them, just like anyone else I'm sparring...they'll get hit, but I'm not out for blood.
Grappling's a little different, when you grab a girl you barely know, or even one you know a little from training...it just seems out of place, you never know when you might do something, accidentily touch or throughout going through the motions of a drill, that would offend or come across the wrong way. i.e. go in for a shoot and have them think your a grab ass or economizing on the drill to grope, or if you accidentily brush a breast...I just try and stay extra careful and show a little more restraint.
Also, what type of guy would I be if I placed a choke or a joint lock on a girl with the speed and strength I'd do with a guy?...outside of striking, I think it's necessary to show a little more caution when working with most girls, then you would a typical guy.
Now if a girl is a bit more muscular and has good intensity, so long as I don't come across as a grab ass I'll train all out. Just like if they bring in a smaller guy, or someone who looks like they're just going through the motions, I won't give the scenario as much as I can.