Stupidest techniques (NOT a poll)

[osopardo]

Being as how I'm older, wiser, hairier, more experienced than most of you pansies and wannabes, I've had numerous opportunities to be required to learn some really useless, stupid stuff along my martial path. Stuff that would make my father, who has always been an essentially practical man, laugh derisively. I'll share a few, just to get the ball rolling.

1. Spinning back anything (kicks, fists, elbows, whatever)
2. Empty hand gun disarms (such as they teach in KM)
3. Tornado kick

Feel free to join in and add your own. Or disagree, but you better be credible!

[Lizard]

Throws that require your opponents cooperation (I even encountered one of those in Judo)

Stances that allow you to be pushed over backwards, pulled forwards, kicked in the nuts, punched in the body, punched in the face (yes, its horse stance)

Any attempt to beat multiple armed attackers when running away would be a much safer and easier solution

Training to use weapons that arent even around any more, no matter how cool they are

Jumping moves

Moves that use chi (they dont work unless your a super saiyan)

[shuyun]

Being as how I'm older, wiser, hairier, more experienced than most of you pansies and wannabes, I've had numerous opportunities to be required to learn some really useless, stupid stuff along my martial path. Stuff that would make my father, who has always been an essentially practical man, laugh derisively. I'll share a few, just to get the ball rolling.

1. Spinning back anything (kicks, fists, elbows, whatever)
2. Empty hand gun disarms (such as they teach in KM)
3. Tornado kick

Feel free to join in and add your own. Or disagree, but you better be credible!

Context, it's all context. any move is useless in the wrong context. a sacrifice throw is a stupid move when applied to a sumo wrestler.

the guy has a gun pointed at you and will pull the trigger in the next second and you've got nothing on you, you're not gonna move?!

when an assailant points a gun at you and does not pull the trigger and is within striking range for about half a second it's fair game. Use a toy gun (with a bb pellet) have someone point it at you within striking range tell him to pull the trigger the moment he sees you move. Unless you're a sloth or something chances are you'd get a hit in before he pulls the trigger (it doesn't take a full second to pull of a right hook). Of course not all techniques are made equal in this situation. but with the right technique you don't need to be greased lightning to disarm a gun assailant (now if the assailant were a martial artist too that's a different story)

Throws that require your opponents cooperation (I even encountered one of those in Judo).

that' means you haven't mastered the throw! and besides the opponent cooperates with the throw for his own good. if he does not go with it he gets injured. And judo has no illusions of being the ultimate self defense art though it has applications. Jigoro Kano purposefully made it into a sport. He came from a jujitsu background.

Stances that allow you to be pushed over backwards, pulled forwards, kicked in the nuts, punched in the body, punched in the face (yes, its horse stance)

What dumbell would fight in the horse stance? It's a training stance used to strengthen the legs. But if you have good reason to use it i guess you know very well that you are vulnerable in those areas so why get hit in places you're expecting an attack in?

Any attempt to beat multiple armed attackers when running away would be a much safer and easier solution.

Running away, like when you're back is agaisnt the wall? Multiple attacker scenarios were designed for situations where you can't run anymore. Of course I'd run away if i had the chance but when the given is there is no way out whatya gonna do? Run? Run where?

Training to use weapons that arent even around any more, no matter how cool they are

you don't have the imagination to abstract weapon use in everyday items:

pvc and lead pipes can be staves
table legs and chair legs can be sticks or swords or clubs.
a chain can be used with nunchacku techniques

opportunities present themselves you need the right set of eyes to see it.

Jumping moves

jumping on a floored opponent is always nice.
a jumping knee kick to the face is such a nice greeting to a leg shoot

Moves that use chi (they dont work unless your a super saiyan)

all moves use chi! chi is not always the mystical thingee. chi in its broadest translation is breath or energy. You may not be cultivating it with deep breathing. you may have lousy chi but you have chi. A boxer's punch uses chi, a walking old man uses chi. A crying baby uses chi.

techniques we see today have survived because they had a history. They were once upon a time useful. the challenge is to find modern applicatioon to old techniques. put them in context once more.

there are no useless moves, only closed minded martial artists.

[Lizard]

Judo on the whole was excelent. But I swear to thee there was 1 move I encountered that REQUIRED the opponents cooperation. It was one of those arm pulling throws and it didnt work, much to my disapointment.

Ah memories of judo... we used to use the atomonagi as an excuse to kick each toher in the nuts... and some moron would always try to use their shoulder rather than their hip for ipponseonagi...

BUt I digress, use nunchaku techniques with a chain? why? from what Ive seen of nanchaku playing (I wouldnt call it fighting) most of the training is just there to look cool. Also traditional martial arts generaly dont teach you to use lead pipes and chairs, because those weapons arent traditional and using them doesnt look as impressive.

And you say we all have and use chi? what is chi? is it to do with kineasthetic ability? An increase in a particular neurotransmitter (forgotten which one? or is it some religious mumbo jumbo I wouldnt touch with a 10 foot clown pole?

[shuyun]

BUt I digress, use nunchaku techniques with a chain? why? from what Ive seen of nanchaku playing (I wouldnt call it fighting) most of the training is just there to look cool. Also traditional martial arts generaly dont teach you to use lead pipes and chairs, because those weapons arent traditional and using them doesnt look as impressive.

i don't train in nunchaku to look cool. as an attack i let it rest on my back and whack. if you're still comming where ever the chucks are whack again. the twirling and failing are control exercises and just methods of chambering rather than being strikes themselves. oh i can do the whole bruce lee shebang but what for? i use it like i would use a stick (somewhat) and what's cool about it is how a simple flick of the wrist can be as sharp as a chambered stick strike. the movements are actually more subtle. that's how i can use a chain.

And you say we all have and use chi? what is chi? is it to do with kineasthetic ability? An increase in a particular neurotransmitter (forgotten which one? or is it some religious mumbo jumbo I wouldnt touch with a 10 foot clown pole?

using physics and physiology to interpret chi it can be any of the following in a different context.

muscular strength (as in a direct strike)
shift of center of gravity (sinking of the chi in tai chi)
vectors (in the sense of power which can be directed and redirected in aikido, sticky hands, f a jing and push hands)
kirlian energy (the mystical mumbo jumbo that can be observed via a special photography technique)
increased ATP production in the cells (as in internal energy)
more oxygen in the blood (as in the ki for ibuki)
visualization aid (the colored energy we imagine to direct strikes etc.)

this de-mystification does not diminish the power of chi it just makes it more down to earth. It's not mystical just poorly explained.

don't blame the ancient masters, they could not observe it the way we do because they never had the vocabulary of sir isaac newton. But they saw what they saw and knew what they knew and recorded their observations using their limited knowledge. not bad, just incomplete.

E.g. we know 4 corners of the earth now to mean all over the world rather than actual corners but 4 corners still sound more romantic.

[Thai Bri]

Useless techniques....

Any kick practiced against thin air. You quite literally have to learn to do it wrong.

Any art whatsoever that says "if he does this, you do that" etc. etc. Fighting doesn't work like that. He will come at you and you will go at him. You're body will react subconciously, so all you can hope to do is hammer a few brutal basics into that subconcious reaction.

Each and every single Kata on the entire world.

Anything that can only be done in a large mated area whilst wearing pyjamas.


Thats enough to be going on with, an counts for about 99% of training out there.

[sherwinc]

Useless techniques....

Any kick practiced against thin air. You quite literally have to learn to do it wrong.

Any art whatsoever that says "if he does this, you do that" etc. etc. Fighting doesn't work like that. He will come at you and you will go at him. You're body will react subconciously, so all you can hope to do is hammer a few brutal basics into that subconcious reaction.

Each and every single Kata on the entire world.

Anything that can only be done in a large mated area whilst wearing pyjamas.


Thats enough to be going on with, an counts for about 99% of training out there.

i never kick on thin air, banana trunk is what i always destroy, cause i like the juicy that flows to my numerous kicking combinations......

i really like to kick banana trunk compare to a punching bags

[sherwinc]

Being as how I'm older, wiser, hairier, more experienced than most of you pansies and wannabes, I've had numerous opportunities to be required to learn some really useless, stupid stuff along my martial path. Stuff that would make my father, who has always been an essentially practical man, laugh derisively. I'll share a few, just to get the ball rolling.

1. Spinning back anything (kicks, fists, elbows, whatever)
2. Empty hand gun disarms (such as they teach in KM)
3. Tornado kick

Feel free to join in and add your own. Or disagree, but you better be credible!

i prefer Stand-Up Martial Arts compare to Grappling, Flight Fighting, etc.....

why?????

cause when i get older - i can no longer grapple, i can no longer flying kicks/jumpings kicks......

so, Stand-Up Fights with a very Low Stance is good for a people leading to his older ages.....

Note:
you cant do Grappling/TaeKwonDo in a speedier fashion if you reach the age of 55 years old......

[krys]

i never kick on thin air, banana trunk is what i always destroy, cause i like the juicy that flows to my numerous kicking combinations......

i really like to kick banana trunk compare to a punching bags

Banana tree are perfect for training.... they give about the same resistance as human bodies...

Whenever i can (unfortunately there aren't any where i live most of the time) I use them for kicking, and cutting with blades... you can train how to pull out the blade out of the tree it will feel closely the same way as if you pull it out of a human body....

[CKD]

Sherwinc

You can practice grappling until you are very, very old. Check out Helio Gracie. He is like 91 and still practicing. Kano practiced it until his death. Grappling is something you cab practice all your life. Jumping kicks you can't but I can only think of a few arts based off that.

[Bjjexpertise@be]

Useless technique...
I recall when I was in TaeKwonDo our instructor told us that if your opponent snaps your head down, you pull back and head butt them in the stomach.
Trust me, doesn't work.

[Lizard]

i don't train in nunchaku to look cool. as an attack i let it rest on my back and whack. if you're still comming where ever the chucks are whack again. the twirling and failing are control exercises and just methods of chambering rather than being strikes themselves. oh i can do the whole bruce lee shebang but what for? i use it like i would use a stick (somewhat) and what's cool about it is how a simple flick of the wrist can be as sharp as a chambered stick strike. the movements are actually more subtle. that's how i can use a chain.



using physics and physiology to interpret chi it can be any of the following in a different context.

muscular strength (as in a direct strike)
shift of center of gravity (sinking of the chi in tai chi)
vectors (in the sense of power which can be directed and redirected in aikido, sticky hands, f a jing and push hands)
kirlian energy (the mystical mumbo jumbo that can be observed via a special photography technique)
increased ATP production in the cells (as in internal energy)
more oxygen in the blood (as in the ki for ibuki)
visualization aid (the colored energy we imagine to direct strikes etc.)

this de-mystification does not diminish the power of chi it just makes it more down to earth. It's not mystical just poorly explained.

don't blame the ancient masters, they could not observe it the way we do because they never had the vocabulary of sir isaac newton. But they saw what they saw and knew what they knew and recorded their observations using their limited knowledge. not bad, just incomplete.

E.g. we know 4 corners of the earth now to mean all over the world rather than actual corners but 4 corners still sound more romantic.

Im doing A levels in physics, maths, biology and chemistry. Im fairly sure, even with my limited understanding that at least some of the stuff on that list is bullshit.

Vectors describe movement using coordinates, explain, right now, to me, how aikido uses vectors.

ATP as produced in the mitochondria via the process of respiration, Yes. It is a biological process. Now exactly how is one supposed to increase it?

I have this question for you: How many other sports use chi? how many animals use chi? If it is indeed so powerful a force then why has it been discounted and discredited by scientists (the ones with actual knowledge of physics and biology)?

[Tom Yum]

Being as how I'm older, wiser, hairier, more experienced than most of you pansies and wannabes, I've had numerous opportunities to be required to learn some really useless, stupid stuff along my martial path. Stuff that would make my father, who has always been an essentially practical man, laugh derisively. I'll share a few, just to get the ball rolling.

1. Spinning back anything (kicks, fists, elbows, whatever)
2. Empty hand gun disarms (such as they teach in KM)
3. Tornado kick

Feel free to join in and add your own. Or disagree, but you better be credible!

Que tal Oso.

I think spinning back kicks are allright, because they do land and when they do they have a good amount of force behind them.

The other stuff (empty hand gun disarms and tornado kick) are pretty useless. But that doesn't mean someone else has actually used these techniques before.

Take Manson Gibson, TKD black belt and pro-muay thai fighter. He won fights in thailand with spinning back fists and spinning wheel kicks!

[osopardo]

Hola, Muy Tom!

I suppose there is a distinction. You relate spinning techniques to competition. I've plenty of sports competition experience where these techniques were effective, but no experience at all with these techniques in street defense situations. Primarily, because I've had many people whose opinion I respect, including my TKD instructor, recommend against them (even as he was teaching them). "Never turn your back on your opponent! Not even for one second!"

Which has lead me to categorize such techniques as "useless", in the context of s.d. and to wonder why we bother to not just simply learn them but to actually repeatedly practice them.

[CKD]

Here is a gun defense i found in a book.
1.Kick the gun out of his hand with a crescent kick
2.then pivot and kick him in the face or soler plexus with a spinning back kick
3.To finally disable him grab his head and do a knee strike to the face
Now thats a great gun disarmment.