I was scared to fight back to someone I knew i could beat up

[johnnyada1]

Ok,

im 17 and i live in London (hackney). the other day I was walking back from school and a kid stopped me he was about my weight ( i think) but a little taller.

he said "who the **** you lookin at" I decided i should ignore him.
But then he grabbed me, I knew i could probally beat him up. however I just listened to what he could say he Said give me your money. so i did only £1.

as I got home I asked why did I give the money over can anyone help me other come this fear. please

[Thai Bri]

Try www.geoffthompson.com

He specialises in overcoming fear.

[johnnyada1]

thanks i think I will look out in shops for FEAR THE FRIEND OF EXCEPTIONAL PEOPLE TECHNIQUES IN CONTROLLING FEAR

[Thai Bri]

Try Amazon. They sometimes have people selling his books second hand. Its cheaper. They are not routinely on the book shelves.

ps - Why not come along to the Shredder seminar in London on February 1st. OK, its £50, but the guy coming over from Canada has to at least break even. You should be ok at 17 to come in.

Its a great concept, easy to learn and really gives you a tremendous advantage in a fight. Geoff Thompson described the founder (Richard Dimitri) as "One of my favourite realists" (or something very like that).

[johnnyada1]

No I wasnt scared to hurt him. just scared to fight back. sounds weird I know but its the truth

[IPON]

No I wasnt scared to hurt him. just scared to fight back. sounds weird I know but its the truth

It is definatelty not weird. People freeze, just like deer when they see the headlights or an actor for gets thier lines it is a form of performance anxiety. This type of paralysis can definately be overcome, look at the web sites Bri provided, but only part of the solution is physical training alot is your character e.g. are you someone that avoids conflict in your normal life?? There are things you can do to increase fuctional confidence. This conept is no different than somone who freezes when the girl they like comes over to talk with then. Granted the outcome is very different (in a SD situation more than your feelings can get hurt) but the concept is the same. So don't beat yourself up, it's not productive. Just as being paraylzed is counter productive to your survival or avoiding conflict is not productive to lessen stress.

[johnnyada1]

I am a person who does not look for trouble but some how always finds it.
what are some ways to overcome this can i overcome this

[shadowkiller]

Thai usually knows his stuff so go with what he says.

But as for the deer in the headlights. Thats not fear, thats most
non-aggressive animal's instincts. They freeze and hope the animal or what not doesnt see them. Its just there basic survival skill that was developed for a world without automobiles. A natural world.

[IPON]

Thai usually knows his stuff so go with what he says.

But as for the deer in the headlights. Thats not fear, thats most
non-aggressive animal's instincts. They freeze and hope the animal or what not doesnt see them. Its just there basic survival skill that was developed for a world without automobiles. A natural world.

Ummm OK ...NOT. It is definately not a survival skill or "non agressive instinct" when a car approaches. Now if you want to argue that the reason the deer becomes paralyzed is not fear but becuase they become entranced with the headlights, I would say debatable, but probable not comepletely untrue. Deer will remain motionless to avoid detection in the woods, yes. But that is not the same as when they leap onto a road and see an oncoming car.

[Uchiha_Anbu]

Ummm OK ...NOT. It is definately not a survival skill or "non agressive instinct" when a car approaches. Now if you want to argue that the reason the deer becomes paralyzed is not fear but becuase they become entranced with the headlights, I would say debatable, but probable not comepletely untrue. Deer will remain motionless to avoid detection in the woods, yes. But that is not the same as when they leap onto a road and see an oncoming car.

If freezing up at the first sensory detection of a threat is what deers do then it has probably taken thousands of years for that to be built into their genetic code. That is unless they learn it from there parents. A deer most likely won't encounter any creature in nature that weighs more than a ton and moves at 60 mph directly at it. Therefore it doesent know to dodge the oncoming vehicle. I would think that the head-lights would also distort its depth perception. That being said the creatures instinct would be the cause of the hit. Well I doubt either of us has the neccicary facts to find out if anyone is right. I just wanted to prove you wrong was all, but I cant. I'm not exactly sure what this has to do with freezing up ina fight either.

[IPON]

I'm not exactly sure what this has to do with freezing up ina fight either.

I was just trying to illustrate a point that that freezing, paralysis, performace anxiety etc. is a natural occurence and I was just giving examples and I wanted to explain that it can be overcome. Regarding the deer it is not a right or wrong thing but thanks for trying to prove me wrong I will try to find some links and explain the psychology of this effect.

[Bjjexpertise@be]

I like how the topic slowly shifts from helping a man wit his fear into deer and headlights.

[shadowkiller]

See the deers natural habitat is the forest. So its not usually used to seeing cars. If the deer wanders out of the forest to get across the road to the next part of forest I dont think it knows it left.....

So the survival instinct would still be there....

[kodankan]

alright kid listen up,
don't be ashamed at your response. A true fighter or martial artists realizes his own mortality and what can happen if things go wrong. That is why you reacted the way you did. Personally i would have told the guy to **** off and then see what he did. But, I am older and have a lot of experience. You reacted fine though. the only mistake you made was letting him have control of your fear. Because of that he will find it easier to victimize another innocent. Just look at it this way. If it happens again, if you don't stand up for yourself you are also enabling him to hurt others. It is your duty to resist evil men to help the general public. If you did fight back and win he would think twice upon aproaching another person. If you lost, he would still think twice next time. If he has a weapon, then hand over the money. that is the only exception

[johnnyada1]

alright kid listen up,
don't be ashamed at your response. A true fighter or martial artists realizes his own mortality and what can happen if things go wrong. That is why you reacted the way you did. Personally i would have told the guy to **** off and then see what he did. But, I am older and have a lot of experience. You reacted fine though. the only mistake you made was letting him have control of your fear. Because of that he will find it easier to victimize another innocent. Just look at it this way. If it happens again, if you don't stand up for yourself you are also enabling him to hurt others. It is your duty to resist evil men to help the general public. If you did fight back and win he would think twice upon aproaching another person. If you lost, he would still think twice next time. If he has a weapon, then hand over the money. that is the only exception

ok that sounds good thanks so im like a