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The question here on this board that everyone keeps skirting around is “ why the average untrained women will not take a Self Defense and Awareness Course, or train long term in a martial art?
What I would like to do here is allow everyone on this board to list the three top reasons they think women do not or will not train.
Understand I have a good idea where the misconceptions are within this board because I have read everything on it in this section. I will talk about some of the reasons things are as they are here before I give the reasons I found that the average women does not train. However, I will not list the reasons until after everyone here that wants to participate in this string has done so frist by listing there top 3 reasons woman don’t take SDA or train long term.
However, I would frist like to make sure this board understands fully where the answers are coming from and how these answers were gained.
This will take a bit of explaining so I ask that you have patients. In addition, Please if you do not have patients then do not bother to read this or be part of the string. This is not about confrontation but about being open enough to learn something.
Its important to understand that when I started asking this question it was based on trying to change a cycle. The cycle that I am working on to help, change is the cycle of violence that we deal with in society today. I know this is a grand sort of want and wish to be able to accomplish something that seems such a large task. However, I do not think It has to be that hard to really change or at least start to change the cycles from getting worse to bringing understanding and then answers as to how to change it.
Unfortunately, it is not always about deciding if your going to become a victim or not. Sometimes Long-term conditioning and examples as we grow up have more to do with wether we will allow ourselves to be victims or if we will fight back and refuse to become one.
Changing negative examples or negative cycles happens when others start doing, the doers are the ones in the world that bring positive social change. Moreover, its mostly just from them doing and showing the example of how they did it that the change comes about in society and in people. The positive change in others happens mostly because someone else has set an example for others to look at and see and then they can go “ hey…. How come that dude could do that and I cant” i.e. Motivation” to “ you know what I bet I can do that.” Once they have investigated how the example was made.
On the other hand, we have to look at the realties of what happens because of the negative examples that we give to kids now just based on what we do and do not do. In addition, telling them other then what we are actually doing makes us liars to them.
Moreover, it seriously tells them that regardless of what we say, we are doing otherwise, and the otherwise is ok regardless of what we tell them because flat out we are doing the opposite.
Even if your not an abuser or your not giving mixed message at home the fact that most people dont go out and make a statement or go and try and change things again tells our youth that its ok anyway regardless.
Furthermore, in a childs mind, if it were not the case the people that love them would be making sure they are trying to change it. Children see parents as protectors, If a child sees you deny the state of society and its issues then it is easy for the child to grow up doing the same. This in turn just incorrages the cycles instead of breaking them
Example One: i.e. you are a wife that has two boys and a daughter, all are under the age of five and the family has been domestic violent throughout their childhood to date. Each day you as the child gets to watch mommy allowing the abuse and listen to her apologizing to you each day it happens, stating that its not daddy’s fault he is either just sick or what ever the reasons she gives to the children that allows him to be abusive. In addition, in most cases she will then assure the children that the behavior is ok because daddy still loves all of us regardless of the abuse.
What are we telling children by this example?
70% of all Domestic violence victims were victims of the same at childhood, this means men and woman. The difference is how the long-term effect of the abuse comes out based on the gender differences. Over Half the children of these kinds of relationships, grow up either being abused or being the abuser all of which just re-occurs the cycles of violent crimes.
Example Two: In society today we give ourselves, are children, and the world huge mixed messages when it comes to sex, sexuality, and what is sexually acceptable. We as people allow these messages to be given to children just by allowing them out there.
Furthermore, assuming responsibility is not the strong point of the American people. We just blame everyone else instead of standing up and trying to change it. Thus teaching children its about blaming others and not taking responsibility for our actions. We use every excuse in the book to facilitate living in our own personal denial states because it’s just flat out easer for most to do so.
We tell kids do not have sex and wait until they are adults and get married or have a sexually monogamous relationship, because if you dont, you might get pregnant, or you might die of aides.
Then we flood the market with sex drugs, we advertise how we are not having enough sex and that we have to take drugs now to make sure we are getting enough sex because we are sexually deprived. Even though we are dying like flies and producing, children faster then our economy can support them.
Each day I think to myself Ok so who is behind trying to kill the human race off by convincing us that we might die but its ok because overall we need to have more sex regardless of dieing? Because it is not about living anymore it is about having sex, and sex is more important then living.
Each day this question comes to my mind when I open my email. Each day I get hundreds of emails trying to make my dick bigger or tell me that I am not having enough sex and I have to take drugs to do so, or i have to take to have a fulfilling sex life. That or advertisements for anti depression drugs to make me happy because I am depressed because I am not getting enough sex.
Then I get flooded by it on TV, radio and in my PO Box. Company is trying to sell me viagra and depression drugs.
Furthermore, it is being sold to both genders through our mass media. I heard a radio add recently where the woman just told her female friend who was depressed because she no longer is interested in having sex with her partner, how good her sex life had become recently because she started taking the drug and now she cant stand to be in the same room with a man without wanting to just rip off his cloths and get intimate.
Ok now this is radio and it was in he middle of the day, not only in the middle of the day it was broadcasted at 4pm. Just the time kids are coming home from school and are alone in most cases. Many of our children will do one of two things when they get home. Turn on the TV or tune on the radio.
Tell me something is this false advertising? Alternatively, do men have the same experience with the drug? Furthermore, can they control themselves or are they like this woman on the radio who is dying to have sex to the point of only thinking about how fast they can get the cloths off the other person? In addition, how is it associated to how men feel about if a woman says no if, they are on the drug?
In addition, is the drug that strong that it is going to stop him from forcing issue if she says no? In addition, will we start having rape cases where men are using the drug as an excuse to rape woman on the streets?
Remember this one-day we will see a million dollar suite against one of these companies from someone involved in a viagra rape case.
(Note I am generalizing here to make a point and I am asking the question as I have because I have no clue how effective this drug really is, also based on the add and how it was presented I am afraid to take the drug because I might start ripping dudes cloths off in public if I took it.)
NOTE: The reason Hitler was able to do what he did in such a large mass scale was because of the mass media he used to condition and control people to follow him and his presented examples.
Life in the united states is now based on sex, it is no wonder that children, men and woman are confused as to what their rolls are within society and what to do with sex? We glamorize rape, then we tell children not to let themselves be raped” but in glamorizing the behavior we are at the same time conditioning our children to be acceptant of the behavior, it teaches them its ok"
“ It is said that 70% of all rapists were victims of sexual or abuse related violent crimes as children.”
People sometimes look at me and tell me that kids are not stupid and they know the difference from right and wrong. I look at them mostly and tell them flat out that You have to be kidding me how can they know what is right or wrong when they are learning that its ok to do what ever they want based on the examples we has human beings are setting for them?
To really find out why woman were not training, in 1998 I started sending out questionnaires to all kinds of woman. The average woman, woman that had taken a class in SDA, women that had not. I sent out questionnaires to programs for woman that are in existence via the shelters, I asked questions to victims of said crimes via the same type of institutions. Every year I send out or put out a new set of questions to ask woman throughout the global community.
Then wile questioning woman between the years of 98 and 2002, I trained, and took SDA and MA programs all around the world to find out if what woman were telling me was real or just perception. I went in to all classes pretending to be a level one student with no training and no history, with all the questions and problems a level one student can bring to a class. I spent my time testing programs, pushing their techniques and asking questions on the floor so I could understand fully why woman don’t train.
Some of what women claimed made sense, and some if it turned out to be misconceptions based on the fallacies we have in our society now that state martial arts means self defense.
Without sounding sexist, the fact is 98% of all SDA programs are taught and designed by men that believe they understand what a woman needs and wants in training.
98% of all traditional or realty based martial arts systems are developed and designed by men for men. Same thing with the traditional core arts, with training in theses arts based on combat for men against men that took place in some instances nearly 400 to 1000 years ago.
How does all of this relate to why woman do not train? Because it is the daughters we raised 10, 20 and 30 years ago that are the woman now we are trying to train. The daughters and young woman now are going to be raising more woman and men in the next generation. These same women are going to be setting the examples to there children at home. These children will grow into men and woman that will have acceptability levels based on the examples they are given growing up now.
It is interesting but my general opinions are not always accepted graciously by most strong feminine organizations. Mostly this is because I hold woman more responsible for why and how children grow up and turn out because we as woman have the real power and responsibility with raising our children. We are the ones that have throughout time responsible for nurturing and raising our children. We are the ones that spend the most time with our children or use to be the ones that did so. Because of this fact, it is our raising of them and the examples we set at home for them that will mold who they become.
Its interesting though most men I have questioned have not really sort of gotten the real reason yet why woman don’t want to train. The one top reason for why a woman does not train in either a self-defense class or a martial arts class, based on what they have stated has little to do with not wanting to sweat. (As is the seemingly general opinion of men why they dont)
So I would like the men here on this board to be my test study’s, give me your top 3 reasons why you believe woman in general don’t train in SDA or ma?
Afterwards I will tell you what I learned and found out via my life, and then 6 years of serious R&D. before these 6 years of dedicated R&D, I started protecting and teaching when I was 17. From then on, I spent a lifetime training others and protecting others for a living.
The clients I guarded, I also trained in core SDA to be sure they understood what to do incase I ate it out there or was injured. That is when I frist started teaching core SDA concepts. In addition, I assure you, the SDA I taught them had little or nothing to do with traditional Martial arts concept. What was taught to my clients then is still taught to them now and is based on awareness, de-escalation, escape and survival tactics with less then 10 basic core physical techniques, which now fall into the realm of level one JKD techniques.
All education my clients received or receive from me is based on the needs of the clients and the environment they will face. I have worked for a number of different types of people men or woman who were either entertainers, dancers, escorts in the SF bay area to protecting domestic violence victims some with and some without children and to the extreme of a case where clients were trying to stay alive out in the middle of the woods with no help from the police.
Note: 70% of all dm death happens after the client has tried to leave at least once or has left fully.
Ms J. Castro
Lifetime Student-CEO FATE
What I would like to do here is allow everyone on this board to list the three top reasons they think women do not or will not train.
Understand I have a good idea where the misconceptions are within this board because I have read everything on it in this section. I will talk about some of the reasons things are as they are here before I give the reasons I found that the average women does not train. However, I will not list the reasons until after everyone here that wants to participate in this string has done so frist by listing there top 3 reasons woman don’t take SDA or train long term.
However, I would frist like to make sure this board understands fully where the answers are coming from and how these answers were gained.
This will take a bit of explaining so I ask that you have patients. In addition, Please if you do not have patients then do not bother to read this or be part of the string. This is not about confrontation but about being open enough to learn something.
Its important to understand that when I started asking this question it was based on trying to change a cycle. The cycle that I am working on to help, change is the cycle of violence that we deal with in society today. I know this is a grand sort of want and wish to be able to accomplish something that seems such a large task. However, I do not think It has to be that hard to really change or at least start to change the cycles from getting worse to bringing understanding and then answers as to how to change it.
Unfortunately, it is not always about deciding if your going to become a victim or not. Sometimes Long-term conditioning and examples as we grow up have more to do with wether we will allow ourselves to be victims or if we will fight back and refuse to become one.
Changing negative examples or negative cycles happens when others start doing, the doers are the ones in the world that bring positive social change. Moreover, its mostly just from them doing and showing the example of how they did it that the change comes about in society and in people. The positive change in others happens mostly because someone else has set an example for others to look at and see and then they can go “ hey…. How come that dude could do that and I cant” i.e. Motivation” to “ you know what I bet I can do that.” Once they have investigated how the example was made.
On the other hand, we have to look at the realties of what happens because of the negative examples that we give to kids now just based on what we do and do not do. In addition, telling them other then what we are actually doing makes us liars to them.
Moreover, it seriously tells them that regardless of what we say, we are doing otherwise, and the otherwise is ok regardless of what we tell them because flat out we are doing the opposite.
Even if your not an abuser or your not giving mixed message at home the fact that most people dont go out and make a statement or go and try and change things again tells our youth that its ok anyway regardless.
Furthermore, in a childs mind, if it were not the case the people that love them would be making sure they are trying to change it. Children see parents as protectors, If a child sees you deny the state of society and its issues then it is easy for the child to grow up doing the same. This in turn just incorrages the cycles instead of breaking them
Example One: i.e. you are a wife that has two boys and a daughter, all are under the age of five and the family has been domestic violent throughout their childhood to date. Each day you as the child gets to watch mommy allowing the abuse and listen to her apologizing to you each day it happens, stating that its not daddy’s fault he is either just sick or what ever the reasons she gives to the children that allows him to be abusive. In addition, in most cases she will then assure the children that the behavior is ok because daddy still loves all of us regardless of the abuse.
What are we telling children by this example?
70% of all Domestic violence victims were victims of the same at childhood, this means men and woman. The difference is how the long-term effect of the abuse comes out based on the gender differences. Over Half the children of these kinds of relationships, grow up either being abused or being the abuser all of which just re-occurs the cycles of violent crimes.
Example Two: In society today we give ourselves, are children, and the world huge mixed messages when it comes to sex, sexuality, and what is sexually acceptable. We as people allow these messages to be given to children just by allowing them out there.
Furthermore, assuming responsibility is not the strong point of the American people. We just blame everyone else instead of standing up and trying to change it. Thus teaching children its about blaming others and not taking responsibility for our actions. We use every excuse in the book to facilitate living in our own personal denial states because it’s just flat out easer for most to do so.
We tell kids do not have sex and wait until they are adults and get married or have a sexually monogamous relationship, because if you dont, you might get pregnant, or you might die of aides.
Then we flood the market with sex drugs, we advertise how we are not having enough sex and that we have to take drugs now to make sure we are getting enough sex because we are sexually deprived. Even though we are dying like flies and producing, children faster then our economy can support them.
Each day I think to myself Ok so who is behind trying to kill the human race off by convincing us that we might die but its ok because overall we need to have more sex regardless of dieing? Because it is not about living anymore it is about having sex, and sex is more important then living.
Each day this question comes to my mind when I open my email. Each day I get hundreds of emails trying to make my dick bigger or tell me that I am not having enough sex and I have to take drugs to do so, or i have to take to have a fulfilling sex life. That or advertisements for anti depression drugs to make me happy because I am depressed because I am not getting enough sex.
Then I get flooded by it on TV, radio and in my PO Box. Company is trying to sell me viagra and depression drugs.
Furthermore, it is being sold to both genders through our mass media. I heard a radio add recently where the woman just told her female friend who was depressed because she no longer is interested in having sex with her partner, how good her sex life had become recently because she started taking the drug and now she cant stand to be in the same room with a man without wanting to just rip off his cloths and get intimate.
Ok now this is radio and it was in he middle of the day, not only in the middle of the day it was broadcasted at 4pm. Just the time kids are coming home from school and are alone in most cases. Many of our children will do one of two things when they get home. Turn on the TV or tune on the radio.
Tell me something is this false advertising? Alternatively, do men have the same experience with the drug? Furthermore, can they control themselves or are they like this woman on the radio who is dying to have sex to the point of only thinking about how fast they can get the cloths off the other person? In addition, how is it associated to how men feel about if a woman says no if, they are on the drug?
In addition, is the drug that strong that it is going to stop him from forcing issue if she says no? In addition, will we start having rape cases where men are using the drug as an excuse to rape woman on the streets?
Remember this one-day we will see a million dollar suite against one of these companies from someone involved in a viagra rape case.
(Note I am generalizing here to make a point and I am asking the question as I have because I have no clue how effective this drug really is, also based on the add and how it was presented I am afraid to take the drug because I might start ripping dudes cloths off in public if I took it.)
NOTE: The reason Hitler was able to do what he did in such a large mass scale was because of the mass media he used to condition and control people to follow him and his presented examples.
Life in the united states is now based on sex, it is no wonder that children, men and woman are confused as to what their rolls are within society and what to do with sex? We glamorize rape, then we tell children not to let themselves be raped” but in glamorizing the behavior we are at the same time conditioning our children to be acceptant of the behavior, it teaches them its ok"
“ It is said that 70% of all rapists were victims of sexual or abuse related violent crimes as children.”
People sometimes look at me and tell me that kids are not stupid and they know the difference from right and wrong. I look at them mostly and tell them flat out that You have to be kidding me how can they know what is right or wrong when they are learning that its ok to do what ever they want based on the examples we has human beings are setting for them?
To really find out why woman were not training, in 1998 I started sending out questionnaires to all kinds of woman. The average woman, woman that had taken a class in SDA, women that had not. I sent out questionnaires to programs for woman that are in existence via the shelters, I asked questions to victims of said crimes via the same type of institutions. Every year I send out or put out a new set of questions to ask woman throughout the global community.
Then wile questioning woman between the years of 98 and 2002, I trained, and took SDA and MA programs all around the world to find out if what woman were telling me was real or just perception. I went in to all classes pretending to be a level one student with no training and no history, with all the questions and problems a level one student can bring to a class. I spent my time testing programs, pushing their techniques and asking questions on the floor so I could understand fully why woman don’t train.
Some of what women claimed made sense, and some if it turned out to be misconceptions based on the fallacies we have in our society now that state martial arts means self defense.
Without sounding sexist, the fact is 98% of all SDA programs are taught and designed by men that believe they understand what a woman needs and wants in training.
98% of all traditional or realty based martial arts systems are developed and designed by men for men. Same thing with the traditional core arts, with training in theses arts based on combat for men against men that took place in some instances nearly 400 to 1000 years ago.
How does all of this relate to why woman do not train? Because it is the daughters we raised 10, 20 and 30 years ago that are the woman now we are trying to train. The daughters and young woman now are going to be raising more woman and men in the next generation. These same women are going to be setting the examples to there children at home. These children will grow into men and woman that will have acceptability levels based on the examples they are given growing up now.
It is interesting but my general opinions are not always accepted graciously by most strong feminine organizations. Mostly this is because I hold woman more responsible for why and how children grow up and turn out because we as woman have the real power and responsibility with raising our children. We are the ones that have throughout time responsible for nurturing and raising our children. We are the ones that spend the most time with our children or use to be the ones that did so. Because of this fact, it is our raising of them and the examples we set at home for them that will mold who they become.
Its interesting though most men I have questioned have not really sort of gotten the real reason yet why woman don’t want to train. The one top reason for why a woman does not train in either a self-defense class or a martial arts class, based on what they have stated has little to do with not wanting to sweat. (As is the seemingly general opinion of men why they dont)
So I would like the men here on this board to be my test study’s, give me your top 3 reasons why you believe woman in general don’t train in SDA or ma?
Afterwards I will tell you what I learned and found out via my life, and then 6 years of serious R&D. before these 6 years of dedicated R&D, I started protecting and teaching when I was 17. From then on, I spent a lifetime training others and protecting others for a living.
The clients I guarded, I also trained in core SDA to be sure they understood what to do incase I ate it out there or was injured. That is when I frist started teaching core SDA concepts. In addition, I assure you, the SDA I taught them had little or nothing to do with traditional Martial arts concept. What was taught to my clients then is still taught to them now and is based on awareness, de-escalation, escape and survival tactics with less then 10 basic core physical techniques, which now fall into the realm of level one JKD techniques.
All education my clients received or receive from me is based on the needs of the clients and the environment they will face. I have worked for a number of different types of people men or woman who were either entertainers, dancers, escorts in the SF bay area to protecting domestic violence victims some with and some without children and to the extreme of a case where clients were trying to stay alive out in the middle of the woods with no help from the police.
Note: 70% of all dm death happens after the client has tried to leave at least once or has left fully.
Ms J. Castro
Lifetime Student-CEO FATE
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