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  • stupid people

    Ok...here's a little rant about stupid people. It should prove to be relatively funny...but if not, you can suck a dick.

    A little exposition about myself and my job. I work at an excellent restraunt in SLC. It's a small buisness, but we've won several coveted awards during the past few years.

    What I do is...I bus tables. (YAAAAAYYYYYYY)
    There is a certain and subtle art to my job. (go ahead and laugh, assholes.)
    I have to make sure that the tables are set and everybody is watered, that the establishment looks clean, tidy, and accomidating. I also have to help mediate, fairly often, between the kitchen and the waitstaff.
    (several "heated" arguements ensue, threats, general anger and confusion abounf, making my job much harder.)
    I try as much as possible to help the servers (sometimes I make more than them depending on the spread of their gross sales, whoot whoot!...on a good night I clear 50-75 dollars in tips, plus 5.15 an hour...for about eight hours.)
    and prevent them from catching chefs knives, or breaking down into fits of uncontrolable, inconsolable sobbing or rage.

    There are four common problems a busser faces in todays waiting world;
    Camels; people who drink excessive amounts of water, and bitch when their water hasn't been refilled...ocassionally when I have about four tables to clear.
    Campers; people who order, eat...and then sit. Sit for hours on end. I want people to come in and eat a great meal, and linger for a bit...but these people are entirely too excessive. The worst is when loud, drunk assholes sit there and joke around like fucking clowns up to an hour after buisness hours, and then tip shitty...which leads us to numero 3....
    Plebs; okay...this may sound assholish, but I'll go with it. Faux upper crust pricks, who go out to eat, act high and mighty by bossing everybody in the restraunt around, even going so far as to stand in the front of the kitchen IN MY FUCKING WAY and try to argue about something trivial..."what do you mean, these coupons can't be used together or after 7:00?!" or "hey...my ass is too fat, can you make my chair bigger, or my ass smaller?"
    These people are grotesque charlaitans, trying to act master to the Nietzche's slave morality...true masters of not true epicurianism, but rather pecuniary emulation and social climbing bullshit. I'm sure we all know the type of shitty suit salesperson or cubicle jockey who fiddles on his cell phone and acts self important...this is the type to which I'm referring...only drunk, beligerant, or fundamentalist religious, or any combination of the above, aforementioned archetypes. (won't tip over 10% because it's more than their tything at church.)

    Lastly...CHILDREN!
    Not all children, but there seems to be a current trend in the amongst those who eat out (get your mind out of the gutter and back on topic) to bring their ill mannered progeny to a fine dining establishment and let them run rampant as if it were some sort of kindergarten class room.
    People will either ignore their child as he/she runs around the buisness, marking up walls with crayons that mommy gave them, or underneath the feet of servers and bussers carrying pointy stabby objects such as...bet you can't guess it...TRAYS OF KNIVES...or hot soup...flaming entree's, and so forth.
    As if this weren't bad enough...people bring in either cheerios or crackers for their kids to grind into the floor zealously and gleefully as their parents encourage them to be evil little bastards. I don't know which is worse to clean up, scattered rice and curry that has been stomped into the floor, or the cheerios...but I'll TELL you what pisses me off MORE...cheerios. We do not sell, not to my knowledge have we EVER served fucking cheerios.
    I can now know that I can never be a good parent to a child, because from these little incidents, I have come to the conclusion that a battered child very well may be a well behaved child. (there is nothing more that I would like to do then field kick one of these cruel little jesters off a balcony, and their parent's with them.)

    How the **** can people be so stupid. Why? Jesus, God, Why?
    The answer a busser often comes to is, like Aloyosha in that one part of Doestoyevsky's "Bro's Karamotsov" there is no fucking benevolent God that would allow stupid people to breed.
    Read Thomas Malthus, muthafuckas...population control is a necessity, and if you are an ignorant, ignoble piece of shit, please wear condoms or get that shit snipped, please.

    There's my ontological argument, and a rant.

    Much luv.
    xoxoxoxox
    Goo.

  • #2
    aigh't...time to vent some more...damn this is theraputic...like talking to a shrink that I don't have to visit...and who can't rat me out to the pigs. (I wish I could insert a picture of scarface here..., oh well...)

    ****, dudes...so, I wake up all late today, had a late night last night. (every goddamn night)
    My hours are like...no shit 4:00 pm until 8:00 am at night. If I have to work, I feel like a zombie.
    I feel like I'm outside myself watching myself shuffle my feet and walk like a goddamn goon...it's pretty sick (not good sick, but gohnorrea sick) har har har...okay, where was I...okay, so I look like a doofus, and I feel like a doofus, and worst of all I KNOW I look like a goofy bastard and have no way of remedying it...sooooooo

    I turn to Stacker II. Oh yesssssss....and I bust my ass all quick like, cleaning, and scrubbing, and "would anyone of you care for more water, top you off sir?" blah....and my uniform feels too tight, because I feel bloated because despite working at a fine dining restraunt, I live off fast food, like honey butter scones, and although I'm by no means fat, some underlying anorexic compulsion makes me feel like jumping out of my skin.

    Freaka...

    And...my hair is long, I'm growing dreads, and I have a full beard growing in. I'm anti-social, so I go outside for occassional smoke breaks, and put my beanie and some music on...and I feel like I look like "I am Sam."

    Life fucking sucks...my closest friends are junkies, or incommunicado because I hang out with junkies. (kno what they say, "those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind." HA!)
    I'm in a constant state of fear and worry for my f(r)iends and ex's...and I'm even trying to do this friends with benefits stuff with my ex, and she's getting attatched and needy again...ughhhhhh.....
    I bust my ass at school, straight A's at a pretty presigious University (westminster college)...but have no social life there. (partly due to contempt on my part for some of the cheesedick, psuedo jocks there...and partly due to the fact that I have too much other shit on my mind to approach some random kid and start up some sort of trivial and pointless conversation.)

    I'm too busy or too tired to get a license. (also a bit of fear and dread, since most of the time I drive around with my friends, I do so with my heart and stomach stuck in my throat like a shaken champagne bottle.) So my autonomy extends to where I can walk, bike, crawl, or where and when I can get rides....which sucks.

    Damn...this feels good.

    And I've got until the 9th until I bust my ass with academia...and try and pick a major (I have vested intrests in too many fields to try and narrow it down)


    Whoot whoot...and this complete's my stupid people rant...with me being an exceptionally irrational and stupid person, who likes to spew, hopefully, amusing psycho babble, right at 'cha.

    Cool...
    I need a beer.

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm with you on some points... I feel that making children is far to easy... insert tab "A' into slot "B." You should need to have some level of intellectual prowess to make it work...


      The answer a busser often comes to is, like Aloyosha in that one part of Doestoyevsky's "Bro's Karamotsov" there is no fucking benevolent God that would allow stupid people to breed.
      -- FYI -- Dostoyevski was a Christian.

      -Hikage

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Hikage
        -- FYI -- Dostoyevski was a Christian.
        yeah...but the character (not Aloyosha, but the other brother) wasn't.

        Comment


        • #5
          Garland,
          stop bitching and get us some water, we ran out 10 minutes ago!!
          Have you seen my kids??


          P.S.
          Everyone should always leave a generous tip (if able),
          because you never know when a busser/genius is going to snap.

          Comment


          • #6
            Still Bitchin'...rant pt. 2: why I hate hollidays.

            I've come to expect very little of New Years, it usually ends up being either anit-climactic, or somehow goes so horribly awry that I end up taking somebody to the hospital, or end up doing shit I really SHOULDN'T be doing.

            This year was no different, except for the shit hit the fan before I even got out of bed. The night of the 30th/early morning of the 31st was shit, and because of some domestic problems {(siblings are FUN!-that's a sarcasm sandwich) fucker used my glasses as a drink stir, knocked our poker chips off the table, and freaked out on me in front of our room mates. next morning, I wake up to him talking shit about me in the other room, I get up to confront him, and he spits on me...I chase him, he runs out the door like a chickenshit, and I end up getting so pissed I put my elbow through a door and breaking the jam.}

            that got really far out of control, I ended up spending several hours out in the cold until I could get a friend to pick me up.

            I ended up going back to my house to pick some shit up. Three of my friends called me and wanted me to go to a rave with them...after what happened at the last one (look up Versus II on www.utrave.org) I really didn't want to go. Hanging out with a bunch of sweaty e-tarded, uber friendly hands on sorts really didn't fit the mood I was in...and as much as I've been freaking out about shit lately, if I rolled I'd probably have a stroke or an anuerism...the way the night played out, I almost had one on my own.

            My best friend wanted me to go chill with him, but I in no fucking way wanted my holliday to be screwed because he nodded out before or during a car ride to get somewhere. Nor did I want to go overboard and smoke any of that shit because I "got too drunk".

            Instead of these things, I decided to hand out with my other best friend, my ex-girlfriend. We started off the night by going by her friends house, and drinking some sort of apple drinks, I'd already started to polish off a 5th of peach tree schnapps...luckily, my ex was the D.D....and happily I don't have a license.
            After that we went to a party, with her friends from the first house we went to, and had to relocate because it got busted for some B.S. reason.
            The party was chill, but at about 1:40 it started to die down, so we decided to follow some of our other friends to another party.
            The plan was to stop at their place, sort of a cool little hippie commune thing, so they could pick up warmer clothes, some champagne, and then walk to the other party from there.

            My ex pulled her car into the back lot, behind the house...and her friend that lives at the house and his girlfriend got out of the car.
            There was a pretty large group of kids outside, but I figured they were probably part of our entourage, and the THING I FORGOT TO PUT IN THE POLICE REPORT THAT JUST BARELY CAME TO ME is that a car did pull up with us, it was light blue in color and looked like either an acura, or something.

            shit that I didn't hear or see;
            (Apparently the kid who lives at the house got out of his car with his girlfriend, and she started to try and talk to the group of kids, when she realised that she didn't recognize them. Her boyfriend walks up next to her trying to talk to her to calm her down.

            He feels a push, followed by some sort of wetness, and looks down to see some short kid standing in front of him looking directly at his chest. He stays completely still, afraid to move, and the kid pulls the knife out and books it, along with the whole other group of kids he was with.

            The kid who got stabbed starts to say he's been stabbed...nobody notices until the second time he says it...I'm still in the car with my ex, completely unaware anything had happened. He knocks on my ex's window, and pulls up his shirt. "I think I've been stabbed."

            I jump out of the car, we take him inside and sit him down. We pull of his shirt, the wound is about a half an inch wide, 3 inches above his right hip bone, and the blood is bright red. I know that it didn't hit an artery, and I'm pretty sure that it didn't hit an organ. He's breathing fine, and he's talking the whole time.

            I wad up his shirt tight, and wrap it to the wound with a scarf my ex gave me for Christmas. We (my ex-girlfriend, and his girlfriend) walk him to the car and drive him to the nearest hospital.

            During the ride, he keeps calm and tries to talk about the possibile people who might have done this...no idea. No possible scenario seems likely...there is no apparent motive, he thinks that they might be friends of somebody who has beef...but not as much shit to deserve any type of assault, much less a stabbing. He starts to complain about maybe having to pay a huge hospital bill, he doesn't have insurance.

            His girlfriend is screaming, saying she's going to kill these kids, and is saying some pretty weird shit, then starts yelling at the poor kid...saying it's his fault because he had a few drinks (the kid didn't say anything, not a word good or bad to the kids who did this shit, by the way)...or that he wasn't careful enough (there is no way he could have known...it was completely out of the blue...five feet from the door to his own home.)

            We stop at the hospital, I get out and go around his side, and give him support to walk on the left side of his body...we wait for the cop that's going to take our witness statements (3 of us...although there were probably 7 people that got a much better look than me or my ex, who were in her car the whole time.)

            I write down my statement, and I keep telling both of the girls that he's going to be okay, the location of the wound, his composure, and the color of the blood are good indications he's just going to walk out of this with a cute little scar on his belly he can show off.

            We wait, and the nurse and a social worker comes in...he's going to be fine...almost down to a T what I'd said was going on.

            We go upstairs, and drink some coffee while we wait, we see him about an hour later...talk to him for a bit, and his girlfriend stays with him.

            I end up going home at about 6. I can't fall asleep until 10, and I slept until about 8:30 this evening.

            "They" say what you do on New Years is what your going to do for the rest of the year...**** "them"...I hope that they're wrong. God, I hope that they're wrong.

            Comment


            • #7
              yeah...I'm just trying to finish up college first. Don't even have enough money to get an apartment, and I don't have enough time for another part time job.

              I'm just going to have to tough it out for awhile.

              Comment


              • #8
                You could always work at a daycare.

                -Hikage

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Garland

                  A little exposition about myself and my job. I work at an excellent restraunt in SLC. It's a small buisness, but we've won several coveted awards during the past few years.

                  How the **** can people be so stupid. Why? Jesus, God, Why?
                  The answer a busser often comes to is, like Aloyosha in that one part of Doestoyevsky's "Bro's Karamotsov" there is no fucking benevolent God that would allow stupid people to breed.
                  Read Thomas Malthus, muthafuckas...population control is a necessity, and if you are an ignorant, ignoble piece of shit, please wear condoms or get that shit snipped, please.

                  There's my ontological argument, and a rant.

                  Much luv.
                  xoxoxoxox
                  Goo.
                  Garland, you forgot to tell others why its important to be kind to your waiters

                  Been there. Your feelings are pretty normal for that kind of work. Don't despair.

                  Comment


                  • #10

                    Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.You don't know that for a fact.Ok I'll try not to do despair too much.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Mike Brewer
                      Look at it this way, Brother:

                      Nowhere to go but up, right? Ever consider a change of scenery?
                      B-dog is righ on the money as usual you're funny as hell garland but you need to stop hanging around da thug life peeps if you can.If you had a drivers license you could beat feet by yourself and find some other stuuf to do/some other peeps to be around.BTW what's wit da rasta look r u into the rastifari movement or what.BTW my favorite artists are Damian Marley and Sean paul if you're into ragge/dance hall I find them much more positive than the studio gangstas of today that inhabit "mainstream hip hop/rap." You need to think on a more positive tip homes. you'tre rants are still funny and remind me alot of myself in the past btw I hope you're ex gf is doinmg better via the drug thing.You also aluded to you blazing da green which is your thang but remember that smoking to much cronic can messs with you're dome long term
                      (speaking from experience here) the only thing wose for you is living in anger 24/7 for years(speaking from experience here). try thinking about 1 positive thing that happened to you during the day, every day that might help, also you may want to consider returning to the ring to let off some steam.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Blue Wave Gym
                        I hope you're ex gf is doinmg better via the drug thing.You also aluded to you blazing da green which is your thang but remember that smoking to much cronic can messs with you're dome long term

                        Yeah, she's doing a great deal better in that department...but she has a court appearance today for something like...a 400 dollar trafffic violation she let go for a few years. (Which is absolutely ridiculous. She has the money to pay it off today, I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping that everything goes well.)

                        And...this is official and for the record, I actually haven't smoked the herbs in quite a long time...it's actually been about two years since I smoked regularly, and about 8 months or more since I snuck a toke.

                        I'm trying to stick to my New Years resolution, and quite smoking cigarettes ...I've cut down on my drinking, not intentionally even, it's just sort of the way the cookie crumbles, I have no time to finish a fifth of schnapps or a pint of jack anymore...so I don't...and the result is, I'm now a much cheaper drunk...which I personally think is a good thing.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          WHEW!
                          the judge was in a good mood, the fines are gone...shit's cool!
                          yippie kay yay ma fucka!
                          Niceness...I'm already feeling much better.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I can now know that I can never be a good parent to a child, because from these little incidents, I have come to the conclusion that a battered child very well may be a well behaved child.
                            or very simply that those who "batter" their children are actually making good faith efforts to keep their children from hurting themselves or others.......it's called discipline and it has become sort of antiquated and scarce....when you meet one of thesze parents who actually bothers to discipline their kids (or who doesnt mind you disciplining their kids for you).....

                            interesting observation.......interesting in that it reflects society's changing role for children.......when i was growing up, a little physical discipline was useful in keeping the little buggers from getting themselves killed playing in traffic or putting their fingers in the wrong socket (this was just plain fun and useful work training for later).......

                            Nowadays when the kids get ya down just invite em to play in traffic with ya......they dont know....if you make it sound like fun.......

                            I have some friends living in san diego and they haver one pair of the most active, high enegry kids you ever gonna find........and they actually let you discipline them.......if the kid gets all in your face and insulting, you just twist the wrist and start spanking......if the kid cries, no recriminations.....the kid was probably acting up and deserved it....and what did the kid do when they moved away....he cried that he might not ever see me anymore........kids dont respect those who let them get away with murder anymore than animals respect an owner that does not dominate and force the animal to submit.....ever been over to a friends house who is a real animal lover and the house smells like absolute crap..........they let the animals run the place in fear of being abusive to the animals.....went to stay at a buddy's in san fran over the new year break.......slept in the living room (tried to sleep over the extreme odor of cat urine (8 - 10 strays brought in, rarely fixed and lots of competition) p u...peppy le pew, where are you??????....and he had seven skunks living in the back yard......darn sure it is illegal to have seven skunks living in your back yard without a permit of some kind in a big city.......couldnt call animal control on my buddy and certainly couldnt stay more than one night in his house........ (sorry Garland, not trying to steal your thread)

                            balance is hard to achieve, but let me tell ya, you is crazy if you think i am gonna let some feline use my kitchen table to hang out..........(rant mode is on)........let me tell ya, my felines get to sleep on the bed (not in the bed you sicko), but that is about it.......as part of their training i got a super soaker.....these felines liked water a little too much for any wimpy squirt gun to provide disincentive to bad behaviors.......

                            I do have something to say that aligns itself with garland's observations and experiences.........

                            I was working airport shuttle out of LAX and all of sourthern cali airports post 9/11........driving an airport shuttle is pretty tough in the best of times, but post 9/11, it was near impossible.......my wife had nearly died of thyroid disease and the economy stunk like my buddies living room........much of the time i made about ten bucks an hour (with tips) on average, but other days i made as little as $3.88/hr.....there were the 16, 20 & 24 shifts (with lots of time to cat nap in between pickups and while waiting for the next trip out of lax.....waiting could be for hours and you werent paid a dime for waiting time.......so youve been waiting 4 hours for a pickup......travelers are so rare that people from your own company are stealing your fares as you head into LAX to get em......i pick up a guy going to Irvine (40 miles away) and he has a voucher worth 18 dollars......and I pay for the gas........i gave him my best guilt trip the whole way down to the destination cuz i cannot stand to lose money on this trip that has so much time invested in it......making little money as opposed to large amounts of money is ok, but losing money for hours of waiting is not somehting i am willing to do.......well, my fare listened to my story of woe and tipped me 12 dollars instead of the customary two (i am certain my explanation of how we are paid worked quite well) leaving me with money to spare after paying for the gas.......to this day, i refrain from going to a sit down restaurant if i know i cannot tip as much as i would want to get in tip if i was the waiter myself........

                            Garland, you forgot to tell others why its important to be kind to your waiters
                            dont forget this one folks.......this is the other reasdon not to not tip......so you dont get what you did not want......

                            in between summers driving the airport shuttle i was a hollywood messenger.....talk about prestige.......i had sharon stone's oscar dress in my car.........i have been to almost every movie studio/special effects/ etc in and around the holyweird area.......we was paid crap, treated like hidden dirt, and twice tipped.......once i got a dollar and the other time a guy gave a few hits of the greenery (so i wouldnt charge him the time i would have to chrage him for making me wait fifteeen minutes cuz his package wasnt ready when he said it would be)......my attitude about crap jobs is as follows.....complain if you like, as you need to, but get the most out of it.........

                            learn everything you can, treat the lowly folks with the same respect you want for yourself and treat the high life losers you meet along the way in the same manner they treat you...with disdain and insensitivity......unless of course if they want to treat you like a human, with dignity.......

                            if i have to work a crap job then make the best of it.....dont worry about quitting or getting fired....if it happens, it happens and there is probably little that you can do.........from my airport shuttle job i learned my way around an area that i had previously been totally ignorant of.....the nie thing about crap jobs is there are lots more where they came from.........half of what i leanred in life i learned in college and the other half i learned at crap jobs.......and sometimes i am startgin to thikn that the stuff i learned at the crap jobs means more........dont get mad.....get even....move on as and when you are ready, but dont let the stupid people get you down.....my former boss, a self professed former meth and amphetimine addict says to me b4 i quit for greener pastures......"dont you get mad?" to which i replied, "i dont get mad, i get even"

                            i am not advocating revenge here, but rather sticking up for yourself since no one else is gonna do it for you, not even you so called friends and so called family.......i quit that job working for the former addict when they sent me to work for the "plumber". i was working in the building trades as an electrician, but had some carpentry skills that occassionally came in handy when they won contracts involving carpentry as welll as plumbing and electrical work.....the plumber wanted everything his way.......he didnt eat lunch (cuz he was overwieght), so we wouldnt......when i complained about not eating lunch, he offered to bring me a double cheeseburger meal from macd's.......the macdonalds was less than a mile away form out work site and our work site was about 80 miles from my home (OC to North LA county)........well, mr plumber not only liked to give me a hard time, but he liked to give his helper a hard time, too.......his helper was a young, mexican american woman from northern cali who was staying with the plumber and thus bearing an even greater brunt of his desire to control every facet of the job........me, i have little patience for abuse of myself and those around me.......we dont have to be friends for years for me to stick up for you.......if you are being abused, i figure it should stop........his helper, an openly lesbian woman, was being mistreated as far i could tell, from the standpoint of compensation (pay) among other things.......of course, be aware that i had been warned that this plumber was not a nice guy......i befriended his helper, which initially wasnt easy for she was naturally skeptical of men.....i gave her some tiger balm for her aches and pains and she seemed to warm up to the gesture, that and the fact that i did not act negatively when she mentioned her lover (and not boyfriend-lesbain lover the implication went)......personally, i dont care if you is green with little pointy wings.......i sitll wouldnt want to see anyone mistreat you.........i reminded my cowrker that if she is to be mistreated at the workplace (or underpaid) that there were so many opportunitites to be mistreated in the workplace that certainly one had many more opportunities in this area than had seemed the case....within a weak, she left working for the plumber and went back to northern cali.......

                            Make the best of a bad situation........dont let the turkeys get you down.....dont ever let anyone think you or anyone deserves to be mistreated, they dont.........

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Pick a major.
                              Get your god damn dirving license.
                              Yes, quit smoking and drinking. You'll save lots of money + you will be much more healthy.

                              Comment

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