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Dowd on Women and the 'Baby Bust'

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  • Dowd on Women and the 'Baby Bust'

    Dowd on Women and the 'Baby Bust':
    It's All Men's Fault
    By Glenn Sacks



    Syndicated New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd sounded the alarm recently about the "scary" statistics on women, careers, and childlessness. "Fifty-five percent of 35-year-old career women are childless," she writes. "The number of childless women age 40 to 44 has doubled in the past 20 years," and "among [female] corporate executives who earn $100,000 or more...49 percent... did not have children."

    Dowd observes that "yet again...men have an unfair advantage...the more women accomplish, the more they have to sacrifice.." And, of course, she knows exactly where to place the blame.

    Men, she explains, "protect their eggshell egos from high-achieving women." In the marriage market, female achievement is the "kiss of death for women" because "men veer away from 'challenging' women." Dowd even implies that her own childlessness is the result of this "male" problem. Yet there are many reasons for the "baby bust" besides male perfidy.

    Reason #1: Women often do not adjust their preferences in a mate to their career goals.

    High-powered career women need men who will support their careers by scaling back their careers to become the children's primary caregivers or even househusbands. Studies have shown that under the right conditions, many men would be happy to exchange their long work hours for the primary role at home. Yet, paradoxically, women rarely choose these men as mates.

    Reason #2: Even successful women still usually choose to "marry up."

    Obviously the pool of available candidates for women becomes smaller the more successful they become.

    Reason #3: Some men prefer to marry women who are not as career-oriented as they are out of legitimate concern for their future children.

    Men believe, with justification, that even successful women still want men to be the primary breadwinner. Thus they know that if they marry a career-oriented woman, both of them will be tied to their careers, to the possible detriment of their children.

    Reason #4: Having kids is not for everyone, and many women have made an intelligent choice to remain childless.

    Feminism has spent 30 years teaching women to rebel against compulsory motherhood and domesticity and to focus on their careers. Many women have done it and are content with the choices they have made. For them, there is no ‘crisis.'

    Reason #5: Modern women's overreaction to the strict gender roles of the past.

    As dissident feminist Danielle Crittenden points out in What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us: Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman, the highly educated modern woman has been taught that any career sacrifices or accommodations made for men and/or children constitutes an unfair limitation on her freedom. As a result, the accommodations which all people, male or female, make when they marry and have children are resented. This resentment is often unfairly deflected onto men.

    Reason #6: Educated modern women have been misinformed on men and marriage by the Women's Studies programs in their universities.

    As a new report by the Independent Women's Forum notes, these programs focus on convincing young women that women are under siege and oppressed and that men take advantage of women. While serious researchers and scholars have generally concluded that these programs promulgate discredited research, the programs still imbue educated women with hostility and contempt for men, marriage, and child-rearing.

    These programs exaggerate the disadvantages and burdens women face, and ignore or misrepresent as ‘privilege' the disadvantages and burdens men face. For example, the fact that men earn more money than women, because they work the longest hours at the most hazardous and demanding jobs, is dressed up as "wage discrimination."

    The problem with Dowd and the many modern women who think like her is that it never seems to occur to them that they, not men, are often the cause of their own problems. Dowd is a successful career woman who has been endlessly critical of men. Yet, without a trace of irony, she chastises men for being afraid of successful women who, she says, may be critical of them. But how many women want to marry a man who is critical? Many domestic violence pamphlets even characterize men who are critical of their wives as "emotional abusers."

    A friend of mine recently explained the break-up of his marriage to a successful woman along these lines. "My wife said the problem was her career success," he said. "But I was happy for her and her success. The problem wasn't her career. The problem was her negative, critical view of men. In the end I simply got tired of being wrong all the time."

    Who wouldn't?
    This column first appeared on Cybercast News Service (4/18/02).

    Glenn Sacks is a men's and fathers' issues columnist and radio talk show host. His columns have appeared in dozens of America's largest newspapers. His radio show, His Side with Glenn Sacks, can be heard every Sunday on KRLA 870 AM in Los Angeles.

    There are a lot of emotional abusers out there and that is why I give a gentle warning not to be folled into a sense that they may be looking out for your interests.......

    In the end I simply got tired of being wrong all the time."
    and that is why I woke up to the radical feminist BS..........cuz i knew that while men do certainly do wrong, the theories that my mother and her ilk taught were, seemingly, that men could do "NO Right" (unless they acted like women-and even then they often didnt measure up).......

  • #2
    i might get a ration od sh** for this,but if women want children they can. im sure of they are qualified for a high level career they can jump back in at another company, and if they make over 100,000 a year they can hire someone to take care of there child and still keep there job. of course i dont know what its like to be a parent,but i know what its like to grow up with out them. i turned out fine and if a child is raised to understand what there parents are doing for them by working hard they will follow (i think). i know i want to be a success to repay my parents for the years i lived with them and all the luxuries i got. of course by not having them around i didnt learn to read very well i managed to graduate high school in the top of my class. kids these days need parents less and less tv raises kids just fine apparently.

    Cambece

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    • #3
      Originally posted by jacambece
      i turned out fine and if a child is raised to understand what there parents are doing for them by working hard they will follow (i think).
      NOT......
      Remember, your everything to your child and they want you there all the time. If your going off to work for long hours the child may think of work as the enemy.
      Originally posted by jacambece
      i know i want to be a success
      Success is measured by the happiness of your family and relationships!!
      Originally posted by jacambece
      to repay my parents for the years i lived with them and all the luxuries i got.
      By mentioning the luxuries I can see that your parents have taught you to worship the all-mighty dollar as they probably do. (please, don't take that comment the wrong way, but if you do i apologize)
      Originally posted by jacambece
      of course by not having them around i didnt learn to read very well i managed to graduate high school in the top of my class.
      You measure your success by your ranking in school/work, they have passed their idea of success on to you.
      Originally posted by jacambece
      kids these days need parents less and less tv raises kids just fine apparently.
      Cambece
      You forgot to mention a large screen TV

      To get back to to my original point....
      You are everything to your child and your are teaching at all times, even when your not there.

      Sorry to ramble, just listen to Cats in the Cradle

      PS
      I have 2 children and being a good parent has been the biggest challenge of my life!!

      Comment


      • #4
        to an extent i agree with you, what i am trying to say is if a woman wants to be a mother she can and men should not be to blame for a woman not having a child, thats all. i think children need there parents as much as possible, i feel like i was neglected, i was raised by my brother and sister, i got most of my ideas from what they did and how they acted. children raising children...never good.

        Cats in the cradle is a great song i like that story, he grew up just like his father and never had time...

        good luck with your children, i hope to be a good parent when i am ready for it, untill then i will just have to imagin how hard it is.

        Comment


        • #5
          Boston

          Hey man, it looks like the feminist issue really gets to you. Don't fill your head and your heart with these thoughts if it'll only make you feel worse. Get involved in your local martial arts community if you think it'll help keep your mind busy.

          Excercise is a good thing for your mind and body.

          I'm outta here.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Tom Yum
            Hey man, it looks like the feminist issue really gets to you. Don't fill your head and your heart with these thoughts if it'll only make you feel worse. Get involved in your local martial arts community if you think it'll help keep your mind busy.

            Excercise is a good thing for your mind and body.

            I'm outta here.


            I don't think Boston does martial arts - He hasn't posted one MA related comment or even referred to martial arts at all.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by gregimotis
              I don't think Boston does martial arts - He hasn't posted one MA related comment or even referred to martial arts at all.
              I tend to agree with those who feel boston is the female mind behind the shaolin temple in Georgia scam

              Comment


              • #8
                there goes my girl, spear....she so hotalicious......

                let me go for the grapple and tie her down tonight

                striker I am, not much of a shooter, but still learning, not dead yet.......bb nov, 1992, in a style that combines a little grappling with mostly inside kick n punch, straight up, direct, lots of physical conditioning, kind of like muy tai, but japanese in origin.......and yeah, I was doing kata while most of you were in diapers or just figments of your parent's imagination......you guess the style and you can prove you know more than you seem to....bo

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hey Tom,

                  Actually, I got into the martial arts to learn how to defend myself.........I needed to learn how to defend myself pretty darn much since I was never taught to defend myself by my mothers.........My mothers, God bless them both, didnt believe in violence to resolve disputes......they felt that talking things out had the power to heal (it can and often does). So, while i may agree with my mothers in that the need to talk and discuss issues before resorting to violence, I am not so naive to think that everyone is willing to talk about things before resorting to violence.......

                  Evidence the folks at this web site......I came here not to say how bad women are, but rather to suggest that women and men need to stop the name calling and start the understanding......There is a lot of misunderstanding on both sides of the fence and anyone who dares stand up and say that something needs to be done is the guy that we all decide to point the guns at......well, flock you, i dont care, i am here to merely say that men and women can stop fighting now.....we dont need to fight and we can certainly benefit from some understanding.........

                  interesting thing about fighting, though, is that while it often is chosen for all the wrong reasons......it often results in greater understanding.......reflect on how many times you have seen two blokes going at it in the ring trying to kill each other (figuratively speaking), each never having met the other......and the two often leave the ring with a bond of friendship stronger than most you will ever see.....the bonds that form in the ring can be quite real.......

                  thus, my martial experience leaves me thinking that certainly, the choice of attacking women, verbally or otherwise, is certainly not one i take easily or thoughtlessly, but one that must occur if we are ever to come to a greater understanding of the needs of the other.......

                  right now we have a lot of misunderstanding and blame going around.........most folks are just so flabbergasted that they cannot tell how this war got started, who started the war, how can the war be won, who is winning the war, and who gets hurt when the other side wins..........

                  feminism is good and feminism is bad

                  masculism is good and bad

                  now, can we take the good of the feminists and the good of the masculists and combine them somehow?????????

                  can we agree to disagree without being disagreeable or do you want to keep the war thingie going???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

                  i dont care,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i wanted peace,,,,,,,others seem to want war.........where is the martial art in war???!?!?!?!?!?!??! what war? the war of the sexes........and yeah it does involve the martial arts........scrambling to protect your nuts from the women who thinks its fun to kick men in the balls.......lol.........it aint that easy ladies (gents).....to kick me in the balls since i have seen that sheet coming so many times i dont even flinch anymore, just a block and a retaliation........tit for tat or something like that...........those women have a little something between their legs that can get kicked too and it hurts just as much and they go down just as hard and its just as funny, if not more so since they thought they were the ones who could so easily incapacitate.........

                  i started the martial arts to protect myself and women from big bad men (i had been raised to believe that big bad men were behind every door waiting to hurt women, thus i learned martial arts to protect myself, to protect women, and most importantly to teach women how to defned themselves.........lol, women protect themselves...lol.........it is so hard to teach a woman Martial arts of any kind since they are quite happy letting other people protect them....i even offered to teach free classes at the university women's center........but since we all know that big bad men cannot be trusted, they turned me down, and quite rudely..........as if they were dealing with someone who didn't even deserve a response.......whatever.....dudettes.....whatever.........

                  at first i got mad........and then i got educated........the spurning of someone who wanted to help forced me to do some research on other aspects of the male, female issue, feminism, etc.........

                  in fact, for years i had been raising issues with regard to men and feminist issues with my mother that she refused to even discuss (this from the woman who insisted that we talk about everything).....

                  Gender concerns have always been a great interest of mine since i was raised by a pair of lesbian feminist historians............i had no choice.......i wasnt allowed not to be interested in gender issues...........if i got hot and wanted to remove my shirt, i had to discuss how women werent allowed to remove their shirts........if my sister wanted to get married to a straight man, then they had to sit down and have a talk about how lesbians were not alolowed to marry and the related issues............

                  when i grew older (in my thirties) i told my mother i had trouble describing myself as a feminist since it did not well include my gender concerns, she began yelling at the top of her lungs through the phone...............i was urging the use of a word like secular humanism to describe a movement that includes both men and women's issues........she would not hear a word i had to say.......she was like sticking her fingers in her ears and singing "LALALALALLALALALLALA, I CANT HEAR YOU, LALALALALALLALALALALALALLAAL" (again-figuratively speaking)

                  my mother grants herself the right to shout over any concerns i have about feminism and continue to ignore my own needs and desires while pushing her own agenda (and that of women to the detriment of men-by refusing to see that we have distinct and separate needs from women.........

                  similarly, you will find that many people, men and women, will shout you down rather that discuss a way to find a balance betwen men and women that doesnt involve simply forfeiting your rights and concerns to the other..........it is mostly the men who will do the shouting down (they have been trained quite well, by the women and men, to do their bidding-often contrary to their own interests).........

                  things change......women become more violent, men become more domesticated.........we now have the first woman to have "gone postal" (no offense to any postal workers-ours is one of the finest postal systems in the world with a massively dedicated staff) in socal .........and the people she killed are just as dead as if a man had killed em............and not getting killed by a woman (or a man) is all about self d,,,,,,,,and knowing why they hate helps a lot if you are into self d or MA or whathaveyou.......Bo

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