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    (On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
    Question: If you could live forever, would you and Why?


    Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not
    live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
    then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
    which is why I would not live forever,"


    --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.


    ``````````````````````````````````

    "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
    all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love
    to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and
    death and stuff."
    --Mariah Carey


    ````````````

    "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
    important part of your life,"
    --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
    Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.


    `````````````````````````````````````````````````


    "I've never had major knee surgery on any other partof my body,"
    --Winston Bennett,
    University of Kentucky basketball forward.


    `````````````````````````````````````````````


    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
    lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

    `````````````````````````````


    "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
    our papers. We are the president."
    --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of
    subpoenaed documents.


    ````````````````````````````````````````````````````

    "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
    by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
    --A congressional candidate in Texas.

    ````````````````````````````

    "Half this game is ninety percent mental."
    --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

    ``````````````````````````````````

    "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's
    the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
    --Al Gore, Vice President

    ```````````````````


    "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
    --Dan Quayle
    ``````````



    "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much
    clean air do we need?"
    --Lee Iacocca
    ```````````

    "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A
    genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -
    --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

    ````````````````````````````````````````````


    "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
    certain types of people."
    --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.


    `````````````````````````````````

    "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
    --Bill Clinton, President

    ``````````````````

    "We are ready for an unforeseen event that
    may or may not occur."
    --Al Gore, VP
    ````````````````


    "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come
    from overseas."
    --Keppel Enderbery

    ````````````````

    "Your food stamps will be stopped effective
    March 1992 because we received notice that
    you passed away. May God bless you. You may
    reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
    --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina


    ````````````````````````````````````````````


    "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack
    in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their
    heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when
    they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
    --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
    ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,


    Feeling smarter yet?

  • #2
    Wow. Now I feel as smart as Norman Einstein!

    Comment


    • #3
      Man...I needz 2 getz thut smart,
      son...i don wanna bee on welfare my hole lifve.

      shit.

      (ps...send money to the G money kolige fund. sucka.)
      pps...sucka-dick...sucka.


      don't try and play dumb with me...cuz I'm da best at it. shit.
      (brush my shoulder off)

      Comment


      • #4
        deleted due to stupidity

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Garland
          deleted due to stupidity
          Nah, you've got that ghetto touch. I say keep the response.

          Comment


          • #6
            bro...I ain't even gonna spit what I done put in that bitch of a post...
            but you best believe it be some stoopid azz shiz, dig?

            Comment


            • #7
              Garland for president!!

              Comment


              • #8
                Hey he was willing to stick his in a light socket so he might qualify...Clinton didnt seem to picky either...and the bush men they seem to prefer mommy types

                Comment


                • #9
                  Wow, they were stupid. And all American too.

                  Theres a message in there somewhere guys -

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    The Internet is a great way to get on the Net.

                    - Bob Dole



                    Lol

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      7/5 of the population don't understand fractions
                      ---unknown

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Thai Bri
                        Wow, they were stupid. And all American too.

                        Theres a message in there somewhere guys -
                        Hay, tie bree you shouldda said they were teh stoopid.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          This one....

                          [QUOTE=Tom Yum

                          "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come
                          from overseas."
                          --Keppel Enderbery

                          ````````````````


                          Feeling smarter yet?[/QUOTE]


                          reminds me of Bush Jr...


                          "The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."

                          "More and more of our imports come from overseas."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            A new one from the congressional hearings on Monday:

                            "President Washington, President Lincoln, President Wilson, President Roosevelt have all authorized electronic surveillance on a far broader scale."
                            - Attorney General Al Gonzales

                            Wait...Washington?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Thai Bri
                              Wow, they were stupid. And all American too...
                              "Cod are not very good swimmers so they are easily overtaken by trawlers and nets."
                              - British government report on why cod fish are disappearing from the North Sea.

                              "Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."
                              - Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman

                              "If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet."
                              - Ernest Bevin, Former British foreign minister

                              "For most people, death comes at the end of their lives."
                              - GLR broadcaster, UK

                              "I'd rather be dead than singing 'Satisfaction' when I am forty-five."
                              - Mick Jagger, Pop Singer, before he turned 45

                              "My lord, we find the man who stole the mare not guilty."
                              - Welsh Jury Verdict

                              Comment

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