What The F#*k Can I Do????????!!!!!!!!!1

[fanman.]

Yesterday after work I had planned to take three of my work buddy's to their houses on the way home. As we stepped out of the building, I noticed my automobile had been parked in by a highly modified sports coupe. I was pissed off and also wanted to impress my friends, so I keyed the car that had parked me in. We then boarded my vehicle. While I was hopeleslly trying to get out of my parking spot, a large man ran towards my automobile and started bashing on the windows, shouting such obseanities such as "WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO MY CAR???!!!", and "I'M GONNA BASH YOU GOOD!!!!!". Friend #1 said, "Hey, I know that guy. he's that Muay Thai champion!". Friend #2 said, "I know him too, he's a international BJJ champ!"
Friend #3 said, "And isn't he also an olympic sprinter?". My three friends quickily left the vehical and ran in fear. The big dude got in his car and chased me all the way home. I parked my car half on the foot path, half on the road, and ran into my house. I locked the door and barracadded it with furniture. The big dude was banging on the door and shouting many obscenitys for about an hour, then he must of stopped or left or something. But now he's after me, and I can't leave the house.

WHAT THE F#*K CAN I DO????????!!!!!!!!!1

[Bauer_Pauer]

Here's an idea...
Let him get you. Sacrifice yourself for the greater good: a world without fanman!

P.S. I thought you got banned, fatboy. What happened?

[m.artist]

a couple of things..i doubt ur friends were telling the truth,...they probly just said that to scare u...fight him if u have to ......but if not then just tell him it was a big misunderstanding, tell him u thought it was a friends car and offer to pay for the damage

[fanman.]

"P.S. I thought you got banned, fatboy. What happened?"

Yeah, Spanky tried to ban me but I just made a new account. I promise I won't say enything naughty this time, Spanky!!!1


"If your house has the old fassioned kind of windows why didnt he break the glass and lift them up. Or he could just break a new window, and crawl through. The doorhandle technqiue wouldnt work because you barricaded the front door, but did you baricate the back ?"

I have them security windows. I don't have a back door. And I can't leave the house!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or he'll get me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

P.S. I don't like you, BauerPaur, and I hope you D!I!E! sTOP STALKING ME!!!

[Bauer_Pauer]

I have gone over fanman's story many times since he first posted it, and I have unerathed a fatal, illogical flaw in it:

fanman says he went out with friends. fanman dosen't have friends. Instead, he has a constantly bleeding anus.

But I do believe this thing about keying cars. I know you live in my area fanman, so I have to ask you, and I need you to answer this honestly: was it you who keyed my black Chrysler two days ago? Remember, I can't get you if you say that you did, so feel free to tell the truth blubberguts.

Keying cars ain't funny, by the way. Do you know how much that is costing to get fixed?

[IPON]

Friend #1 said, "Hey, I know that guy. he's that Muay Thai champion!". Friend #2 said, "I know him too, he's a international BJJ champ!"
Friend #3 said, "And isn't he also an olympic sprinter?".

At least try to be consistant if you are going to lie. You couldn't move your car and you want people to belive that you were able to out run an olympic sprinter who happens to be a really large man

Personally you deserve to get your ass beat for keying somone's car-usually people move there cars in a few minutes. So take your prize reward for being king dumb ass.

[fanman.]

I dunno if i KEeyed youur car, pauer_bauer. I keyed so many i just don't know. Have u parked in frondof a red volvo sedan lately?? cause it mighta been u i keyed the oher day outside o' burger king the other day i think i got parked in by some big black bitch car. srry, but i had to key it dto geddid oudda da way.

[fanman.]

i didn't out run him, I out drived him

[IPON]

i didn't out run him, I out drived him

Well how did you out DRIVE him if he was blocking your car

So you want me to believe this guy had your car blocked, he runs over gets in his car to allow you to drive off so he can followyou to your home. Then when you get home you mystically out ran this guy got your keys out unlocked the door and shut it before he could catch you. Please leave the crack in the vials for the upstanding addicts in society.

[Bauer_Pauer]

YOU SERIOUSLY WERE THE ONE THAT KEYED MY CAR? I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE NOW! YOU'RE THAT ASSHOLE IN THAT CRAPPY VOLVO WHO LIVES 2 BLOCKS AWAY FROM ME! HAHAHA I KNOW YOU! YOUR CAR IS SO KEYED NEXT MORNING!

See you at Burger King, fatass. I'll be collecting what you owe me for the damage to my car.

[m.artist]

ya i want to know as well, cuz i figured his friends were lying when they said that and now this (apparently)fat guy is gonna get his ass kicked and i want to know if this is true...cuz it's funni as hell

[osopardo]

...Yeah, Spanky tried to ban me...

What?!? No way! Why would he do that?

[shadowkiller]

I would laugh my ass off if that happend.

[HuSanYan]

Yesterday after work I had planned to take three of my work buddy's to their houses on the way home. As we stepped out of the building, I noticed my automobile had been parked in by a highly modified sports coupe. I was pissed off and also wanted to impress my friends, so I keyed the car that had parked me in. We then boarded my vehicle. While I was hopeleslly trying to get out of my parking spot, a large man ran towards my automobile and started bashing on the windows, shouting such obseanities such as "WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO MY CAR???!!!", and "I'M GONNA BASH YOU GOOD!!!!!". Friend #1 said, "Hey, I know that guy. he's that Muay Thai champion!". Friend #2 said, "I know him too, he's a international BJJ champ!"
Friend #3 said, "And isn't he also an olympic sprinter?". My three friends quickily left the vehical and ran in fear. The big dude got in his car and chased me all the way home. I parked my car half on the foot path, half on the road, and ran into my house. I locked the door and barracadded it with furniture. The big dude was banging on the door and shouting many obscenitys for about an hour, then he must of stopped or left or something. But now he's after me, and I can't leave the house.

WHAT THE F#*K CAN I DO????????!!!!!!!!!1

roflmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa*!

[HuSanYan]

forgot to say, serves you right pal, what sort of person 'keys' someones car just because of bad parking??, I hope the guy gets you bad because you are an unpleasant adolescent