a few more.

[Garland]

I just heard tonight, an old friend, Ariel Knowely..."fell" from a tree outside her window. Long complicated relationship between us...her and her boyfriend were good friends of mine, until her boy stole from me to pay off some debts to his dealer. Haven't really talked to her since. Sad.

I guess I should expect alot more of this in the course of the next 2 to three years...I don't give too many of these kids much longer than that.


I lost another one that really was an accident to a fall hiking around Lone Peak in southern Utah no more than 2 months ago. He was climbing down some rocks with a friend, he slipped 200ft., and the friend made it back up the face of the rocks...they life flighted the one kid out, and didn't find my friend for a few days...face down in 8 inches of water.



I'm 20 years old and all the people around me my age are getting married, divorced, in rehab, in jail, or dying off...what is going on...?

[EmptyneSs]

I'm 20 years old and all the people around me my age are getting married, divorced, in rehab, in jail, or dying off...what is going on...?

welcome to this is the rest of your life

[Garland]

welcome to this is the rest of your life

yeah...trust me, I know.

It's a little disheartening to hear my best friend, who was the one to break the news to me, tell me that, after being clean for the first time since he was a child, that he feels like he's twelve years old, and doesn't know where to start being a functioning person again. I've known this kid so long that he is literally a brother to me, my family has taken him in under hard times, and I won't see him again until around his court date in late September.

In the past year I've buried 4 friends, tended to my friends who have been stabbed, been assaulted, and seen my friends go through shit that really seems like fiction. I feel almost detatched from all of it, and have since I was part of this little motely group of hooligans and party monsters running around Salt Lake, as if I'm just a spectator watching the events in my life unfold.

It's as if for a long time, I had two lives. My school life, where I attend classes, be quiet, practice martial arts in my free time...and my social life, where I went out with these kids.

Lately, I cut the social life out almost completely...only going out with my ex and my current girlfriend, and once in a blue moon visiting old pals...but still, I see my friends, and old acquaintances in serious peril. If I go out to a major party or event, something bad happens. 100% of the time. So I stay home and brood alone, or stay with my girlfriend or hang out with my ex's...and do nothing.

I'm a middle class white kid. I shouldn't have to bandage my pals up with scarves and ripped pieces of t-shirt so they don't bleed out from knife wounds...or see people I know walking around Liberty park trying to score, sell themselves, or huddled in the gutter trying to get warm.

I mean, Jesus...I saw a kid I knew a few months ago doing fine last week...he's homeless now, shooting up heroin in a coffee shop bathroom, and has hep c. This shit is fucked up.

[EmptyneSs]

hey well, at least you didnt get stabbed through the heart by a venemous stingray like the croc hunter


and dont worry, there is nothing wrong with staying home, its the best place to be.

[osopardo]

Sheesh!!
Whenever I hear sh1t like that I wonder about the why. I mean, why would somebody put themselves at risk and flirt with death? Stupidity? The thrill? A particularly negative perspective on who they are or what they're worth? And then again, "why?" What kinda crowd is this? Where did these kids live or go to school or grew up that they all seem to be hell-bent on self-destruction?!!? What the hell is going on in SLC?!?!!?

You better keep yourself boring and stay safe, man!

[Blue Wave Gym]

view from the end of the line in life

(mentally, physically, emotinally ect.)
that's just the way it is garland me boy. People esp. young people seem to do a great job screwing themselves into the ground. I've seen it far too much. Then add in the ramdom tragic accidents etc. and it's enough to make you say wtf!!!! if you think that's bad try going to like 2 hours of court ordered treatment 3x a week(If I don't I go bacK to jail, if I test positive for booze and they don't like me I go back to jail btw how long does it take to get booze out of your urine, I heard 48 hours cause it water soluable) actually the only reason I don't want to go back to jail is that it will severely **** up my schooling. Anyway think of this: for 1 entire year I didn't leave my house I just got drunk and watched tv and rolled around in a wheel chair or crawled on the floor/layed on a mattress etc. and was in super pain as usual he he. I thin during this time I lost my mind, I had been in hoffific situations in my life but always handled them with steel detirmination.After I went over the edge, I can't deal with any aspect of life on a daily basis, my memory is shot and the wacko delusions/ parionia is at an all time high but I'm still here so I win!!!!!!

[Blue Wave Gym]

btw

I'm not trying to be a johnny bring down so here's a bright spot i recently borowed a wheel chair from a dead person.There not going to be needing it any more and I can so finders keepers. So at least I'm doing better than that guy. Hey it could be worse you could be in Iraq or Afganistan right now and we think we have problems just keep on pimp'in homes

[Sagacious Lu]

Damn Garland, I'm sorry to hear that, it sounds like you've seen some tough times recently You're obviously an intelligent guy, you should focus on school, that will (more or less) keep you out of trouble. Keep your head up, don't let these people drag you down or get in the way of the things that matter.