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...Well boys, I learned a valuable lesson in situational awareness tonight...and also a VERY informative little epiphany about my local law enforcement.
Me and my buddy were walking down his street to the corner convenience store to buy a 12 pack...and we see this car (I know the color, the make, and a VERY distinguishing decal on the rear window...but missed the license plate #) pull to a halt maybe a few houses in front of us.
As we walk by, I get a better look at the car...four younger guys, either late in highschool or early in college (this happened down the street from my college...it would certainly be nice to find it in the parkinglot) ...a real scroungey looking bunch of longhaired hippie-esue assholes...ask us for a cigarette.
I tell them that I'm out, and the guy in the passenger seat asks for directions to the local grocery store...my buddy and I tell them, and like A COMPLETE AND TOTAL MORON, I lean in when they ask where...
"PISS MOTHERFUCKER" The cup hits me as they're driving off as quick as they can. By some stike of luck, my buddy managed to nail the driver in the face by flicking his smoke at him the second the cup was in the air, and they swerved shortly after...probably trying to put it out.
Me and my buddy run back to the house to grab the keys and jump in his car, trying to call the cops at the same time we look for these asshole's car. He goes so far as to tell me to be smart about it...no blades and no weapons of any sort...he's keeping his cool...and I'm fuming because I smell like piss and I want to curb stomp at least one of these little bitches.
We drive around, hit the grocer, look down side streets, parkinglots, everything to no avail. As we drive back past his house...we see a cop car driving around with its search light on. We pull up behind him, being really cool...my friend is trying to wave him down out the window and flicking his lights at him...and the cop keeps driving. This goes on for about four blocks until finally he flips a bitch and drives into a parkinglot with us.
We get out, tell him what happened. And he asks me what I'd like to do about it. I tell him I want to file a police report for assault and battery, and he says I could, but it wouldn't go anywhere...and he's on another case...there's been a burglary in the neighborhood.
We drive around a bit more, and after about fifteen minutes we pull into the gas station, giving up and deciding to just buy beer and go home, just carry out our evening as we'd originally planned.
Outside of the gas station is the same cop we talked to drinking a cup of coffee with two other cops...a fourth is on his way. They're meeting up and shooting the shit, talking about fucking livestock and bullshit. They AREN'T looking for the burgalar, and they sure as shit aren't looking for the cocksuckers that threw piss on me. They're just munching down on donuts and drinking coffee like a bad stereotype.
So...it's back to carrying rocks for me...and I know now that the police will never come to my aide...Shock and awe?...not really. Just angry I didn't find the assholes...and happy to know that if I had...the cops wouldn't have come to scrape their broken bodies off of the sidewalk, because they'd be too fucking busy eating donuts and talking about livestock.
Me and my buddy were walking down his street to the corner convenience store to buy a 12 pack...and we see this car (I know the color, the make, and a VERY distinguishing decal on the rear window...but missed the license plate #) pull to a halt maybe a few houses in front of us.
As we walk by, I get a better look at the car...four younger guys, either late in highschool or early in college (this happened down the street from my college...it would certainly be nice to find it in the parkinglot) ...a real scroungey looking bunch of longhaired hippie-esue assholes...ask us for a cigarette.
I tell them that I'm out, and the guy in the passenger seat asks for directions to the local grocery store...my buddy and I tell them, and like A COMPLETE AND TOTAL MORON, I lean in when they ask where...
"PISS MOTHERFUCKER" The cup hits me as they're driving off as quick as they can. By some stike of luck, my buddy managed to nail the driver in the face by flicking his smoke at him the second the cup was in the air, and they swerved shortly after...probably trying to put it out.
Me and my buddy run back to the house to grab the keys and jump in his car, trying to call the cops at the same time we look for these asshole's car. He goes so far as to tell me to be smart about it...no blades and no weapons of any sort...he's keeping his cool...and I'm fuming because I smell like piss and I want to curb stomp at least one of these little bitches.
We drive around, hit the grocer, look down side streets, parkinglots, everything to no avail. As we drive back past his house...we see a cop car driving around with its search light on. We pull up behind him, being really cool...my friend is trying to wave him down out the window and flicking his lights at him...and the cop keeps driving. This goes on for about four blocks until finally he flips a bitch and drives into a parkinglot with us.
We get out, tell him what happened. And he asks me what I'd like to do about it. I tell him I want to file a police report for assault and battery, and he says I could, but it wouldn't go anywhere...and he's on another case...there's been a burglary in the neighborhood.
We drive around a bit more, and after about fifteen minutes we pull into the gas station, giving up and deciding to just buy beer and go home, just carry out our evening as we'd originally planned.
Outside of the gas station is the same cop we talked to drinking a cup of coffee with two other cops...a fourth is on his way. They're meeting up and shooting the shit, talking about fucking livestock and bullshit. They AREN'T looking for the burgalar, and they sure as shit aren't looking for the cocksuckers that threw piss on me. They're just munching down on donuts and drinking coffee like a bad stereotype.
So...it's back to carrying rocks for me...and I know now that the police will never come to my aide...Shock and awe?...not really. Just angry I didn't find the assholes...and happy to know that if I had...the cops wouldn't have come to scrape their broken bodies off of the sidewalk, because they'd be too fucking busy eating donuts and talking about livestock.
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