Concerned Father

[nordmann]

I Agree

SmallThought, you sound as if you have a healthy outlook on life. Whenever I meet anyone new, I always at least act as if I believe they are a wonderful person. This at least gives them an opportunity to fulfill that expectation. This is an opportunity that many young men need, because most young men are fighting an uphill battle against a society that tends to view them as highly suspect and primarily for potential use as cannon-fodder unless they are either from an aristocratic family or are spectacularly gifted.

When I was a young man in West Philadelphia, I felt the almost constant rejection that young males of modest financial means face from nearly everybody other than perhaps their families. The police pulled me over pretty much every week or two for no reason other than my car was all rusty and beat up because I couldn't afford anything better. Dating prospects were pretty much non-existent because it's hard to hide the fact that you're struggling to pay the rent, and not many women are interested in men who are financially challenged. Just a little acceptance--even just a smile from a stranger--was like rare gold to me back then. What a difference age and nice clothing makes.

And mind you, I'm a white boy! I wouldn't want to even know what the experience is like for a black or latino man in the spot I was in, but I've seen a bit of it because many of my best buddies at that time were black. At least when I got pulled over by the police, they didn't drag me out of my car and beat me up for no reason. (Well, OK, they did once--but only once, and they didn't really give me the full treatment they reserved for my black friends.)

So yeah, I'll welcome whomever approaches my daughter with open arms, at least until I have reason to change that stance. But I have a pretty good sense for people, and in the unlikely event that my daughter allows into her presence a boy who refers to her in derogatory terms and views her as a disposable object for his momentary diversion, I will invoke the very-rarely-seen despot with hands of steel that I become only when my kids are in danger.

[cakegirl]

Mike, as a soon-to-be new mother, your post made me melt!

[SmallThought]

Thanks for your words of support, Nordmann.

Mike: congrats on the young tyke... you're obviously smitten!

Cakegirl: good luck with the new bub!

[Tom Yum]

Mike, I'm only able to imagine the feelings you are going through - but your writing conveys what I'd imagine fatherhood to be like.

Good stuff!

[Jace]

I don't know the last time I saw people with eyes that looked so very much alike.


That is an adorable picture. I still have a while before I'll be looking at being a parent, but I'm okay with that. I don't want to rush it or rush through it when it does happen.

[Tom Yum]

Beard is lookin' good Mike

Thanks for reiterating what I've believed; that you should take your time before settling down. Some guys do it young and manage to live happy, long marriages with their wives - but it just seems right to mature into the person you need to be before the engagement.

As I imagine, finding that special person kind of just happens in the blink of an eye; its not something you can actively look for.

[tellner]

Bill Engvall said it better:

Bill Engvall: I know my daughter's sixteen, and she's sitting in her room, on the computer, listening to music, and little boys are calling, oh my God. We had a kid call the house at two in the morning. Oh yeah, I lost it. First of all, I'm in La-La Land with Shania Twain up in the mountains somewhere. I hear a phone ring, and I'm like, 'Who's got a phone up in the mountains!' Finally I realized it was my phone, so I'm already ticked, and I go, 'Hello!' And this little boy goes, "Uh, is Emily there?" 'Dude! If you've got a brain in your skull, you will hang up this phone right now!' My wife goes, 'Bill! You gotta be nice!' No ma'am! Nice stops at midnight! She goes, 'what are you gonna do when these boys come over to our house?' Oh, I'll tell you what I'll do! I'll pull the young lad in close, so only he and I can hear the conversation. And I'll say, 'Look at me boy! Look at me! You see that little girl, over there? She's my only little girl, man. She's my life. So, if you have any thoughts, about hugging, or kissing, you remember these words: I've got no problem going back to prison!'