I ran, and I'm proud of it

[SanDan]

Best Technique

This was possibly the best technique you could have used. I've been teaching Rape Awareness and Prevention for quite sometime and I always teach, "run when you can." Life is much to short to try to be a hero. I would have to say that you got very lucky with the groin kick. Many instructors teach women to strike the groin, which is a vital area. However, just as father's teach their daughters this method, so do father's teach sons to protect this area. I'm glad you're safe.

[Ahsen]

I ran away from My attacker and i'm a male with some martial arts background
Its the best moves you can do,

...and further more I'm proud of it as well.


I think its stupid for some people just laughing at someone, runing way in a situation, not knowing exactly what it was.

[Tom Yum]

What was it? Did they chase you with a stick of butter...jj?

[osopardo]

Originally posted by hikickinchick
Any advice from anyone on what else I could start doing? Basically all I've got so far are front kick, and low roundhouse....any ideas for anything that would actually work against an opponent?

First of all, I'm very happy that you were able to come out of that experience unharmed and I congratulate you in keeping your head. You've just had a valuable lesson in reality fighting without having to pay the usual price.

Secondly, understand that whether it seemed so or not your training and involvement in martial arts did help you deal with the situation effectively (remember, your friend was frozen with fear, you were not).

Your techniques, BTW, were perfectly legitimate, standard self defense (sudden attack, then run) so you should be very proud. And don't you dare ever give the vermin "fair warning". They're expecting a helpless girl, use that against them.

I remember reading an article by Frank Benn a few years back entitled "The Myth and the Math" wherein he makes the point that if you associate number values to every part of your body and your opponent's body it helps to clarify your course of action.
For instance, I'm a 6'2, 235 lbs. male; my fist probably rates an 8 while yours is a 4 - you lose. However, no matter how big and strong I am, my eye will never be more than a 1 against your thumb nail, a 5 - I lose. You do the rest of the "Math"...

Consider that one of the most valuable self defense techniques is awareness and common sense. (Now you know!)

Arm yourself. I know you cant carry weapons, but you should have a nice sharp pencil in your hand when you're alone (after all, you just came out of math tutoring).

As for further training in self defense, you should relate this incident to your MA instructor if you haven't already done so and press him for more self defense training, even at the expense of "sports" techniques. Be firm and persistent in your request, don't accept a couple of self defense sessions and then back to the old routines. A good instructor will respond to your concerns or risk losing you as a student. The more you train, the more familiar you will become with techniques that will eventually become "flinch reactions".

And finally, check out Paxton Quigley. Her books, and website will offer you a lot of support, ideas and guidance.

http://www.paxtonquigley.com/

[Tom Yum]

On America's Most Wanted, they showed the re-enactment of an attempted rape.

A woman was taking a shower in her home, when a guy (some guy she met at a club) stalked her. He snuck in, tackled her and started raping her. When he finished, he picked her up by her neck and started strangling her to try and finish her off.

She kicked him in the solar plexus which staggered him, then pushed him to the ground and ran for help.

She escaped alive. No women deserves this chit, but she survived. Women's self defense is different than a mans IMO. Women have to be able to use leverage and striking against a stronger opponent if she can't run away.

I highly recommend muay thai, judo, jujitsu or one of the modern systems like shredder (maybe all of them) for self-defense.

[LittleDemon]

Hey everyone so what new and whats hot? whats are we discussing at the moment and where the hell are we in what were talking about lol im completely thrown here.

lol Em

[mrniceguy148]

Re: I ran, and I'm proud of it

Hi highkickinchick,

I’m glad to hear that you were able to get out of this situation safely. However having said that, and based on what you’ve written, I see three things that you did here which seem to have made the situation more dangerous than it needed to be:

1). You seem to have misunderstood what these guys were trying to do. First of all it doesn’t seem to me that those guys had any intention of forcing you to do anything that you didn’t want to do……..at least not then and there. Those guys were probably just feeling you out to see if you could be intimidated into agreeing to go someplace else with them. Although, who knows what they might have tried had they gotten you to another location. Understand, if these guys really wanted to hurt you then they would have probably skipped the chit-chat and just bum-rushed you right there. The seem to have had the perfect opportunity if they wanted to act on it.

2). You seemed to have panicked because you didn’t understand what these guys were trying to do, and as a result you (not them) were the one who turned a touchy situation into a violent one. When you kicked the guy in the groin you almost guaranteed that you would have a fight on your hands, and I would think that violence would be the last thing that you would want to have happen in this situation. Instead, your first priority should have been to preserve the peace at all costs, and it’s damned hard to keep the peace after you’ve just kicked a guy in the groin without good reason and in a situation where you’re outnumbered and undersized. You were very lucky to have escaped without getting beaten up!

Understand, I have a real problem with so called “preemptive strikes” because most of the time they’re completely unwarranted; and, in fact, a criminal act . For example, about six years ago my sister-in-law actually kneed me in the groin quite severely during an argument -- and she did it right in my own home no less! She kneed me because I dared to put my hands on her and she just assumed that I was about to hit her. However, the fact of the matter is that if I intended to actually attack my sister-in-law (or any other women for that matter) then I’d never have given her a clear shot at any of my vulnerable arias -- including my groin. I’m sure the guy who you kicked would say the same thing In this case you were probably in the wrong!

3). You said:

“I kept my eyes open and started slowly moving backwards towards the school and away form the bleachers……..”

In this case you could have saved yourself a lot of aggravation by just briskly walking straight for the school; and without stopping to explain yourself and without making eye contact. This would have forced them into having to make a hurried decision as to weather they wanted to try to gang tackle you or just let you walk away. Chances are they would have let you go. When you’re in a situation like this you never want to volunteer any information about yourself because the miscreants will always find a way to use your words against you, and the longer you hang around and talk the more gullible they think you are. That’s why I say that whenever you smell trouble the best thing for you to do is to just look straight ahead, zip the lip and walk away as fast as possible. The longer you hang around the more trouble you’ll be making for yourself!

I know it probably seems like I’m being hard on you but realize that I wasn't there and I can only go by what you've told me. Nevertheless, I have to admit that you probably handled this situation better than I could have when I was your age. However, in the future I’d advise you to just be sure that you know what you’re doing before you decide to haul off and kick another guy in the groin. The medical bills resulting from the time my sister-in-law kneed me in the groin came in at close to $5,000! Out of that my insurance company picked up about $3.500.…..and guess who picked up the remaining $1,500 co-pay? Yup! You guessed it! My sister-in-law got stuck with the whole co-pay! It was either that or else I would have pressed criminal charges against her!

My sister-in-law had studied self defense and now you’re taking TKD and hapkido. Be careful about how you use those skills because if you should ever injure someone without just cause than you could end up being sued or else you could land in jail! From what I hear the courts hold trained fighters to a higher standard. For that reason, the best advice that I can give you is to learn the self defense laws in your state because that’s how you’ll be judged in the event that you ever need to defend yourself again.

Good luck with your training and thanks for sharing your story!

Mr. Niceguy

[osopardo]

Re: Re: I ran, and I'm proud of it

Originally posted by mrniceguy148
Hi highkickinchick,

1). You seem to have misunderstood what these guys were trying to do. First of all it doesn’t seem to me that those guys had any intention of forcing you to do anything that you didn’t want to do……..at least not then and there.

2). You seemed to have panicked because you didn’t understand what these guys were trying to do, and as a result you (not them) were the one who turned a touchy situation into a violent one.

your first priority should have been to preserve the peace at all costs,

...about six years ago my sister-in-law actually kneed me in the groin quite severely during an argument -- and she did it right in my own home no less! She kneed me because I dared to put my hands on her...

I would have pressed criminal charges against her!

You sir, are an ass!

[Szczepankiewicz]

Once again, OSO has nailed it.

You're sister-in-law is a fool. If someone who outweighed me, and was obviously stronger than I was touched me in any way shape or form during a heated argument and I had reason to believe that I was in *any* danger, real or perceived, that reaction would have and *could* have been justified.

At NO TIME do you have the right to touch anyone without their permission. To do so sets you up for possible criminal charges yourself.

Your sister-in-law probably felt bad and wanted to avoid the legal expenses of taking her chances in court.


Who are you to be giving advice when you do silly shit like that?

your first priority should have been to preserve the peace at all costs,

What kind of Micky Mouse(tm) shit is that?

[Tom Yum]

If a stranger approaches with malicious intent, whom looks bigger or stronger, you do what you can to save your @ss.

A) Run if possible.
B) Get mideval, then run.
C) Kamikaze - i'm goin down and your going with me.

If you are outnumbered, you can still land good solid shots while outnumbered, even though you will likely get most of the beating.

Try sparring against 2 or 3 at the same time. Sure doesn't look like those aikido demonstrations

[Szczepankiewicz]

The Giant Phallus has spoken.

[Tom Yum]

You can call me Bigous Dickous, Holly Roman Emperor..hehe

[osopardo]

Originally posted by Szczepankiewicz
[B]Once again, OSO has nailed it.[B]

It's gettin' to where I just live for that kind of validation.

And as for all that other stuff you and Tom Yum said;
"My sediments egg-zagly!"

[mrniceguy148]

Originally posted by Szczepankiewicz
Once again, OSO has nailed it.

You're sister-in-law is a fool. If someone who outweighed me, and was obviously stronger than I was touched me in any way shape or form during a heated argument and I had reason to believe that I was in *any* danger, real or perceived, that reaction would have and *could* have been justified.

At NO TIME do you have the right to touch anyone without their permission. To do so sets you up for possible criminal charges yourself.

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Like I said earlier, the incident happened in my own home. It also happened after she wouldn't stop yelling at me after I'd repeatedly asked her to leave. Had I wanted to hurt her I wouldn't have given her the chance to get in the first shot, but instead I was trying to calm her down and placing my hands on her shoulders and pointing her to the door was not an act of agression on my part and I didn't deserve to get kneed in the groin because of it! Just because she claimed that she thought that I was going to hit her doesn't change the fact that she created the problem and she made it worse at every opportunity. Having said that, I could have avoided the whole mess by just calling the cops, and that's what I should have done.

Also, for the record my sister-in-law is about 5' 10" and 165LBS and she works out, while I'm 6'0" and 165LBS so it's not like I was towering over this patite little girl. Also, she's been taking self defense classes on and off most of her adult life and she also has a belt ranking in TKD. On the other hand at the time I had absolutely no training whatsoever. She should have known better! Now, how do you really think a jury would look at my situation?

_______________________________________

Your sister-in-law probably felt bad and wanted to avoid the legal expenses of taking her chances in court.

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You're absolutely right! She over reacted and she knew it. My wife comvinced her to pay my medical bills if I would drop the charges.

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Who are you to be giving advice when you do silly shit like that?

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Since this incident happened I've gotten some M.A. training and I've learned a lot about self fefense and judging by the things she said I could tell that this girl (highkickenchick) made some mistakes that made the situation worse and her actions seem to have increased the chances of her getting herself beaten up or raped. But then again, I wasn't there so who really knows.......but I thought that I'd already said that.


quote:
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your first priority should have been to preserve the peace at all costs,

What kind of Micky Mouse(tm) shit is that?

It's just common sense! Sorry if it doesn't pander to your lust for violence.

[mrniceguy148]

Re: Re: Re: I ran, and I'm proud of it

Originally posted by osopardo


You sir, are an ass!

Thanks for the kind words -- DICKHEAD!!!