Help, I'm a nice guy!

[blu-eyes]

o.k., I just read a similar post about a guy not beating up someone he knew he could beat up. A similar thing happened to me at Fight night in a local bar. I froze up, it was incredibly embarrassing (and the owner was embarrassed to because I trained at the gym above the bar) anyway, that's not what Im worried about.

I am a ''nice guy'' and it sucks. Being like this has caused me a great amount of problems in my life. The whole reason I started practicing MMA is because I saw the movie Fight Club and it made alot of sense to me. So I trained for a few months, but I'm usually a fighter's punching bag.Is there any way I can maybe program myself to be of an aggressive nature?

[Tom Yum]

The whole reason I started practicing MMA is because I saw the movie Fight Club and it made alot of sense to me. So I trained for a few months, but I'm usually a fighter's punching bag.

Terrible reason to start training in MMA, sorry nice guy...please don't take offense to that.

If you're stepping in against good fighters and you have little training in fundamentals, that could explain alot and that happens sometimes too.

Are you working fundamentals regularly? Are you focused? Are you hungry?

[Twilight]

I remember that post about not beating up a guy he could have. I too am a "nice guy." I can't say that being a nice guy has caused problems in my life. If anything, being nice has gotten me some respect. In one situation, about a year ago some jerk who was causeing problems with some friends of mine ran into some problems. I don't want to go into details, but I helped the guy out and people asked me why. Honestly, I'd have to say that I do so because it was the right thing to do; to be nice to people even though they don't deserve it.

In relation to MMA i'm nice too, however i'm learning there's a difference between being nice and being too nice. I can thrash many less experienced people without beating them within an inch of thier life. That's not being too nice, that's being responsible. When it comes to those of either equal skill or physical ability I dont do as well because I hold back just like i hold back against the less experienced. Now that is being too nice. I myself am just learning. Think of it this way, if you're not giving your all in a fight against someone who wants your best, then you're also cheating them. Now that's not very nice is it nice guy? If someone want's my best it's kinda disrespectful to not give it to them.

Changing your aggressive nature? I don't know, for me it's changing my thinking, not my aggressiveness. I once shoved a guy and threatened to break his arms if he didn't stop harassing one of my girl friends. Is that being a bully? Is it being of an aggressive, confrontational nature? I dont think so. I think I maintained being a nice guy (nice to my female friend).

One other note, being nice and being competitive often conflict.

[Tom Yum]

Twighlight, that's an awesome story, you taught us a really good lesson. You must be an instructor to have such wisdom.

Thank you for sharing.

[blu-eyes]

I appreciate the advice. Am I hungry? Yes. In reference to being hungry for victory in the octagon? I'm not sure. I think I need to sit back and reflect before I make the decision to step in the ring. What attracted you all to MMA? What makes you dedicate yourself to it?

[Tom Yum]

Go get a sandwhich and fries or something...

MMA training is like no other sport. What I like about it?

Its big on fitness. Most people who think they are in pretty good shape who get into MMA find out they need a little more conditioning. You have to have good speed, strength, endurance, timing and coordination.

Its decent empty hand self-defense. It proves itself again and again against other styles and is incorporated into the military, police and other defense organizations.

It takes a certain kind of person to do MMA; an self-honest, hardworking, courageous type of person. You can't fake victories or progress; you can't improve without putting in the work.

MMA is the rebirth of an ancient sport practiced in Greece called pankration. I guess its in the blood of Western Civilization.

[SamuraiGuy]

I think knowing the person has alot to do with it as well, or for some reason caring about their physical well being, at one point that goes out the window, UFC etc. Whenever grappling with people I dont want to hurt, I tend to go just as hard to put people into submissions or holds, but always slack off on teh submission.

For example whenever I'm choking somoene I know, brother, friend, I always start to choke them, then relax the choke, and say, you better tap out or ill mess you up. I really dont want to knock these people out, or injure their necks/whatever, if the choke involves torquing the neck. Generally when I relax the choke they have a chance to escape, this just leads to more competition though which I like, I've only submitted my brother once, and there were many times, such as fully locked on armbars, that I could have made him do it, but didnt want to hurt, him. Hes older BTW, im not kicking the crap out of someone smaller then me.

In contrast to that , some people just dont care, for instance one day I was walking up my stairs and my older sister jumped out and slapped a basic sleeper hold on me, I woke up on the bathroom floor, that crazy bitch has no care for my well being!

[Garland]

I think knowing the person has alot to do with it as well, or for some reason caring about their physical well being, at one point that goes out the window, UFC etc. Whenever grappling with people I dont want to hurt, I tend to go just as hard to put people into submissions or holds, but always slack off on teh submission.

For example whenever I'm choking somoene I know, brother, friend, I always start to choke them, then relax the choke, and say, you better tap out or ill mess you up. I really dont want to knock these people out, or injure their necks/whatever, if the choke involves torquing the neck. Generally when I relax the choke they have a chance to escape, this just leads to more competition though which I like, I've only submitted my brother once, and there were many times, such as fully locked on armbars, that I could have made him do it, but didnt want to hurt, him. Hes older BTW, im not kicking the crap out of someone smaller then me.

In contrast to that , some people just dont care, for instance one day I was walking up my stairs and my older sister jumped out and slapped a basic sleeper hold on me, I woke up on the bathroom floor, that crazy bitch has no care for my well being!

Your sister sounds like a class act! Why don't you get her into training, might be able to make some skrill promoting her to knock out the neighborhood girls.

[Garland]

o.k., I just read a similar post about a guy not beating up someone he knew he could beat up. A similar thing happened to me at Fight night in a local bar. I froze up, it was incredibly embarrassing (and the owner was embarrassed to because I trained at the gym above the bar) anyway, that's not what Im worried about.

I am a ''nice guy'' and it sucks. Being like this has caused me a great amount of problems in my life. The whole reason I started practicing MMA is because I saw the movie Fight Club and it made alot of sense to me. So I trained for a few months, but I'm usually a fighter's punching bag.Is there any way I can maybe program myself to be of an aggressive nature?

Wait a second....you train above a bar???
Where is this paradise?!
Agressive, man, how could you be, you're living my dream, you bastard.

Seriously...some people just don't have it in them to hurt people without a real due cause...and those people have a name; pussies.
I'm only half serious...the truth lies in motivating onesself to destroy the other guy while having no animosity towards them personally...just think, this guy has been training to put you out and embarass your ass...it's just good buisness practice to put him down in the most caluclating, conicse, and economical way possible. Just go out there, punch homeboy out, or choke, or submit the sucka, and walk away after it's all done, with no second thought as to the damage you inflicted upon him.

Hurting people is part of the competitve MMA game. If you seriously lack the intestinal fortitude to lay into a guy who stands in front of you in the ring, you shouldn't step in there with the guy, becuase, and I'll tell you this right now...the other guy will have no problem hurting you.

[Tant01]

o.k., I just read a similar post about a guy not beating up someone he knew he could beat up. A similar thing happened to me at Fight night in a local bar. I froze up, ....
....
The whole reason I started practicing MMA is because I saw the movie Fight Club and it made alot of sense to me. So I trained for a few months, but I'm usually a fighter's punching bag. Is there any way I can maybe program myself to be of an aggressive nature?

Black and blue eyes, eh? Feel like fresh meat at the fight night? So what's the deal with fighting that's got you so scared? Is this a boxing match? Kick boxing? NHB? or do you play with knives? What kind of "fight" are we taliking about? ( I've never seen Fight Club) You say punching bag like there's some gloves on?

Get some training so you can punish these guys! You didn't think it would be easy did you?

[blu-eyes]

not easy at all, Im getting back in there.

[Hikage]

Blu-eyes,

If you entered the arts because of fight club, I imagine that you really haven't been in the arts long enough. Being in a few months to a year really isn't going to tell you enough to be able to defeat someone who is a street brawler. They are going to murder you every time. No offense, it's just a fact of life. In some ways, street fighting is an art unto itself and you wouldn't stand a chance against someone who has been doing it all their life.

I came to the point where I made a pact with myself. I will never get into a fight for mere pride. You aren't going to find me in a "fight night". You aren't going to find me in a sparring competition. You aren't going to see me fighting people in bars or on the street because they bumped into me. I reserve what I know for combat, not play time. The only time I will use what I know is when someone I love is in danger. I have trained myself to the point where when I need to use what I know, the nice guy ends. I have decided, and it is no idle statement, that when I use what I know, there will be nothing held back, and I've learned to turn off any remorse or pity I may have for the attacker.

But, this has taken time. This has taken confidence in my technique. This has taken a lot of thought and meditation on the subject. If you are getting your butt handed to you in competitions, I woulnd't really worry about it now. But understand, you need to learn to cultivate your aggressiveness. However, be careful. Once you begin to show agression, it can be difficult for people who are "nice" to not let it creep into their daily life and change them from "nice."

-Hikage