I was scared to fight back to someone I knew i could beat up

[bksposterchild]

That's a silly reason to fight. Forgive and forget, ever come across that little tidbit while praying?

no he hit me...

[shirase]

have you tried deescalating it verbally? I dont think you should fight this guy especially if you dont really want to. Also, fighting him just cus he hit you isnt a good reason. The whole thing could be just a misunderstanding, you should try to tell him you dont want to fight, and see what happens then.

[Tom Yum]

no he hit me...

So? Do you kickbox? Do you box?

You get hit all the time, but for training purposes. Sometimes pretty hard, by people who know what they are doing. If you don't forgive and forget all that prayer goes down the drain.

[Oreomeister365]

I've been in that situation in school a couple times.

I find the moment I feel threatened by someone I don't know, I immediatley get into my "stance" (which isn't some crazy chun lun wu chicken stance or anything) and he usually simply backs off, or in case he actually does make a move towards you, any at all (this is if you have down the fact that he is threatening you) jump backwards, evade him, if he stops you know he simply thinks way too highly of his power, if he continues advancing, I'd immediatley fight back, altho in most cases I'd let him make the first move so:

A-You know he's serious
B-he "started" it, so in the case you do go to court over it, witnesses can say that.
C-this doesn't mean you let him hit you on the first move, by all means get outa the way or block it.

I personally prefer to stay close to arms distance away, I hate getting to the point where it's simply rinning your bodies at each other, and grappling, I find having the distance to be able to deliver a side kick, and use my various skill to the fullest satisfying.

I also noticed anyone who isn't familiar in martial arts won't think at all about their legs once the fists start flying, so I find a side kick to the stomach works well if I can get it (they bow their head down and throw their fists at me in crazy unorginized blows, aiming somewhat close to my head. If ya think for a little bit you can devise a quite simple block to stop the majority of these from getting through.)

Just my expirience in random encounters. The first few times I was threatened I froze up as well, but at a certain point you realize this is just another person, no one that can harm you, and if you want to, you can indeed put them out of action. It takes a certain sense of pride in yourself to accomplish this.

[Pastyti]

This happened to me once. I had already been in a lot of fights, but they were always against people I was afraid of. Once when I was about 15 this older guy, who was much larger than I picked a fight with me. But I wasnt afraid of him. and I really was afraid of hurting him. He started throwing punches and I wasn't afraid enought to either fight or flight. I stood there like an idiot.

He broke my nose, busted my eye open, and busted a chip off my eye socket before I knew what was going on. Not to mention a fat lip, and spitting blood out of my mouth.

I ended up having to fight back anyway, and somehow, luckily, dropped the guy.

I walked home and hurt for a month. My eyeball was bleeding, and I had the worst headache of my life. This guy probably woke up and didn't think twice about it.

I really ended up taking a whooping on that one and really lost the fight, and just for not wanting to hurt him. When I went home I was laughed at, and my parents took pictures.

It could have been worse. But I learned some very important life lessons here;

1.) NEVER underestimate your opponent
2.) Never underestimate the situation.
3.) Its better to hurt someone in self-defense than take a real ass-whooping, and possibly lose your life.

I also questioned myself. If the only reason I did not fight back, was bacause I was not afraid of him. What would have happened if he was picking on somebody else? Would I have stuck up for them?

This was when I really began taking Martial Arts seriously as a way to defend myself without hurting others. I could already fight before (I was dirty as hell but it worked), But I wanted to be able to protect myself and others, even when I wasn't truly afraid.

If you are really afraid of hurting others, practice - practice - practice. You will find many ways to calmly put an opponent down without really hurting him.

Dont take it too hard upon yourself. This was a learning experience. Use this life lesson to further grow into a better person.

Hell fire mate, you must have had parents with a real wierd sense of humour. Did you come from a violent backgound?

[Pastyti]

Im only 18 years old and small for my age. This same type of situation happened to me but it was with a former "friend." A few people manipulated him into fighting me. I couldnt find it in my heart to fight this person that I knew for almost 10 years over some nonsense that someone else put in his ear. BUT it is really killing me inside that I backdown from him so now I am planning on fighting him. He doesnt know this but thats the best possible way - the element of surpise. I guarantee you nine times out of ten if you surprise someone they will not know how to react. And I know this for a fact because he surprised me in front of a very large crowd. That not only caused me to freeze but I was also afraid. I know it isnt always right to attack someone but being a man you must defend yourself from anyone that tries to bring harm to you. Right now Im training and praying alot for my situation. And hoping that god will allow me to use my knowledge and skills to best of my ability when I do go into combat.

Son, it ain't EVER right to attack someone. Wait for them to move, then strike, but only with enough force to put them off. Most times it isn't necessary to do serious damage, in fact about 95% of the time. Do more damage than is reasonable and you will end up in deep sh1t with the law. Not only that, but you will have to live with your concience. Fancy doing time? Strike first, that'll do it for you.

[SamTheMan]

I think that the best advice i can give is what TONGPO said - just ignore fools that ask what you are lookin at - If i kicked everyones ass who said that id have to make a queue - and then id meet sum1 better than me and get my ass kicked.

Of course i usually shift into a combat stance when im threatened. Nothing fancy, just that they know i mean buisness. Guy i know did that - Dean when a group of nasties gathered around him - they took the piss until they realised he was waiting for them to make a move and then left.

Also i work in a job where i meet a few *strange* people - just as an example, i was blocking an out of bounds door, and was approached by someone who tried to barge his way through. When i stopped him, he tried to goad me into a fight - and then pretended to punch me, and then slapped me. Now - I could have pulled a simple move and disabled him easily. But this is a school and i'd get fired and then sued. As was, he left and was placed in detention for 3 days - i consoled myself with imagining him working in a shithole for the rest of his life. Point is, in the short term it would have been OK, long term it'd have sucked. Only use your skills when you really need to.

[Ryo]

There's nothing wrong or shameful about being a pacifist. Take it as experience and you'll be better prepared for next time.